Once upon a time in the faraway land of Toronto Canada

"My idiot brother was dating a seventeen year old. He fought seven evil exes, which really isn't that bad, and ended up with one of the girls. I really can't remember which one, but it was a girl."

Thumbs moved along the keypad of a cell phone, smoke coming from the fingers of the girl reading off her text. Coffee pots brewed bubbled up behind her diverting her attention to the task at hand. Without hesitation Stacey leaped up and placed her foot on the counter and pushed off the side sending her foot over to kick the off switch on the expresso machine.

"Since then I have recently dated Aaron Rodgers, Lebron James, and Steve Nash. Then Wallace got new boy friends. Of course the athletes would never admit to it, but we all know what happened. Anyways...I should probably let everyone know what happened to Scott, so I'll youtube Bands..." A video of the band Dark Brooding Sad appeared. "Battle..." Their live performance of the new Chaos Theater in New York showed up. "...And beat down..." An epic three minute video played out of a man with a keyboard fighting against a large brute who lunged forward with a crash as a spear and the bass drum as a shield, a ninja who flung his guitar through the air, holding onto a very secure strap lock, a voodoo lady who played a bass that turned the crowd into mindless zombies, and a very sad looking emo kid continued to flip his hair while saying how sad his life was.

"Oh..." Laughter erupted from Stacey."...My..." She quickly mass e-mailed the video. "...God." She starred at the vacant beaten face of the man who received the viscous beat down. "Its so pathetic." Her laughter drowned out the demands for coffee that surrounded her from the counter. The phone lowered from the face of the beaten man, and in the corner it looked as though she could make out a similar face. She brought the phone up again to check to make sure it really was him.

"Excuse me mam, I'd like..." A patron interrupted her.

It was now confirmed. This guy looked terrible. "It would be mean to point out this guys failure in public right?"

"Don't you have a job you should be doing miss?"

"You're right; I need to call Wallace." Her phone slid up to her ear in a swift motion. "Wallace new guy a the second cup. Looks just like your type."

Today was like everyday for Wallace Wells. The usual job at the Rock it. Serving the drinks to the local drunks. Who had nothing on him. Casting glances at a tall strong attractive regular in the bar. Everytime he ordered a drink. Wallace was there. Looking into his eyes as he handed it off. "Here you go guy" He would say with a flirtacious undertone. Along with a slight wink and a smile. Still the guy seemed uneffected. Something that troubled Wallace slightly.

No matter how straight a guy was. They would never be able to resist his charm. Even Staceys little boyfriends. Supposed straight ones at that. Couldn't resist getting them some. Though Wallace enjoyed the challenge. Ever since him and Mobile seperated, this guy was his new one. Some one he was determined to get his hands on.

Then his inner thoughts were interuppted by the ring of his cellphone. In a swift motion he whipped the cellphone up to his ear. "Hell yeah! Be there in a sec!" Wallace said with that confident smirk on his face. "Umm I want two gins and a tonic" A familar voice said. Though in his curiosity Wallace ignored it. Dashing out to his car and rushing to the coffee shop. Zooming through the door.
"So what about this guy?"

BONK! BONK! BONK! BONK!

It seemed that fore-head kung fu could not bend a stainless steel bar. However, Johnny didn’t know any other way to express just how ashamed and angry he was at himself. Going up against Dark Brooding Sad! What was he thinking?! He’s just a desk jockey. Playing computer games and answering emails and composing stupid little techno songs! The bus shook forward which in turn made Johnny bonk his head again, but this time he wasn’t flexing his thick skull, so he ended up hissing in pain.

Twelve hours later he was standing on a street corner in Toronto and bonking his head against a stop sign. Behind him, three large suitcases sat rocking on the pavement. “Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.” Finally, when the dark spots in his vision had started to swirl, he decided now would be a good time to go home. Turning around, he glanced up at the old gothic building that had been the one and only major component of every single nightmare he ever had. And there, in the window, stood a shadowy man smoking a pipe.

His father.

The locks were changed. Ha. And even though the old man watched him climb the ice covered steps, he didn’t open the door until Johnny pressed the stupid little door bell.

Ding Dong!

The door creaked open, into an old musty hallway. For the briefest of moments, he wrestled with the idea of running back all the way to New York and just accepting the consequences of being a total loser in front of not only the musical world, but everyone else. When the shadowy figure of his dad appeared in the doorway to the living room, he managed a grunt and a nod before sliding back. The door slammed behind him.

Johnny lugged the stupid cases of equipment up the slippery stairs, rolling about 4 critical fumbles when it came to keeping balance, before he kicked each case down the stairs into the basement. When he flipped the switch on the dark dungeon, he was instantly reminded...

