lets talk turkey

yay, thanksgiving was coming soon.   Jeannie was excited she just loved holidays especially ones with yummy snacks.  she really liked fall cause you had Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas all nice in a row.

while it was still while away Jeannie was already daydreaming about thanksgiving dinner, her mommy was a good cook and always made something great.   then her and daddy would start decorating for Christmas being a wacky scientist he always had some crazy over the top ideas.

while wondering though there house thinking about the holidays she came crossed her daddy he seemed quite interested in something one tv.

she pops up behind him to get a peek. hey daddy whatcha watching?

the old man is surprised by her sudden appearance, you'd think he'd be used to it by now.oh hello dear, really need to put a bell on you or something, always popping up, well it appears there is something of a turkey shortage.

Jeannie looked kinda confused well yeah it is thanksgiving soon that's why mommy's out shopping now if you go early to shop it's easier to get 'em, it seems too early for them to be running out now. even so, that doesn't seem like too big of news.

it's not the stores with the problems it's farmers themselves, seems their turkeys are disappearing right off the farm.  

Jeannie's eyes light up with excitement sound like a mystery huh a turkey napper? how odd, think it's spacemen? they usually take cows.

could be they wanted to try something different maybe trying to figure out earth costumes, course the news just won't come out and say it's little green men but someone should look into it. can't let them go abducting and probing whatever they want,

Jeannie hopes up excited I'll have to get the turkeys back and save thanksgiving!

well I guess you could say that I was thinking it would be a nice opportunity to get information on posable extraterrestrial activity,  

: oh yeah that to gots to hurry want be back in time for dinner,

you know it's still days tell thanksgiving right dear, you should be back with plenty of time, still starting your investigation as soon as you can is a good idea, aliens are trick and zoom back into space once they know your on to them.

right no time to waste them, say bye to mommy for me Jeannie push a button next to the couch, and a bookshelf slides open she slides down a pole inside it.

meanwhile, her daddy pushes another button, and the tv changes channels from the news to teddy bears in lab coats, one looks over to the screen he tells it to get the helicopter ready and pack the ufo investigating gear.   the bears nod his head then turns to instruct the other bears.

Jeannie pops out of the tunnel into the room with the bears, one of the bears hands her a GPS that ha where the news reports came from marked,  minutes later Jeannie took off leaving London and heading for America's  farmland spots  where the turkey disappearance where reported

"Whaddya mean you have NO turkeys!?" DANGER DAN! shouted at the befuddled Farmer Brown. "How does a turkey farm not have any turkeys! That's just dumb and you're holding out on me old man." "Bu-but sir I--". "That's SUPERVILLAIN to you, you dolt!" Farmer Brown shrunk into himself even more, subconsciously hoping that if he got small enough that the yellow-suited villain would leave him alone. "I'm telling the tr-truth, strange people keep coming in the middle of the night and nabbin' my turks. It's aliens I tell you." Dan lightly slapped the farmer for his excuses. "Everyone knows aliens steal only cows, why would they steal turkeys?" "I...I don't know, I'm just a farmer without my flock!"

To say this was an outrage would be an understatement. A sheer look of disappointment overcame Dan as he realized his DANGEROUS DEED! for ruining Thanksgiving might already be foiled before it could ever begin. It was a good plan too, a truly villainous one. He would have unleashed a monstrous horde and angry turkeys to run around and cause havoc during the famous Thanksgiving Parade in New York City. While all the heroes run around grabbing turkeys, Dan would destroy the various floats with a gravy-filled firetruck. Unfortunately, with no turkeys, it just wouldn't be the same. With disappointment turning into rage THE DUKE OF DANGER! turned back to the dolt farmer.

"Very well! These "aliens" have forced my DANGEROUS WRATH! I, DANGER DAN! will deal with these pesky thieves and get back those turkeys!"

A look of hope and relief passed through Farmer Brown "Oh you- you will?! Thank you, you are a true hero!" He would have gone further into praise but was abruptly slapped with a yellowed-glove. "SUPERVILLAIN YOU FOOL! Now you shall give me your home and your farm until I destroy them." Brown slowly nodded why rubbing his red cheek. "I will also need your clothes!" DANGEROUS DANIEL! said. "What! Bu-why?" "Because if they see my then they will see how truly DANGEROUS I am and run away before I catch them." Farmer Brown sighed as he began taking off his jacket.

Soon, yes, very soon those pesky kids will pay for defying him because really, there was no way this was actually aliens. Probably some snotnose punks cow-tipping turkeys or something. Whatever the case he resigned himself to setting up a steakhouse in Farmer Brown's house in his clever disguise and ambush whoever is stealing his turkeys.

so Jeannie had arrived at the turkey farm to investigate.  she had never been to a turkey farm before but she assumed one would see the turkeys there.

yup missing turkeys alright let's see daddy said this doohickey would beep if there was radiation from the spaceships

she walks around the farm following the beep. huh let's see yeah definitely something here, or was here. huh, maybe I should ask the farmer if he saw anything.

she hears some voices and sees two men talking they must be the farmers

she goes over to talk to them

As she approaches the two men she comes across a very...unique scene. Standing before her is an old, fat, balding man currently in the middle of undressing himself looking miserable. At the moment, he is currently down to his socks, boxers, and wife-beater. The other man is clad in a yellow hazmat suit and looks to be in the process of putting on some overalls that are at least 5 sizes too big for him. They both stop and fumble around for a moment when they see the girl next to them.

