Buffalo Soldier

Real Name: Scott Disbrow
Hero Name: Buffalo Soldier
Title: The Wing Crusader
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Hair: Black
Eyes: Brown
Height: 6,2
Weight: 174


Buffalo Soldier is never without his costume since his war on hunger and crime is never-ending. He wears an orange and red form-fitting spandex suit with the symbol of a chicken wing on his chest. He has a domino mask that doesn’t really conceal his identity since let's be real guys, how can you not tell what someone looks like if just their eyes are covered in a flimsy domino mask? I mean really you have to be like 3 or something. If Eddie wore a domino mask I could easily tell it's him because I use a picture of him as a meme. Anyways, he has a bit of a beer gut but is otherwise in shape. Buffalo Soldier that is, not Eddie.




Buffalo Soldier is the bee's knees, the cool cat, the brass tax. In other words, he is “lit” as the YOUTH would say. He is fed up with crime stealing from his wings shop so he is fed up on wings to give himself powers to fight them because the big gov doesn’t care about the little man working their small mom-and-pop stores. All they care about is Elon Musk. Is he a small grassroots store owner? No, and he sure as shit isn't a self-made man either. His father had shares in an emerald mine in Zambia, basically blood diamonds or in this case emeralds. Not only that but Elon in general is a tool that has made Twitter lose over 65% of its stock value from 44 billion to 15. Imagine losing 29 billion dollars and still having people call you a genius innovator. Wake up people. Anyways, Buffalo Solider is a nice guy you could share a beer with.


Scott used to be your run-of-the-mill Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant owner. He loved his store. He loved it so much that when his wife told him to choose between her or the wings he didn’t think about it for a second and sent that hoe to the curb. No woman is going to get between a sensible man and his wings.

Life was great for him, wings, a variety of sauces, wings, but that all changed due to the election of Donald Trump causing hordes of radial left-leaning liberals to take to the street and commit vandalism destroying many stores including poor Scott’s Buffalo Wild Wings store . Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t approve of Trump winning either but it is one thing to be angry at the government and another to take it out on random stores who had nothing to do with it.

Scott was angry, mad, upset even. He tried to write President Trump for aid whether military or financial only for someone who wasn’t even the President to respond with a crying while laughing emoji.

Deciding that enough was enough he went into the store’s basement cellar thing which honestly I'm not sure what the difference between the 2 is. Like, I see people call a basement a cellar but where are the cells? I'm just not really sure what the distinction is if I don’t have cages down there for my prisoners of war. Scott has cages down there so I'm just going to call it a cellar and if you disagree then write a strongly worded message to Pat because he is the site’s owner and is the only one that holds any real power over me you plebs. Anyways, Scott went to his vault and got out his SPECIAL X wings. Wings so coated in herbs and spices that it has become radioactive. Obviously, they gave him superpowers because that's just how radiation works in superheroes. Instead of getting cancer, you become like the Hulk or something. I wish I could eat a glowing lizard and get eyes that can look behind my head.

With his newfound superpowers, he has the incredible ability to gain different powers and forms from eating differently sauced wings such as Ranch and Honey Barbecue. Using his new gifts he made a promise to avenge his vandalized storefront from the evils of social propaganda, bad food, and the insane elitist fandom for Elder Scrolls Online. Honestly guys, I tried to get into that game and joined a clan only for them to kick me because I didn’t play like 40 hrs a week. I told them I was going to school full time and had to take like a month off to study for finals and they were like “Lol, lmao even.” Those dicks honestly expected me to choose a pay-2-win MMO over a degree I spent 6 years studying for like wtf? But yeah Buffalo Soldier is against that. Don’t be elitist gatekeepers. He now prowls the streets in his shitty beat-up Dodge Corolla, hunting down those who would make people hungry. This time it's the wings that bite back.


Sauce Boss: Buffalo Soldier gains different powers from dipping sauces. Buffalo Ranch gives him fire powers. Blue Cheese gives him mold powers. Ranch turns him into a Midwest dad. Honey barbecue turns him into a bear. Finally, Honey Mustard gives him the power of fight.


Nut Allergy: He is deathly allergic to nuts.