His life sucked.

Sluuuuuuuurp.

Johnny hated that house. Everything about it brought back years of emotional trauma. And there was always the feeling that his father was smoking a pipe and watching him. So, he ended up walking the streets of Toronto, playing Tetris and Zelda on his game boy. Eventually, however, he ended up in one in a Second Cup and immediately yearned for Starbucks, like it was somehow encoded into his DNA now.

Finally, he settled for an Italian soda and found a corner to wallow in self pity. The soda was good though.

((OOC: Bones inspired me, and as long as it’s a SPRPG I’ll try to keep up with the effects.))

Brock was always the big man in the back of the bar who kept to himself. Talking to people, making friends, a waste of time, who needs them? He was better off on his own. Only time he ever really socialized was when he picked up a chick, ordered a drink, or made a deal. Guess he was a pretty hardcore loner, but he had his reasons for being so cynical and untrusting. Yeah, there was a point in his life where things were different, but things change, and it’s a long story.

TAP.. TAP.. TAP.. TAP..

Pain sat alone under a dim light tapping his large fingers against the table; he had a lot on his mind. With his free hand he brought the half empty bottle of beer to his lips and easily swigged down the rest of it. “Ah.” He exhaled simply as he placed the bottle down next to four other empty ones. He felt pretty good, but he had a strong alcohol tolerance and it’d take a lot more than that to get the big guy going. He slowly rose from his chair and grabbed his thick black leather jacket off the back of it. He tossed it over his shoulder and dug his big hands deep into his blue jeans pockets before starting his nonchalant stroll over to the bar.

He was about to order a drink but some scrawny punk beat him to it. It wasn’t a big deal though, not like he couldn’t be patient. As he walked up, the big guy made eye contact with the bartender, but it only lasted a short moment before their visions drifted away. For what ever reason he could tolerate that guy, just something about him was likable. Even if it was usually very brief, he was pretty much the only person in this town he talked to by choice.

The kid in front of him didn’t even get to order his drink; the bartender answered his phone one moment and took off out the door the next. Brock raised a brow and stopped himself from chuckling; instead he smirked and softly shook his head. Bah, he didn’t feel like ordering from any other punks, guess he would just have a smoke instead. He pulled his hands from his pockets and put his leather jacket on which completely covered up his black t-shirt. He then casually walked to the exit and pushed open the glass door with one hand. The big guy kicked one leg up and leaned against the bar's wall as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes. His thumb flipped open the pack and quickly pushed a single cigarette up. He brought it to his lips and gripped it loosely between them before returning the pack to his pocket and withdrawing a pink BIC lighter. He moved the lighter to ignite the end of his cancer-stick and quickly inhaled the first sweet drag. He returned it to his back pocket before exhaling the thick gray smoke cloud into the cold air. His massive muscular arms moved to cross over his chest as he continued to puff on the cigarette.

It was nice out here. Pain had always loved the cold weather and the snow, guess that’s why he never got too sick of this place.

“… AND TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS! WE WILL NEVER SELL DARK BROODING SAD HERE!” Paul shouted at the group of flippy haired middleschoolers as they fled from the store. He chuckled as he held the door open behind them; they should have just checked the section marked “Dark Brooding Sad”. It wasn’t his job to help the stupid… Well, it was but try telling him that. He was a terrible employee but he had been the only employee since his cousin Julie left to work at one of the chain music stores across town, and at the second cup, and just about everywhere else in Toronto. Paul turned his attention to the rest of the store, there was only one customer browsing the aisles, “Hey! You gotta get outta here, man. We’re closing.” he called out to the man.

“But your sign says you don’t close for another hour.” the customer responded.

“Oh that thing? Yeah, that’s old.” Paul lied.

“Well can I pay for these first?” The man held up a stack of records.

“Sorry, I’d like to help ya pal, but I’m on my break. Besides, I’m doing you a favor, those records are terrible.”

“You’re a jerk. You know that? See if I ever shop here again.” The customer grumbled on his way out.

“You’re breakin my heart.” He joked.

Paul turned off the lights and turned the open sign around on the door before shutting it and locking it. He crossed the street to the 7/11, hoping to see that Pain guy and pick up some of what he sold under the counter. “Pain, my man!” he shouted as he walked in… only to be bitterly disappointed to see fat, sweaty Jeff Wanatabe (Age: 18 Rating: LAME) behind the counter, “Uh.. Pain’s not here today” said the mouth breather who kinda wheezed while he talked, “Well where is he?” Paul interrogated the kid, “Uh… I dunno.” Jeff answered.

