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The Boundless Cosmic Centurion!

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The  Boundless Cosmic Centurion! Empty The Boundless Cosmic Centurion!

Post by Guest December 1st 2015, 7:59 pm



"Time is unyielding and fate is uncertain ... My future still lies before me! And where it beckons .. there shall drift The Boundless Cosmic Centurion."


Basic Biography



Real Name: Devour
Renegade/Hero/Villain Name: Cosmic Centurion
Alignment: Lawful Good
Age: Twenty Eight
Gender: Male
Race: Energy Consuming Entity
Hair: N/A
Eyes: White (Variable)
Height: 7'1 ft (Variable)
Weight: 1,808 lbs (Variable)
Blood type: N/A

 
The Looks
   

Cosmic Centurion:





 
The Legacy
   


Personality:
Cosmic Centurion:


History:

Devour was once apart of a dimension encompassing being of pure sentient limitless energy and power called The Aspect. The Aspect breaking off from his own energy created a being to scour other dimensions for more energy. Thus Devour was created and was casted through a dimensional barrier to feed upon everything. For twenty eight year Devour went from dimension to dimension to sate his hunger. Finally he arrive upon the earth dimension however was met by a cosmic being who knew of his presence. The cosmic being offered himself to sate the Devour's hunger to stop his plague upon the dimensions. The Devour took no notice of the Cosmic beings  offer blitzing the cosmic and consuming it's energy. The Cosmic beings pure good essence and unique cosmic energy altered Devour's very being. Causing him to fully develop the personality,abilities and the Cosmic body to insulate his hunger. From then on he went on as Cosmic Centurion and swore to repent from his earlier self and to become the ultimate symbol of good to all.  


 
The Powers and Weaknesses
   

(All characters can be as powerful as they want, as long as they are balanced with proper weaknesses.)
Powers

Cosmic Centurion :






Weakness(es)

Cosmic Centurion:













RP Mechanics

Cosmic Centurion:

Items/Minions

Physical Priority
(You are to put these physical attributes in order from 1 to 4. 1 is the highest priority, 4 is the lowest.)

Cosmic Centurion:






Last edited by Screamingstar on December 4th 2015, 3:37 pm; edited 15 times in total (Reason for editing : Just another name shorten and minor spelling edits.)
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Post by Guest December 2nd 2015, 5:03 pm

It's completed besides a few edits here and there mainly with names I can't begin RP until Approved Correct.
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Post by Thorgron December 2nd 2015, 9:58 pm

Correct, unfortunately I can't approve him just yet. But never fear, we can work through these issues to get you up and RPing in no time!

Okay so the issues. As is this character is on a power level that jsut isn't seen or accepted on the site. He is for all intents and purposes TWO very powerful charcters crammed together with a total of 22 powers not including his ability to transform which would make 23. Now, you can have as many powers as you want as long as the weaknesses are on par. Along with that, I'd be much more likely to see a plethora of powers as approveable if they were toned back to a smaller scale.

What I would suggest would be to pick either, Mr. Astronomical or Devourer as your character to use as even once separated from each other both would need some tweaking before I'd be comfortable approving either. That being said Mr. Astronomical is much closer to being okay. Devourer currently has so many iffy powers both for their own latent brokenness and they're synergy with eachother (as I see it right now he can absorb and is strengthened by absorbing anything that isn't a direct magic effect) that I'd unfortunately be unlikely to approve anything that includes him without seriously removing and nerfing his abilities.

I hope this helps and of course if you have any questions either let me know in the C-Box or PM me. I'll be more than happy to help.

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Post by Guest December 2nd 2015, 10:19 pm

Edited
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Post by Thorgron December 2nd 2015, 10:38 pm

Okay so now that we just have Mr. Astro to work with we can get to the more detail oriented problems with the app. First off, you have all these numbers in your app. I would suggest removing them and going with equivalencies instead. For example you have that he moves at whatever meters per second, it comes out to basically mach 3. Not only does that read easier it also prevents the issue of "well my number is bigger". We used to have a stat system and it was removed for just that reason, so no numbers, use equivalent feats of strength or speed to describe it.

Second issue. I reeeeeeally am hesitant about the Astro senses ability. He can detect energy and differentiate between energy signatures it and whatnot thats all fine, the issue I see is in its range and level of detail. I would like to see both of those toned back before I'm okay with passing that ability.

And finally, we get to the issue of weaknesses. While you technically have ten weaknesses to your eight powers, most of these don't really cut it as weaknesses. Empty and Drained/Expended are the same weakness just to different degrees so empty should just be included in that, not be its own weakness. Jobbing needs to be something detrimental in order to be counted and a tendency isn't strong enough to constitute a weakness. If he holds back on his maximum power even if his life or others is in serious danger because he's a afraid of what he can do, then it would be a weakness. Anti-Cosmic energy is similar, its rare enough (I haven't seen an app ever for a character who uses "anti-cosmic energy") that it will never come up in a topic. I'd prefer that you be more specific with what type of radiation disrupts Mr. Astro as right now it could be light, nuclear radiation, low-level radiation from cellphones etc.it just needs specificity. As for the Fusion power, you'll need to add that its permission based as you'll be inhabiting another person's character. So with all that said that brings us to six acceptable weaknesses. however if you make the changes I've suggested, he should be just about ready to go.

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Post by Guest December 2nd 2015, 10:51 pm

Edited
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Post by Thorgron December 2nd 2015, 11:18 pm

Approved until stated otherwise.

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Post by Red December 4th 2015, 3:22 pm

Unapproved for minor, none power edits.

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Post by Red December 4th 2015, 3:56 pm

Reapproved

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