What lies in shadows [Red]

It appeared that reattaching the limb was an easy enough task, or at least forcing it to bond with the spot where it had been brutally ripped from at any rate. Still, something told Alpha that he had managed to piss Lucius off, but at the moment that was not what mattered. There was a certain carnal pleasure in ripping the arm off, something that had been felt before but he couldn't allow himself to overly enjoy something like that.It would have lead to him becoming a little overconfident and that only meant he would make a fool of himself when his abilities did not quite match up. That didn't keep him from feeling annoyance at being called a school boy, unless that was the reaction that Lucius wanted from him. He couldn't allow himself to be goaded into something rash, considering that Lucius was still the more powerful of the two of them.

Any attempt to take him in an open confrontation would have led to him being the loser, and the likely result of that was not something he wanted to think about. That was when a large number of chains had been sent out at him, a large amount likely meant to overwhelm his defenses, and so he did the only thing that he could do really. That thing was defend, creating a psionic barrier before him that the chains collided with, producing a loud clunking sound as he found himself being pushed back a few feet by the sheer force of it. The force behind them was impressive as they battered away, likely hoping to break down his defense and kill him with a single strike. This was not an idea situation really, but then again he had to make due with how things were.

Using a bit of his telekinetic prowess, he propelled himself backwards as the shield itself would continue to try and defend him against the attacks being thrown his way. The strain was beginning to be felt, and with his divided attention he could barely keep this field up with the relentless attack. Something had to be done, but doing anything other than defending would have been a mistake most fatal on his part, and that was not a feeling that he enjoyed. Slowly his defenses would wear down as he realized that this room was not one that he could actually fight in, not against someone like Lucius at any rate. Whether he had greater damage potential was a non factor as the metahuman could likely go at this far longer than he could hope to. This was hopeless, and something told him a fruitless endeavor as the cracks would begin to form within his defense.

Within a matter of seconds he could feel the strain and then that was when the first attack struck. Even with an attempt to shield himself, it was both a little too late and a little too ineffective at this point. Bones would shatter under the sheer force of the attack as he could feel the flesh itself burn. He could feel his left arm go limp, a small pained growl rippling from his throat as the other attack came down and shattered a few more ribs. pain made concentrating impossible now, as he felt his lungs burning from the effects of the energy. With all that he could muster up, Alpha created a pulse that managed to push the chains back before slamming into the nearest table and sent it toppling over with him.

A sharp pain stabbed through his chest or side as he tasted iron within his mouth. Something had been punctured and breathing became difficult, meaning likely that it was a lung. It appeared that he may have been in the dying territory, which was not exactly a good thing. All Alpha could do really was slump onto the floor as he could feel his life leaving him. It wasn't exactly the most ideal ending, but then again it was how it was.

So, with his arms crossed in a casual manner Lucius would heal as he manipulated the energy chains to his will, which continuously battered at Alpha for a good long while. Eventually, however, the male's defenses proved ineffective. Alpha was hit brutally multiple times, and it only stopped when he sent a pulse out that managed to repulse the chains. For a moment, Lucius wanted to kill him. He wanted to simply ram a construct through his chest. But that was that primal blood thirst the energy caused within him, and he knew that's not what he wanted. There was no point in killing Alpha, after all Lucius considered him a friend. A stubborn one sure, and one that didn't really trust him, but a friend none the less. So, Lucius finally sat down. Almost like an over worked parent finally getting a breather. His arm hurt, and he was just starting to calm down. Eventually he removed a phone like device from his pocket and tapped a few times on it before bring it to his ear.

"Get over here, Alpha is bleeding out........no, i didn't bring my 'magic' sword...... Yes, i was the one who did it........just shut up and get over here." Lucius muttered into the device before tossing it across the room as if that tired him out. He rubbed his face, and allowed himself to heal before Leo finally ported into the room.

"He's over there." Lucius said, not taking his eyes off of whatever space he was staring into.

"How many times are you going to kick the shit out of each other?" Leo asked, actually worried.