“Some help you are.” Paul said as he promptly turned and exited the 7/11 and walked down the damp street towards the second cup, if he couldn’t get weed he could at least get Julie to give him some free coffee.

Stacey leaned forward over the counter to take up position next to Wallace. "Watch this while I explain." She held the youtube video up to Wallace for him to watch the beat down. "The guy with the Italian Ice is the guy getting beat in that video. I think we all know what you need to do to him." She thought for a minute. "Actually I should probably tell you what you need to do to avoid complications." A memory came back from a few months ago when she asked Wallace to help Lebron James get his head in the game, and then everything went south, literally. "You need to teach this guy how to battle with bands."

She starred across the cafe, neglecting her patrons who were now becoming zombie like without coffee. "Beans, beans, beans." They all began chanting in a slow voice, mimicing the classic brains saying of zombies.

"Miss, I have been waiting for fifteen minutes for an expresso, and you clearly said..." One of the zombie patrons bit into the business woman's arm. "Excuse me! What kind of establishment lets..." Her eyes became drawn back and her posture drooped. "Beans, beans, beans." She joined the chorus of a dozen zombies.

"I don't want to tell the master how to carry out his business, but maybe you should take an opportunity of the situation." A zombie swiped at Stacey, but she quickly blocked his hand by placing her phone in his hand. Knowing her surroundings and the power they controlled, she pointed to the 'No one on a cell phone will be served' sign. Shamed and embarrassed the zombie walked to the back of the crowd of zombies. "And get my phone back; I have work to do."

"No need to tell me" Wallace assured. oblivious to the zombie patrons and their moans for beans. Flashing back to a few months ago when Stacey asked to help with her boyfriend. Whatever his name was. Though he knew this much. Never knew "helping" would be so much fun. A sly grin coming across his face.

Wallace walked around the counter. A coffee zombie staggering towards him. It lunged at him. Only to be met with his foot in its face. Unphased by the encounter. Still making his way to the down looking guy. Two coffees that he managed to snatch from the counter. Steam rising in clouds. Out of the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of the guy from the bar. Apparently smoking outside the shop. Still that didn't matter.

He took his seat by the downtrodden man. placing a cup of coffee down. Ping +20 points. "So whats with the look guy?" Giving a flirtacious look and a sly smile. Smiling as he took a sip of coffee. + 1 charisma. Always a good thing in situations like this. Not that he needed anymore , but still. Wasnt as good as alcohol.

The patrons of the Second Cup seemed to be undergoing some form of... Horrible infection. It spread through what looked like bites. One patron would gnaw the one in front and so on and so on. As Johnny sat there, slowly losing the ability to stack a bunch of Multico lored blocks. This was bad ju ju. He remembered the way that the crowd had changed when that Voodoo Witch had started her unholy Bass... With a shudder he tried to shake the feeling off, instead focusing on the game in front of him instead, trying to avoid the Game Over that loomed in front.

Oh god. He was loser.

With a clunk he knocked himself unconscious against the desk and seemed to be transported across time and space. He awoke in a dark and crowded recording booth, similar to the cubicle he had back in New York, America and the cubicle he was about to get in Toronto, Canada. But there was no computer. Instead, there was a large smooth keyboard in front of him. No keys. Instead, two large buttons. One that said “You Lose,” while the other claimed that “You Fail.” Between the two of them was a little dial with an arrow spinning from one side to the other, ticking away, while each button flashed. In front of him outside of the glass window, a hundred different mistakes seemed to be paraded back and forth, back and forth, like some sort of really awful dream sequence.

Oh no... I suck so hard... He curled up, below the glass and whimpered into the darkness.

With a bang, a coffee cup was placed beside his head and he smelt something so delicious that it coaxed him out of whatever sub-reality he had been in. Without picking the cup, he lifted his hand took a sip, a dark aura hanging like a funny halo around his head.

"So what’s with the look guy?"

Johnny hissed at the coffee as he felt his tongue singed and instead sat all the way up, to glance at what he thought was a rather nice looking guy. Not that he was gay. But... Well, he had sort of cute hair. And he liked those eyes, they were pretty- Wait a minute! He wasn’t gay! And right now, he was probably blushing as red as a stop light. Now, the silence that had been growing between the two of them seemed to widen even more, until it became a gaping dark chasm with Johnny on wide side trying to choke out a word and the guy on the other, giving him a rather dashing look...

”I’m not gay!”

