Bueno Dias Bueno Aires

"I was hoping..." Another spastic movement came from the bowl haired man. "Someone would give me a shot, but..." A round hit struck through his chest. "Now, I'm hoping someone will give a politician a shot so I can get a hospital to take care of this shot."

"See homes, it's topical."

"I just don't like it. Okay. He flails and talks funny, but I just don't get how it's funny. Let me say the joke standing still and it's just."

"Just?" A giggle burst out as did blood. "If you want just, maybe you should talk to your friend about gun control." His body swung around with his head leading the action. "Keep, keep both hands on it."

"I bet you're going to complain about-"

"These jokes are cheap and easy to write." I take offense to that. "He just uses his body to...Wait, what was that?" A surge ran through the complex. The lights replaced with a billowing sound of reckless electricity.

"Oh, it's dark. When I was a little boy..." His voice groaned off into a high pitch, completely out of phase from the pain. "I used to hide in the dark, and I would jump out and say, 'You can't see me. I'm invisible'! And, all my friends would say 'Oh, we'll see when the lights come on.' So, I stabbed them in the eyes and said, 'yeah, you were right. But, I'm still invisible'."

"That one barely made sense. It's like he came up with an odd series of words and finished it off with violence. I've seen more attention given to balanced narratives from Robot Chicken." Fuck you Bliss.

"Fuck you, Bliss." Clayton insulted her as he stood "First of all, that guy was brilliant, so fuck you for saying otherwise. Second, we could have died, so fuck you for not helping us. "

"Yeah, motherfuckers." The girl chimed in while her legs lifted her back up right, "Post attention next time. The guy has some kind of transmitter in his mouth. It was like attacking or brains or something. I'd like to take it home and study it but I don't want to touch his mouth." She looked up expectantly at her uncle. The hall way darkened, but but the glow cooking from her robotic eye made her expression clear.

"Well, don't look at me. Make Clay do it." He shrugged nervously, "Clay, get the girl her transformer or whatever."

"Wait, what? How can you tell what he's got going on?"

"I told you, my eye's got a computer in it." She pointed to the glowing orb in her face again

"And it can see all that?"

"I'm the batman of this operation, so it can see a lot of shit. I can tell you that dead guy is mostly cyborg. Maybe we can rebuild him or something. Heberto, let's pick him up on the way back. There's a lot of people in this building moving around all confused and a couple who seem to know what they're doing moving the way we should be."

"And here I thought this flash light was cool." He removed the pen sized light from his pocket and pressed the button on the back to illuminate the area, "That computer in your eye shut the lights down too?"

"Nope. Probably the guys haulin ass to the room with the rock."

"We should join them."

"Wait, what's so cool about a flash light?" It seemed and gadget was enough to pique Hurricane's curiosity.

And any amount of attention was enough food for Clayton's ego. He pressed the button a few more times; each press changed the color of the light.

"That is cool."

"Right?"

Within minutes they'd be at their destination.

-----------

Washington Wray sat safely unnoticed a short distance from the complex, and watched with interest as a semi pulled up to the building. This confused him. There weren't supposed to be any deliveries for the rest of the week. He adjusted his binoculars to get a better look at the driver.

A stream of curses flowed from his mouth upon recognizing the driver, "My own fucking kid. Probably here for that nutjob G."

His radio cracked. It was Nori. The damn kid finally quit wearing make up, but his timing was still slow. How someone could be so damn slow when they could turn into elec-fucking-tricity was beyond him.

"They're on their way in. You better hurry yer ladyboy ass up and get shit together though. Looks like Clay's coming to see you. Just pulled up to recieving."

-------

Nori was about to blow up on his mentor for the ladyboy comment. He'd quit wearing make up months ago. Visual Kei was dead, as dead as his father figure's soon was going to be. The idea of Clay being out of the way made him smirk. Surely Wash would be proud of him then.

"Philip, you heard the man. Head over there and take care of it."

Philip was an oddity, the weirdest member of a select crew of weirdos. Nori had no faith that he would stop Clayton, but he did not necessarily need him to. All he needed was to show him down while he shut down the building. Then the crew would do the lifting, and he'd kill his nemesis himself.

It took a few seconds longer than he would have liked to shut the building down. Clearly Philip was already distraction enough. Maybe a lethal distraction.

Nori touched his ear piece again, "Philip, what's your status? "

He waited a moment. No high pitched jokes came through. An acceptable loss.

Electricity cracked around Nori. With a bright flash he was in the wiring of the building again. It was time to handle things himself.