"Hopefully this will be the last time." Lucius said. From there Leo turned his attention to the person who was actively bleeding out and then let his power move over him. The light would heal the male rapidly, and in a minute or so he would be fine.

"Was this another spar or what?" Leo asked as he got up and brushed the wrinkles out of his clothes.

"No, Alpha here took my arm off after i partially strangled him to prove a point." Lucius said, saying exactly what happened with surprising honesty.

"Jesus Christ! You guys need adult supervision or what?" Leo said, Lucius just sort of ignored that as he waited for Alpha to perk back up.

"Now, tell me, how do you feel right now?" Lucius asked once Alpha sat up. Lucius then grabbed his drink that he came with, and took a sip.

The feeling of slipping into a deep unknowable darkness swept over him, that feeling of dying that so many people just pushed away when they thought about it. Death was never really something many people wanted to deal with but then again Alpha was not like most people. Death for him seemed like an almost absolute end. There would be no heaven, nor hell, just a black void named oblivion where he would cease to exist. That however did not stop his mind from throwing memories his way, images as if they would make him want to keep going, to push beyond this terrible fate that was quickly coming up to him. The moment that came to him was the very first, a moment that he always seemed to remember.  

His knees colliding first against the cold, sterile white ground as people stood around him with half interested faces.

Fear was his first emotion, fear of the strange white coated people that scribbled on their sheets while talking amongst themselves in a language he could not hope to understand. yet there was one who looked down upon him with such compassion, a smile that drew a smile on his own face. A warmth that many people knew only with a single word, mother. His fingers had groped clumsily as they cleaned the tubes fluids off of him and clothed him, ushering him into the learning process. A person that a child was supposed to be able to trust, but in the end she was not anymore trustworthy than anyone else.

It brought to mind then the night she had tried to end him. Those fingers clamped around his throat, closing off the airway as he kicked and struggled with eyes filled with moisture. Then there was of course the blood. Limbs being ripped from their socks, screams so loud that they seemed to transcend sound itself and then silence. save for his own wretched sobbing.

That was when consciousness came back to him, in the form of something warm flowing through him as his bones would knit themselves back together, and organs were repaired as they had been before Lucius had mangled them. Moving himself to a more stable sitting position, he found himself just staring at the floor while the words themselves were barely registered. Alpha rubbed his fingers against his eyelids as if to wipe something away, before he pushed himself to his feet. All it took was a motion of the hand to bring a chair towards him so he could plop down into it. That was when Lucius would ask how he felt, as strange as the question was.

"You want to know how I feel?" He spat that out slightly, with a roll of his eyes. "Miserable, how kind of you to inquire."

"Well, i figured such. Someone goes that close to death they are bound to get some memories coming back to them. It's happened to me several times, always the same. I see the person that gave my life meaning, bleeding out. I see that look in her eyes, the one that tells you this is it, there's no going back. I couldn't do anything, i was helpless. I had to watch her and everyone else i ever cared for die right before my eyes. In you, i see a lot of myself, you know. You've struggled, you've endured tragedy. Heck, your whole life has been one big tragedy. And even though we were sent down a similar path, we separate in how we deal with it. I express it through anger, violence, brutality...... You bottle it up inside you. No wonder you have cancer, the stress must be overwhelming. I see the grief in you, and you have to let it out. You'll be lost if you don't. You can't keep pushing it aside. What happened to you? You were happy once, weren't you? You used to trust people, but as you said, they betrayed you. Tell me what happened, then maybe you can go down the path of healing, because whatever happened broke you, made you despise emotion itself. So let it go, and say it." Lucius said. He was quite calm right now, as if he had gotten all the anger out of his system. He still felt the numbness in his head, the heat. It was almost soothing now however. This day might not have helped, but at least it shed some light on Alpha's problems. Maybe he could go about fixing them, Lucius didn't know. All he knew is in a time of need and denial, someone had made things clear to him. Alpha needed the same. Leo just seemed to Drift off before porting out of the lab, this talk seemed to be a bit too gushy for him.

