The World is so Combustable these days~ (Open)

"Bwuhahahaha!" Ignis, the glorious and very scantily dressed Superheroine of sorts stood on top of a large building and laughed hysterically. It wasn't quite a villain's cackle but it had all the makings of it if she was a villain in the first place. Fortunately for the world, she was not quite a villain by most understandings, but she did have certainly flexible morals about her which made a lot of people think that way. And also prone to doing dome stuff because it sounded cool.

"I can't actually see anyone from up here. This is not a good vantage point at all" Ignis shook her head and sighed. Channelling energy to her electromagnetic powers, she jumped off the roof of the building and let herself fall until a certain point where she could tap the Earth's Magnetic Field and push against it. Was not true 'flight' exactly, she had a ceiling of about a kilometer vertically, and her speed was not resounding, but it did the job, and she landed without breaking anything. Landing, as it turned out, next to a ramen truck. surprisingly, considering the sparse nature of her uniform, she actually pulled out a purse and handed some money over, and gave him a smile.

Dragging his feet he shifted the weight of his backpack. It didn't do much aside from the rattling clinks within and making him almost lose his balance. Despite how drained he felt he couldn't be happier with the last 3 days. New York housed probably the largest congregation of super villains anywhere and so many villains like to set up hidden labs and lairs. While he may be indestructible he isn't dumb enough to attack a lair knowing the villain is home but 9/10 the villain is currently in prison or an asylum. Those lairs were left wide open for the taking...If you ignored all the death traps, minions, and occasional self-destruct but to someone who couldn't be harmed it was easy. Usually a lair took about 6 hrs to get past the security and loot the place but this one...Well, who knew gravity wells could be such a pain in the ass? Took 2 whole days before the dam thing ran out of power to keep him in stasis and its not like you can sleep when being spun around in perpetual motion at 90 mph. To say he was hungry and tired was an understatement but the money, gadgets, and information he got was worth it.

Seeing a ramen truck up ahead his stomach rumbled. "I suppose I could get some food..." Shambling over with his load he caught the eyes of random bystanders giving him judgmental/worried looks. Odd were they didn't recognize him as the one and only DANGER DAN! and probably just some cleaner having a rough day. Normally he would put more of an effort for appearance sake but he was far to hunger and tired to care. The one thing he did pause at was some scantily clad women buying food from the truck. Hero or villain Dan mused. Probably a villain with the whole stripper get up. Hopefully she is just in between a scheme and is getting a bite like him. Stepping into line he waited and hoped his bright yellow suit didn't attract the usual attention. He just wanted some food dammit

Getting her Ramen and paying for it, she turned away and saw that there was a guy in a big yellow suit standing in line waiting. Politely waiting as well, so she wasn't going to do anything about it. He did remind her of someone, but that someone was a high profile villian who was a most dangerous foe, a powerful creature and a mighty being all around, so he wouldn't be at a ramen stand, he would be at his Danger Cave getting dinner made for him by Evil Alfred.

"Hehehe. Danger Dan at a Ramen stand. That would make a great greentext.
< Guy in Yellow suit outside Ramen stand
< BadDangerDancosplayer.jpeg
< Dan would be in his Danger Cave getting homemade food by Evil Alfred
< Does Dan even eat Ramen?
< Now I want an Evil Alfred.

Not, that Alfred was entirely good. Sups needed his ass kicking so that was one thing but that shotgun in Booster Gold was savage Alfred"

He couldn't help but stare at the villain not because she was scantily clad and pleasing to the eye but more so because she was talking to herself in greentext form. Well that's another crazy one for the list.

Even though she didn't pronounce his name right he was surprisingly touched. She might actually be the first other costumed individual to think of him as something more than a thug. He wasn't sure about the whole Danger Cave though, Caves seemed to be a bitch and a half to clean even with a super butler like Alfred.

Hefting his pack he moved in line and was a bit annoyed that the villainess was blocking path to food in the midst of her ramblings. If there was one think everyone should know it's that you didn't keep a man from his food.

"Can you move? You're holding up the line."

Bad Dan, or Ban as Ignis decided to call him on the spot, was clearly a very bad Cosplayer. As she stood off to one side, he spoke up with a rather weedy voice and asked her to move even though she wasn't even in the way. Tsk, people these days and their desire to be handed everything on a silver platter without even having to put some little bit of work in for it. A true Dan Cosplayer would make a big shouting scene of the whole thing because that is what the mighty Dan would do! No subject is to small!

"Your the one holding up the line, Ban. Did nobody ever teach you how to walk? Put your left foot forward, right foot will follow. Eventually you'll find yourself moving in a forwardly direction, and that is called walking. It takes a lot to grasp, admittedly, and you don't even Cosplay properly so I can see why you'd struggle with it. But stick with it, and you might get somewhere in a year or two. And then you can turn your attention to bettering your chosen villain impression"

"...Look, I've had a very long couple of days and my patience is less than the amount of clothing you are wearing. I don't know you and I don't care to. I just want some fucking food and right now I have some ditz telling me how to walk AND insulting my costume. It may not be as extravagant as others but its a lot better than dressing up like a hooker."

Sighing he dropped his pack on the ground and rubbed his neck.

"I'm glad you recognize me but I just can't be fucked with performing right now. I've spent the last 2 days in a gravity well spinning and I just want some food. If you're a hero cool, we can fight, later. If you're a villain cool, we can do something later but right now I don't care."

