Powergrid

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OK, so let's talk about power grid. As he is right now there is not a whole lot of information and it would be tough for me to say whether or not he is a provable. But I'd like to get him to that point so let's see what needs to be edited.

First of all it's his personality. As is it states that he is cool headed and rational but also prone to rage and that's about it. If that's the case I would really like to know why he is that way. Did something happen to him? Does he have a temper? If so why? There's clearly a lot more to tell about his personality than the three or four descriptive words you've chosen.

Similarly with the history, there's very little information there and I'd like to see what this guys story really is. So far we know he lived on a military base and he escaped with the suit and that's really about it. On top of that you say that he has a gene that shows up in only one 100 quadrillion of a percent of the population which doesn't make a whole lot of sense considering they have only ever been about 110 billion people on earth. So that statistic is bogus I'm sure you came up with it because you thought it was a big number and would make him special and I understand why you would want to do that. But the fact is we had other electrokinetics on the site before so that statistic is way way off. You could just say that he has a rare meta gene and that would solve it, no unnecessarily large numbers needed.

Now to his powers. It looks like he's got the basic electrokinetic abilities but I also can't control electricity in other peoples bodies and has super intelligence. OK so parts of this are fine but it needs to be tweaked. The electro Canisius fine we can live with that, but manipulating the electricity inside another persons body is going to be permission-based, and you'll need to include that in the description of the ability. You're also going to need to write separately that he has super intelligence and describe to what level is that exists. The same goes with his electric kinesis tell us a little bit more about it how does he manipulate energy? What is it look like when he manipulates electricity? How many amps what's the voltage these are all sorts of questions that we would like to see from you so that we have a better idea of what he can do.

Your weaknesses have a similar issue with the powers. Saying one word or a few words like telepathy or strong magnetism doesn't tell us what the weaknesses. For example what happens to him if he's exposed to strong magnets? What about telepathy is he awake to? This extends as well to his if he become stressed he loses control of his powers. What happens if he loses control of his powers? Does he overload and zap everything around him? Does he short out and cause damage to himself? These are things we would like to know, and I have a feeling that in order for the stress weakness to actually apply you're going to need to make it a little less hard to reach. What I mean by that is you say he has to be incredibly overly stressed, which kind of sounds like it's not going to happen often.

Finally we have his suit, which were as I can see gives him about three different powers, or takes the place of three separate powers. Those would be enhanced to durability through the armor, and Hanst physicality through the functions of the suit, and a combination of flight and diving which I can understand we both work in the same parameters. So that means that this suit needs three weaknesses, you need a weakness for specifically related to his flight, or weakness specifically related to his enhanced physicality, and a weakness related to his armor. You already have the on the weakness as it appears that explosive like a rocket launcher penetrate the armor just fine. So only two more will be needed.

I know I've thrown a whole lot at you here but these are the sorts of things we need you to think about as you create and edit your app. If you have any questions please feel free to PM me, to hop on our Discord, or just reply to this app with any questions or suggestions or exclamations that you would like to tell me. I'd be happy to help in anyway. Happy editing!

Ok. I was trying to make the app into a military report style of thing, so I'm sorry if it was bitvague

Ok. I was trying to make the app into a military report style of thing, so I'm sorry if it was bitvague

You can still write the content of the app on whatever style you want so long as that style doesn't interfere with the coding or is evaluating it. And if this is meant to be a military report, wouldn't the military want to know and list everything they possibly can about his abilities? His history? His psyche profile? What they can do against him? That sort of info would be absolutely invaluable to the military if they wanted to have a dossier on him. So yea give as literally as much detail as you can squeeze into this.

Ok. Cool

I tried to add as much details as I could, hope it'll be enough

Skylord do you have any idea how many amps 900,000 is? Even if your average is 100,000, that's a full blown lightening bolt but yours is going to be lasting longer than fractions of fractions of seconds I'm assuming. You'd be creating plasma, potentially initiating nuclear fusion with those sorts of upper limits. Forgive me if this isn't the case, but I get the distinct impression that you're just coming up with big numbers to sound impressive with little care for what those big numbers actually mean. You're better off to just give an example of something that he can do as a "highest level feat" or comparing the electricity he generates to being as lethal as a lightning bolt.

Your weaknesses are going to need to be harsher as well. If telepathy is a weakness of his because of focus I'd include two things in that weakness, that permission is not needed to use telepathy on him and ANYTHING that could break his focus will disrupt his ability to manipulate electricity. You'll also need a third weakness as currently he has three abilities (electrokinesis, electric technopathy, super intelligence). Good ones might include; EMPs disable his abilities, his body is not immune to electrical damage, etc. also please move his armor weaknesses below his armor, not in the weakness section.

Finally, the year in this world is 202X, so either Powergrid is older than you have written or those dates will need to be adjusted. That's really a pretty minor thing but it helps to keep things consistent.

Is it good now??

The weaknesses need to be worded more strongly. So instead of "this only happened one time and it's probably not gonna work but sometimes on rare occasions X might weaken him" it needs to be more affirmative. "EMPs will temporarily knock out his powers" is more of how that should be worded. This critique applies to both of his other weaknesses as well.

I did what I could. I'm unsure about how I wrote the phantom pain part though. Is there any way to further elaborate that weakness??

Approved until stated otherwise