It appeared that his overall miserable feeling was an expected one, but then again perhaps that was what the bastard was trying to get out of him by nearly killing him. Alpha could not really help but feel resentful at something like that, but then again he tried doing what he usually did, which was push that feeling down. Something had been mentioned about grief, yet he could not really think of what he was grieving for. Was it the fact he had been born nothing more than a scientists experiment or was it something more than that? Perhaps it was just the greatest betrayal within his life that had been something worth grieving over, though something had to be the reason at any rate. Instead of denying it, all he could do was sink into his chair as his body felt strangely drained for the moment.

Balefully he would look at Lucius, wondering where all of this was coming from before just letting that thought go. "You want to know what broke me?" This sounded like an almost amused statement or would have if he were not so drained. All he could muster up was a slightly wry smirk, as he recalled the day he was born and the days between then and when the great betrayal happened. "I suppose that would require I get to the heart of things and that will require a long explanation. However, I imagine you would have no problem listening would you?" He never really had to explain something like this to someone before, and the weight of having to was greater than he had thought it would be. Still, if Lucius were to be his ally then understanding would be something that needed to happen.

"It was in that facility, the one I operate out of, that was where is was born in. Back then however you could say I was nothing like this, not so...emotionless I suppose the proper word would be. It was there that I spent a lot of my first year, under the watchful eyes of the research team responsible for my creation. Within that time, you could say they were like  family to me, it seems like a long time ago." His gaze became distant for a moment before focusing once again. "I was a shy and trusting child, much like Ryan now that I think about it. Naïve to a fault. He explained wondering if Lucius could understand, but they seemed to care enough to inquire into it at any rate.

" Well, I don't know what it was exactly, perhaps my cancerous problem had shown then but they wanted to terminate me. So the one tasked to do that was apparently my caretaker, a young female scientist I had come to see as a maternal figure. So in a sense, my own mother had tried to kill him....unfortunate for her that my powers had begun to develop at that point. So I was forced to kill my mother and other people that I had come to trust. All I could think of at the time was what had I done wrong, and did they think I wasn't good enough? So many questions and not an answer to them. The questions came until it was almost maddening, I suppose you could say I was an emotional wreck. That was until I decided to rid myself of emotions, and that's how I ended up where I am now. Well, of course there was a process, but it's a little too boring to tell now." It was an abridged version of what happened, but then again not like he needed to know everything.

"In short that's the story. "

Alpha suddenly made a lot more sense to Lucius. Why he was the way he was. Cynical and devoid of emotion. Of course that would come from something such as that. It was a sad world, one that created it's own monsters. Lucius honestly didn't know what to say, for the first time since he showed up here. You couldn't just forget about that, especelly with a mind like Alpha's. His memory likely tortured him all day every day.

"I'm sorry.....i really am. But you have to let go. All you did by vowing to suppress your emotions is put them on hold. You'll always be broken and dominated by your past if you don't open up and face it." Lucius said in a soft tone. Alpha probably didn't really like him right now, but Lucius was sure he could understand what Lucius was trying to do.

"I'm sure you've noticed a change in my behavior, at least after a few months ago. I was bitter and murderous, my powers and emotions ruled me, my past ruled me. Only after i was subjected to some very....realistic illusions of my past did i except that it happened, and that i couldn't change it. Travis, you have to do the same. You're controlled by what they did to you years ago, so break free. That's the only way you'll find your purpose. It's the only way you'll find out what you were born to be......Cut yourself down from your strings and be the architect of your fate." Lucius said. Sure he was taking a page from Silus' playbook, but it's what Alpha needed right now. Whether he would listen or not, well that was up to him. If he wanted to continue to be controlled by his past and the deeds done to him, he could, but it wasn't the best thing for him or the world as a whole.