+ 100 YOU SUCK

A thick gray cloud of smoke escaped through his nose before raising his lowered head up to the sky. It was a cloudy day, and the sun barely shined through; it was a nice day to him. A heavy breeze gusted into him, shriveling what was left of the cigarette down to a stub. “Shit.” His voice muffled by the cigarette, talking out the corner of his lips. He inhaled one final drag before spitting it out onto the snowy ground. The big guy uncrossed his arms and moved off the wall, might as well go take a walk somewhere; he was bored with the bar at the moment. His hands immediately moved to dig into his thick jacket’s pockets as he started walking down the street. Might as well get a coffee or something, maybe afterwards he’d drop by 711 to mess with his coworker. He finally exhaled the smoke through his nostrils as he slowly made his way towards the second cup. Usually there were some good looking gals there, so it wasn't all bad; maybe he'd pick one up, just depends if he found some one worth it. He was pretty selective with his women, but he knew how to pick em' and how to get em' running to him.

The coffee shop came into view, and oddly enough so did a familiar face. This guy was a usual customer of his, one of his best, and he usually didn’t see him unless they were making an exchange. He was barely able to remember his name, but he thought he was right about it; Paul, right? Ah, what ever, he was bad with names anyway. The two of them drew closer and Pain would greet him with a nod of his head before speaking up in his rough voice. “Yo.” Sweet, he might just score a deal here. This shit paid way better than that stupid convenient store.

His icy blue eyes briefly darted over to view the inside of the coffee shop, and what ever was going on in there seemed a little odd. He shrugged it off and moved his vision back to align with the guy standing in front of him

Paul didn’t respond to the gruff voice he heard outside the shop, he didn’t even look up to see the who the voice was attached to, had he done so he wouldn’t have gone inside. He swung the door open, It looked like the customers inside were getting restless, that probably meant Julie wasn’t working and Stacey was here texting behind the counter. He looked to his left and saw Wallace Wells in the corner swooping in on some poor, probably straight, soul.

"I’m not gay!"

The poor boy confirmed his suspicions. It had been years since Wallace had done the same thing to him, though Paul adamantly denied it. Paul bypassed the shambling crowd moaning for coffee and headed straight for the cash register, he noticed that a few had even started gnawing on each other as he passed but paid no attention to it.

BANG!

He slapped his hands down on the counter “Stacey Pilgrim! Is Julie working?” Suddenly, a light bulb lit up above his head, he just now realized that it was Pain who greeted him outside. “Never mind, actually, I don’t care.” Paul turned around to hurry and catch up with Pain. He was greeted by the sight of zombie customers surrounding him and reaching their hands out at him groaning “Beeeans.”

“Oh #@&!” he cursed, a black rectangle appearing over his mouth.

A scream of denial emanated from the couch across the cafe. The noise of the cafe suddenly came to a halt. Everyone occupying the shop, including the zombies, stared over to Johnny. An awkward silence came over the cafe.

"Gays. Gays. Gays." The zombie horde turned their attention from the cashier and towards Paul and Wallace.

"WHAT?! Homophobic zombies!" Stacey started to shout out a warning to Wallace when Paul came and slapped his hands on the counter. "Julie works across the town at Third Cup today, duh." Seeing a lull in her work, Stacey stepped around the corner of the counter to get her phone. Oh how she loved these little breaks from work; so much so that she forgot all about warning Wallace about the homophobic zombies moving towards them.

New people moved in to the cafe, but honestly the crowd of zombies seemed less likely to ask for anything so they might be better customers. Stacey picked up her phone and witnessed the zombies break tables and chairs and create makeshift clubs out of them. Twelve zombies staggered towards the duo on the couch, bringing a look of horror to Stacey's face. "Oh my god." She said in shock. "Someone should be recording this." Her phone flipped out and a red light shined on from the camera. "Wallace!" She yelled. "Strike a pose for with your new friend."

"Wallace strike a pose with your new friend." Stacey yelled. Camera flashing its red light. Wallace smiled widley. Wrapping one arm over the guy next to him. A wide picture perfect grin all over his face.
+ 200 hotness points
The camera flashed brightly. All of the strange zombies without Wallaces notice. Staggered onward slowly. Moaning the same damn thing over and over. He flashed the man next to him a pearly white smile. Something about him Wallace liked, and what he liked he got. Just something awesome about him. A black sign pointed at Wallace. Inside it in white said "In flirting mode". "So what brings you to Toronto?" Thoughts of how to get this guy already running through his head. "I know my way around this city pretty good. I could show you around if you want guy?" At the end of his little tour would be his house, bed and you know the rest. This would be easy since the guy was red like a cherry.

"So what do you say guy?"