"No, fuck you, Jeff Dunham is funny. I don't use this phrase a lot, but 'comedic mastermind' comes to mind. He is definitely the Fall Out Boy of comedy." The heaping mound of Philip completely stayed out of Bliss' attention. "He's a cyborg? No wonder he can't make real human emotions. Get out of the way, losers. None of you can even set your alarm clocks." Bliss pushed her way to the front of the line and removed the brain attacking device. Bliss examined the object up until the lights went out. A level of commotion broke through the ranks until Clayton pulled out his flashlight. "Is this the first time you're using that flashlight with other people in the dark room?"

"Ha, she made a joke about you jacking off Clay!" The Hurricane clapped as he laughed towards Clayton.

The group walked down the path with little resistance. "Shouldn't there be someone to welcome us? I mean that guy you all thought was funny had a brain control device. He must have a transmitter or a communicator." A few head nods accompanied her, but Bliss realized they were in agreement to Clayton and his multi colored flashlight. Bending her brow to help push down on her back lip, Bliss started to make herself be more heard when a jolt of electricity shot through her. A hand covered her mouth and pulled her back into a hidden chamber.

"I remember you." Nori held Bliss's arm behind her back as he pulled her further from the group. "Do you remember me? I remember you running from me last time we fought. You ran long and hard and scared..."

A sudden kick from her foot landed on Nori's ankle, allowing Bliss to break free from his grip. "I really can't remember what happened back then. Did I actually run away or are you doing the fabricating villain thing? I kind of need to know for how I should best deal with you."

Nori flashed a warning shot of electricity in front of Bliss' face. "You used your little ice trick to..."

"Oh my god I remember now. I had ice and I froze you over..."

Nori's face shook in embarrassment.

"And then I gagged you with my scarf. I felt so bad for you; I actually felt like E-mailing you to apologize for how bad I left you."

"Listen, no, shut up." Before Nori could reach out to Vulcan grip Bliss, she threw a blast of energy to put him into the wall. This time Bliss did decide to run away, or maybe she did last time as well, who can really remember?

Eventually Bliss would come out at the same destination of the rest of her long lost group, but on the other side of the large room. Nori in quick chase after her and a room full of danger before her. "Fuck you Clayton!" Bliss shouted across the room. "First of all, how did none of you notice I wasn't there, second of all, what I was saying was sound advice, so fuck you for not listening!"

Bliss remained completely ignored by b the group as they continued down the dark hallway with their way lit by Clayton's ever changing flashlight and a the light emanating from the kid's eye. "Hey, you now, I had a dream like this once. I was walking down a dark hallway and then-" Hurricane paused with a look of confusion.

"And then suddenly dicks. Dicks everywhere." His niece chimed in.

"Shut up, idiot kid. Listen. There's no nagging. Are we missing someone?"

"Well, let's see. There's me, you, the kid and," Bliss was not where Clayton assumed she was shined his light a little further down behind them, "See, there she is."

There she was. Storming up behind them, and bitching about who cared what. She muttered something about no one noticing she was gone.

"Hey, girl, I noticed." HHH chimed in, but it fell on deaf ears.

"Look, your highness, were just around the corner from the rock now. All we need to do is grab it, save your life from Don's nano-whatever, and get paid.  You can talk this over with your therapist later, OK?"

A loud pop accompanied the shattering of one of the lightbulbs over head behind him. The second he turned to see what it was, he was doubled over in pain. A fist was planted swiftly and directly between his legs. His assailant shot up from the splits position he landed the punch from and into a back flip. His foot smashed into Clayton's face, leaving a gash on his cheek and Clayton on his back. His gun and flashlight slid to the wall next to him.

Nori stood over the floored Clayton while electricity moved up and down his arms and illuminated his figure.

" Fuck you, Clayton. How dare you? HOW DARE YOU?! Now I see why she's such a bitch." He pointed to Bliss, "I would be too if I was stuck married to a jerk like you. You never take others into consideration. I could have killed her just now and you didn't even know she was gone! You really are American garbage." He sent a wide sweeping arc of electricity toward the other three before he raised his foot up high and brought it down in a crushing blow at his nemesis's head.

Clayton rolled out of the way just in time to see the tile crushed.

"I knew I'd kill you someday. "
Nori stood tall with his legs spread and lightning wrapped around the fist he was ready to bring down on Clayton's face.

"Someday I'm not going to let myself get punched in the dick again, so good luck with that." He brought his foot up quickly to the same spot he was hit earlier. Just to, you know, show him how it felt. Then with a speed almost equal to his opponents he tumbled off to the side, recovered his pistol which he aimed at Nori.

Suddenly there was a scream around the corner. Shit had the kid run off on her own? It was possible. She was ahead of him when he turned around to look for bliss.

He kept his gun aimed steady at his attackers smirk, illuminated by the electricity that still crackled around his body. Doubled over in pain but still smirking.