Well Alpha had told his story, as untold as it had gone through his short little life. Not many people knew it, save for the two that had been with him for the climactic portion of it. The question he was asking himself now was how Lucius would react to hearing something like that. Pity did not seem within his nature, and more than anything he expected something a little more callous, but then again this was a day of people proving him wrong. The first thing they spoke was an apology, one of those token sorries given out when someone heard something bad happened to another person. Just hearing it was unexpected really, but then again Lucius continued to surprise him. Suppressing his emotions in the end for him had been an attempt to...well toughen himself. Emotions within themselves seemed like a useless weakness, and within his mind it had seemed like the best thing to do.

If they served as an impediment, the only thing he could do was get rid of them before they dragged him down. The soft tone taken with him at that moment seemed more like someone talking to a child, but then again it appeared that he was just a child when compared to Lucius in the realm of experience. That was when the change within Lucius' behavior had been brought up, bringing up an unspoken curiosity that had been building within him for a small while now. Something had changed him, but what was the question that was flowing through his mind now at the usual rapid speed. Accepting that it happened, well that was something that he would have to do considering that denying it would have done nothing. Logically, it all made sense really but he found himself unable to accept that.

So many things could be logically rationalized, but he could not accept that one small fact. Perhaps he was more emotional than he thought, or more immature even. Having a perfect memory tended to do things to a person, especially when they went through something like that. Having to witness it a new every time he closed his eyes, well that was enough to make a lack of emotions preferable. "Break free? You make it sound really simple." He couldn't help but chuckle at the notion really, that just getting over something like that was so simple. Unfortunately it was difficult to get over when the very thing was thrown back in his face nearly constantly, a reminder why he must do what he did. At the very least he knew those born under him would not have to suffer something like that, not when he could do something about it.

"I suppose I won't know until I try." He said after a minute of silence with a shrug. "I'd ask for help but I don't want to go through any more strangling." A small joke but then again he wasn't known for his ability to make jokes.

"It's not easy, it's not simple. You'll struggle to let it go, but I'm not asking you to simply brush it under the rug. I'm asking you to try and accept what happened to you. It will never go away, not totally, but just like a scar you learn to live with it. I can't show you how to do it, but it needs to be done. Otherwise you'll have a very sad life." Lucius said, now considering something. He wanted to show Alpha things no other had ever seem, maybe then he would understand..... But then again, he couldn't know if he actually would.

"I want you to look into my mind, look at all of it. I got through it, and now i have someone to keep me strong, i have my kids, and I'm finally happy again. You'll have to find the path yourself, but the least i can do is show you mine." Lucius said before sitting back in his chair and closing his eyes. He let down his mental walls at that moment, not enough to allow control or anything like that, but Alpha would be able to see all his memories if he chose to look into Lucius' mind.

The first thing he would see is Lucius, as a small child, on the ground. He was sobbing, and a heavy looking boot hit him directly in the face, flipping him backwards and causing him to scream. Flashes of various beatings followed this, some ridiculously brutal. It seemed his stepfather was a drunk, a rich drunk at that. He was constantly beat by the man as a child from the looks of it.

Next Alpha would see Lucius as a teenager, finally hitting his father back. However, this only angered the man and Lucius was overpowered. At one point his stepfather grabbed a kitchen knife, seeming to aim it at Lucius' head while he was down. However, his mother stepped in and wrestled it from the man's hand, but she earned a punch to the head because of it.

From there, the telepath would see Lucius meeting Isabella at around 19, both smiling as they walked in central park. A strong, almost overwhelming sense of joy came from the flashes of memories of their relationship. They undoubtedly loved each other, but nearing the end, dread moved in. All Lucius could see was blood, all over his hands as he held his pale, dying fiance. The rest of his family crushed under a nearby building, his mother impaled on a board, his sister completely mush. It was all his fault too, it was he who said to stay in New York, it was he who said to leave the car. He lead them to their deaths when he thought he was leading them to salvation.

Next there was only rage, blood. His body was on fire with it. Flashes of murder and despair could be seen, and he just justified it all to the very end. He killed without mercy, woman, children, everyone had payed for what happened to him. He had turned into a monster, and that to was his own fault. His soul was black, he was corrupted, but then the memories of the visions came.