Setting the metal bowl to hover in front of her - maybe cermaic bowls got broken to easily or were difficult to wash or something - she took a mouthful of ramen and then ate swallowing that gave him a broad and somewhat lewd grin.

"I am not a ditz. I'm actually pretty well coordinated. Like, super cool dancer shit, which is fun because I have never actually danced. It's just sort of natural really. But hey, if you are actively calling out the fact that you can't walk by thinking a woman standing off to one side is in the way of you getting to the van. I guess this spinning gravity well must have messed with your brain. Though, if it's been two days since you've had anything to eat, I'd go with something a little more filling than the afternoon snack of a Ramen stand.

I am dressed like a hooker, because I want to put on the performance of dressing like a hooker and playing the role of Ignis the Renegade! Bwuhahaha! Fear the Flame and Give me your Underwear if you are cute. Ecetra, ecetra. You don't want to play the part, don't wear the parts"

An overwhelming feeling surged through Dan and overcame his mental facilities. For a brief moment he felt as if time suddenly stopped for several weeks. As if a movie was put on pause or a book chapter unfinished, or even dare he say it, that a aspiring writer couldn't work forth the will and effort to write. Fortunately this moment albeit seeming lasting forever passed and Dan soon regained his bearings unsure of what really happened.

"Right....Look, I think we got off to the wrong start here. I usually act the part when in costume but its been a long week. How about we talk things over once I get some grub? You're actually the first villain who isn't a stick in the mud or a psycho-for-hire I've met. Maybe we can work out a stunt to pull?"

While he has been more or less successful going solo robbing villain lairs and committing DANGEROUS DEEDS he has wondered about the idea of team ups. More often than not the big bads from various episodes team up to destroy the hero and it seems like a good way to get more renown. True even with the villain teams of the Sinister Six, and The Legion of Doom, the hero still triumphs but those cross over arcs were always the best.

"Really? I like where we got off. It's cute, and annoying. And I love both of them. But, you are true I am neither a stick not a psycho. I am doing this for kicks, shits, and giggles. With the occasional desire to clothesline people but that really does come under the first three, I guess" Ignis would then hand the bowl to Dan and flick her fingers.

Most people in the surrounding area suddenly gave a shiver or other such twitch as the tingling feeling of static electricity passed through the area and extended outwards, eventually hitting something that Ignis was looking for because it went away as suddenly as it appeared, and the woman looked at Dan, rather than her eyes going glazed and unfocused as before.

"For stunts, I ride a great unicycle. But before that you need more food that just a bowl of ramen. There is a restaurant about five minutes away. I got a reservation there for ten minutes from now if you want to get something proper to eat"

"Sounds goo- wait...Why are you here getting ramen when you already going to a restaurant? That doesn't make any sense....You know what, never mind. Not even going to ask."

Compared to the last 5 evil lairs he pillaged a girl being weird about food wasn't even in the top 20 of the weirdest things that don't make sense. Hell, maybe even top 25 but finding a Rube Goldberg style self destruct probably had her beat. I mean really who in the right mind makes a self destruct into a overly complicated and slightly interesting display? All Dan had to do was snuff out the lit candle before it was able to make enough hot wax to funnel into a small tube giving it just enough weight to activate a pressure plate ensuring that the gorillas were properly motivated via electric shot to stampede through hall B-3 which just so happened to contain the fragile completely exposed cooling system that was keeping the reactor stable. All in all Dan spend all of 35 minutes just watching and waiting for the damn thing to do something before he got bored enough to snuff the candle.

"So...Ignis, what do you do anyways? Do you have a theme like fire or something or are you one of the more free form villains. If it's fire then how do you feel about fire breathing lizards? I may or may not have stolen some eggs from a crazed scientist obsessed with dinos."

"But you did ask it. You only stopped yourself at the end, so it is already asked" Ignis pointed out, her somewhat confused as to why he paused so late in the game. Still, the question was asked, and so she would go on to give it an answer, like you did with questions.

"As for why, ehhh. The world is so reliant on electricity these days. Everything runs off it, near enough. So, when you have a girl like me, well...closest thing to a God this place has. I just tapped into the computer's processing core and added in a reservation for myself and you in some twenty minutes. And that sort of answers the other one, huh? I got the whole fire theme and name to make people think I have fire powers, which is fun to see the look on their face when it turns out I...dont"

Giving a broad Cheshire Cat grin at that, she looked off to the distance, and then back to Dan.
"So, you wanna hit up a clothes store before? Get out of costume?"

"What about you? Wouldn't you need to change as well? Wouldn't make much sense for a random guy to be eating with a costumed. Besides, theres no need, I can fold up my mask."

Looking around he noticed that the civilians have long since stopped paying attention to them, going back to whatever routine they are doing before. That's one of the weird things that Dan couldn't figure out. There he was a known super villain with a history of violence and incredible power and yet they don't have any interest in the slightest besides glancing over when he started to shout something.

He somewhat understood the homeless/drug crowd. Either they didn't really have much to lose so why would they be targeted or they were to high on whatever to care about sudden death beams and explosions. It wasn't just the underside of society though, it was more or less all of them. Wouldn't mothers want to get their kids away from him? He doesn't exactly have a record of hurting people much less children but he could. Why don't people fear him? Someday he'd hope to find an answer.

"Lets start heading over, dying for a bite to eat."