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw someone familiar. It was Paul. A guy he had the pleasure to met. In more ways than one of you get what that means. Apparently he knew the tall attractive man from the bar. "Guess all hot guys know each other" Wallace wondered. Attention only half on the man who he still had his arm wrapped around.

"gay gay gay" The zombies moaned drawing closer. Wallace sighed splashing one in its face. it falling over bursting into coins. A 100 in white rising from the coins. Along with a sound like when points are earned. Then Wallace returned to what he was doing.

Lance burst into the Coffee shop a perfect smile on his features as he flicked his perfect hair back and flashed pearly white teeth. He stood leaning against the door and winked at the ladies in the room before he strutted forward, the new guy wore clothes of obvious wealth and awesomeness well what else do you expect when money is power. He strutted up to the desk and slapped down a hundred and turned his perfect features to the Person behind. Mocha Espresso on the double he ordered before he spun around looking mega cool. A large sign appeared behind him flashing. "Cool rich dude."

Lance walked over to a booth and flicked out a hundred, A big man came up taking it and set a velvet rope on it and a disco ball came down and began to spin as music erupted from it and a Sign said VIP only. The Rich Teen sat back lifting up million dollar Albino alligator boots and flexed his 250,000 dollar gold ring with a Dollar sign inside a Dollar sign inside a dollar sign of diamonds. (+500 coolness).

It was like time had frozen. Almost as if the sad story of his life got the II button hit and he was left with wide eyes and a bright red face as the world stood still around him. Somewhere a coffee cup was spilt and the water hung motionless in the air, the brown liquid gaining sharp edges that didn’t seem all that possible. Meanwhile, a woman was holding out a hand for the people she was with while being dragged away from her friends. The Zombies froze in their place, their beanless shuffle something terrifying to behold.

And then the handsome guy put an arm around him, smiled and a picture was took. “Whaaa?” Was the only sound Johnny could make as the world elasticised back to normal speed. Well, okay, more than normal speed. The >> button seemed to be jammed, as the guy next to him said a bunch of funny high pitched noises. Johnny glanced away, spotting a dude getting surrounded and what look like a rich boy with about as much brain as a coffee bean.

When the weird effect stopped, Johnny grabbed a hold of the guys arm. “We need to get out of here. Zombies... Eat us... Don’t want to get eaten.” For some reason he felt out of breath, even though he had only been sitting with the guy. “But... But... I can’t fight...” Johnny whimpered, turning just as a zombie lunged straight for him...

”Gaaaaays...”

“I said I wasn’t gay! HELP ME GUY I’M ATTRACTED TO!”

Pain’s brow rose as Paul simply walked into the coffee shop without even looking his way. He quickly shrugged it off though, whatever, he’d come back, not like it mattered to anyway. Before he could reach the entrance some snobby looking punk stepped in front of him and rudely entered. He didn’t think much of it and entered briefly after. The place looked a little crowded, maybe it was a bad idea to come here. At first he didn’t notice anything and was oblivious to everything happening. He intended to ignore everyone and just order his coffee, but it was hard to ignore a group of zombies standing right in front of him.

It looked like Paul was in trouble, might as well help the guy out. Those freaks would have gone after him next anyway. “Yo punks.” The zombies turned their away from Paul to look to the rough voice calling them.

“Gays?” They all groaned out of sync as they chose to ignore Paul and began stumbling towards him instead.

Pain stepped forward, closing what little distance was left between them. The zombie in the middle of the group was obliterated in one powerful strike to its face causing a small amount of coins to burst from it and fall to the floor. K.O. +100 points. “I aint gay.” He brought his fist back to his side and chose not to assume a fighting stance. These guys looked easy. “I just wanted a damn coffee.” He said with a soft chuckle as he let a sly smirk come to his face. The zombie group was confused at first, startled to see their buddy knocked out so quickly and hesitated to lunge forward at the big man. These guys were way too weak and way too slow to even hope to keep up with him. Flurries of powerful punches were thrown from the big guy, and it only took one to knock out these punks. Each strike met the chins and chests of the small group of zombies, each of them bursting into coins just like their buddy. 5 HIT COMBO! K.O.! +1000 points

His icy blue eyes glared over to Paul, now standing before him with his arms resting lazily at his sides. “You alright punk?” He said calmly in his gruff voice as he nodded to the guy once again. Before the guy could answer some one shouted loudly across the shop. His eyes darted over to view even more homophobic zombies, and they were closing in on two guys. He stopped himself from chuckling at the man's claim, but he couldn't stop himself from smirking. Those punks could probably take care of themselves, he just wanted some damn coffee..