Alpha would see Silus, he would see what the boy did for him. He would see Sin, Blood Tithe, Samhain....and Lucius brutally murdering his own love over and over again. Smashing her head in, drowning her, tearing her apart with constructs, ripping her apart with his bare hands........ The whole room covered in blood

But then it stopped, Alpha would see Archon, and then Lucius' resurrection. His defeat of his inner darkness, and the redemption and guilt that followed. It would make any normal man fall to his knees the guilt was so debilitating, as if his very soul was being ripped from his body. He had selfishly killed thousands, and Blood Tithe was the product of that. It was all his fault, his fault, HIS FAULT, HIS FAULT!!!!!!!!

......After that, the visions would end, and Alpha would see Lucius sitting in his chair like before, the same expression on his face.

"It isn't a competition, I'm not one to seek sorrow from others, but if i can get through that and come out better then i ever was.....so can you." Lucius said. The information was likely a lot to take in, but Alpha now knew Lucius' entire life more or less. Maybe not in incredible detail, but he still did. And that all at once along with the rain of emotion was enough to break anyone.

Lucius wanted him to looked into his mind, an interesting prospect but something told him this served some manner of purpose. So that was why he let the tendrils of his mind reach out, invisible as they were as they reached into Lucius' mind unhindered. That was when he was met with the images, what appeared to be visions of Lucius' life or maybe just glimpses of it. There was so much for him to see and it all started when he was a child, and with a large amount of beatings. To think they had gone through that kind of abuse was not quite expected, but then again the unexpected was happening today it seemed. Things would go from there really, when he had first struck back even though that had only nearly gotten them killed by the looks of it. Another cut to a flash of what appeared to be a memory filled with so much joy that it affected him.

The woman he was with seemed important, and that made him wonder for a moment if that was the third person, that one who's DNA had been added to the three children. All he could tell was that the memory with her was a joyous one, but that joy was not one that would last it would seem. From there things seemed to take an almost dark turn as there was blood, and the joyous tone took an almost dark tonal shift. That was followed by nothing but blood, murder and overwhelming anger, something that was almost painful to witness really, let alone experience. It was then that he saw a rather familiar face, filling him with a sensation of annoyance more than anything else. It appeared that kid had a way of meddling with a lot of things. Though the rest there were unknown to him save for the one known as Samhain.

So much guilt took form , culminating in the form of something hideously twisted to the point of being disgusting to look at. Once the vision ended, he found himself looking at Lucius once again through their expression had not changed it would seem. So many people he did not know, it was all interesting really, but that birthed more questions than it did give answers. The overflow of emotion made him silent for a moment while he tried to control what had been affected by it before he could really say anything. In the end, he had considered anything more than his dull duty to be nothing more than a foolish dream. Improving the world, that was to be the thing he did or tried to do. Already he had considered the fact that no matter what he would fail, that was always possible.

Failing would have been something that he had to get over, if he was alive even to deal with the feeling of failure. The statement was true enough however. If Lucius could have gotten through what he did, Alpha should be able to get through the minor issue that  he was dealing with. He seemed to be in intense thought about this, finally speaking up after a few minutes. "Acceptance.....it's something I could do." He said, not quite sure what else he could say really. All of this emotional time was actually draining, to the point that he needed to rest but ret was never really something he had the luxury of taking. "As eye opening as this is, I'm...surprisingly emotionally drained."

It wasn't too much of a surprise that Alpha was drained, in fact Lucius himself was. From getting his arm pulled off to the glints of anger and emotion he went through, it was all quite tiring. So, it was probably best if they all went to rest. After all, they had just had a major victory, and sort of deserved it. So, it seemed this little meeting of theirs was over. As odd as it was, Lucius felt some good had come of it. Though whether that was correct still kind of remained to be seen.

"Well, get some rest. Oliver told me you don't sleep enough. I'll be tending to some things at the republic palace if I'm needed." Lucius said before simply turning around and walking away. A rather abrupt note to leave on, but he had arrived that way so he would depart the same. In an instant, he was gone, teleported in a flash of red light.