"Listen asshole, you need me to do all the thinking because otherwise we all wind up in this kind of situation and we-" A jolt of electricity shot through Bliss' leg. Shards from a light bulb over her head burst as quickly as Clayton's composure. "Oh shit, yeah, this guy."

And then the insults came.

"Woah, we are not married. I can do way better than him." And then inspiration hit Bliss. "Hey, your Japanese right? Handsome. I bet you get all the girls, what with that awesome hair and these muscles." Bliss tried to exert her feminine wiles to the best of her ability to get closer to Nori. "I bet you don't even have to work out to get results, but probably still know all about muscle supplements and, well, picking up those metal things." Bliss improved her best impression of what a workout routine looked like, getting her hand close to Nori. "And, I bet you love..."

Nori keeled over in pain at the reciprocation from Clayton. "Well, that's over. Time to do to you what I'm sure every girl does." A blast of energy shot Nori into the wall, shooting surging his electric nature into a circuit connecting to the mainframe of the complex. "Aw, fuck. I'm going to see what that scream was. You..." Bliss felt her administrative nature fade. "Yeah, I don't care."

The scream brought Bliss into the room with the stone. "What happened AT-ST?"

Clayton picked himself off the ground and made it a point to brush himself off. “Why did he think we were married? ...Who would marry someone that crazy?” he questioned no one in particular as he inspected the blood the gash on his face left on his fingers, and hoped he didn’t need stitches. He looked up to discover the others were less interested in him than he was.

Around the corner and down the hall, Mr. Wray met Bliss and Hernandez with a smile and a loaded gun pointed at the young girl’s head. He stood behind her with one hand calmly placed on her shoulder while the other held a pistol to her temple.

“Oh, hello there.” He spoke calmly, almost cheerfully, “Pleasure to see you again, Miss Fukuyama. Who’s your friend?”

“Hey, ese, get that get that gun away from my niece before I have to come over there and—“ Hernandez was interrupted by the click of the gun being pulled back. Washington Wray wouldn’t have any of his shit.

The dim emergency lighting of the corridor gleamed off the golden tooth he licked before he continued, “I don’t know if you or Super Mex over there have any idea what kind of shit you’ve got yourselves wrapped up in, but you’re not walking out of here with that goddamn rock… Slow the fuck down, Clay. Your ass has got no reason to rush right now so put that gun down.”

Clayton came to an almost abrupt halt at his father’s command, “For the record, I’m only listening to you right now because you have a gun pointed at a child.”

“No records here but criminal records, Clay, like I was telling your culturally diverse little pals here, that rock is property of the United States Government, and in exchange for recovering sensitive material they’ll be removing some spots from yer old man’s otherwise pristine fuckin record. It’s not a bad set up, really, boy, why don’t you come with me and we’ll get you in on this action?”

“Thanks, but no thanks. I’m not buying into your bullshit. Bliss! Get-”

“Hold it! I don’t care if I gotta blow little senorita’s brains all over these goddamn walls, boy. You people are not going to fuck this up for me.” Washington tightened his grip on the girl’s shoulder. Tears ran down her cheek too add dramatic flair to her captor’s second interruption in a matter of seconds.

This made Hernandez visibly tense. He held his fist clenched and spoke through gritted teeth, “Do what he says, but you all better hope he kills me if anything happens to her.”

“Oh we can arrange that. Even though, I’d really rather not. Honest.”
Washington gave a mocking look of sincerity.


Behind him two men decked out in full military outfit could be seen through the clean room doors dismantling the device Necrodium’s crystal was connected to.

"I've been fine. I made more money than you did last year even at seventy nine percent of what a man makes." We here at SHRP address real issues about gender inequality. Bitch. "Oh and for the record, you guys are the ethnically diverse group, not me." With her hands in the air like she just didn't care about the severity of the situation, Bliss peered over to the rest of her idiotic group. "You guys know you're my tokens right? That's why I hang out with you. Oh, wait, no, you kidnapped me and made me come on this stupid trip and I kinda hope you all die."

Throughout the debacle, Clayton continued to speak with his dad, whom Bliss secretly thought had one reason for wanting to murder his father. "Hey, Clay. What's your relationship with your mother like? Do you carry a picture of her around?"

"Yo homes, she's getting Freudian."


"I'd Freud up with you Hez. Stop crying- I don't even know if my off hand for you should be racial or about the fact you don't have legs. This is a long day."

"A long day for a short lady is nothing for me." Hobbling with blood stains around his chest, the scientist peeked around the room.

"FUCK!" The rest of the security team came to restrain the rest of the team while Bliss endured the laughs coming from Hernandez and the rest of her comrades. "Great, watching this guy die was the highlight of my day. Now all I have is Clayton and his daddy issues coming full circle."

"I just can't keep walking into these circle of jerks."

Bliss laughed. "Hey! Keep doing stuff like that."