An awkward pause settled in before DANGER DAN! spoke. "What do you want kid? We're kinda...in the middle of something." As DANGER DAN! spoke the farmer tried to sheepishly pick up some of his discarded clothing to cover himself but was stopped as Dan ripped it from his hands. "So....You wouldn't be one of those cow-tipping punks stealing turkeys would you?"

Dan really hoped this kid wouldn't run off and tell the police about what she might think she's been seeing. The last thing he needed now was to be sued for some sort of public indecency or sexual harassment. While he may be the most DANGEROUS of villains ever, he was still a gentleman when it came to the ladies.

huh, Jeannie was kinda confused why was one guy in a hazmat suit was he like spraying for bugs or something? then why was the other guy in his underwear, that didn't seem to work appropriately.

trying not to laugh a the odd farms she wonders how to respond. no Jeannie is too small to tip a cow there big and heavy, I'm here to investigate the space aliens taking the turkeys. what punks are you talking about? punk spacemen?

she then gets an idea about the odd man in the suithey are you a spaceman?
you have a funny suit, eww gross is the thinking your in the middle of probing the poor farmer! Jeannie covers her eyes not wanting to see that

"Wait, what."

Dan sputtered as the girl looked away. This is just what he needed, some teen girl running to tell all her friends about him doing it with some fat farmer.

"No! No....I'm...I'm not probing him, I'm just taking his clothes as part of my elaborate plan to catch these "aliens"."

Decided it would be best to change the topic quickly Dan fastened his suspenders and looked back at the teen.

"You say you're after those aliens too? Well, looks like we are after the same people. Personally, I don't think it's actually aliens, but those hooligans are ruining my DANGEROUS DEEDS! with their turkey theft."

He chose this moment to wander closer to the girl while adjusting his too-small straw hat. He would have also put some straw in his mouth to complete the look but...mask.

"So what have you found so far about those hooligans also, your name is Jeannie? Mine is DANGER DAN!, you gotta say it with the exclamation point else it's wrong."

oh I see a stakeout you're going to disguise as the farmer waits for them, good plan. I want to play dress-up too!

she goes back to her car and hops in the truck. she then pops back out wearing a farm girl costume.

I'll be the farmer's daughter then! huh well, mister DANGER DAN! I think they could look like this or this

she holds up a picture of a typical green and grey alien. need more data to determine the exact type. I also think this guy could have a motive to be a prime suspect

she shows him a picture of Marvin the Martian from loony toons.he is the arch-enemy of duck doggers so targeting birds makes sense

Dan was thankful that he was wearing his mask, as when Jeannie showed him a photo of a cartoon character he looked disappointed. He had hoped she would have some sort of actual lead instead of just...Looney Tunes. In any case, he could use her as bait for his ambush.

Nodding his head and Hmphing he pointed at the photo.

"Yes, I agree. This does seem like the work of those maniacal Martians and their machinations. Although this picture seems old, so there is a good chance they may have changed their appearance to keep with more modern times."

He took a moment to make a show of him stroking the spot on his mask where his beard would be (if he had one).

"Well, let's head on inside the farmhouse and get set up. I'm sure Farmer Brown has an extra set of overalls you can use."

Dan looked at the half-naked farmer who just looked miserable.

"I have a feeling they will strike once the sun goes down so we got a few hours or so."

oh yeah that would be pretty clever of them. and most ufo sightings are at night so that seem like good time for them to come.

she bounces around excited at the idea of seeing space men.

so mister DANGER DAN what do we do to get ready? build a trap maybe? wonder what kinda trap one builds for alien

she notices the farmer, we should get him some clothes a silly naked guy wondering about might make them suspicious.

"It's DANGER DAN!, you gotta say it with the exclamation point else you're wrong."

He slowly shook his head as he reprimanded the teenager. If he had known the number of times he was going to have to correct people on the pronunciation of his villain name, he would have thought of something easier, but alas, he has already legally trademarked the name as part of his brand of terror and villainy.

"Oh, don't worry about the farmer, he's going to be staying with relatives the next few days for the holidays anyway."

"I am?" Farmer Brown said with a surprised look. He looked like he was about to object but Dan glared at him, which was rather impressive given that he was wearing a full face-concealing mask. "I am..." Farmer Brown said dejectedly.

"In fact, aren't you running late? You better hurry if you want to be there in time for dinner!" Dan gave a 'friendly' push to the farmer sending him hobbling off to his rickety pickup truck, still only in his underwear.

Clapping his hands Dan turned back to the teen. "Right, so what we should do is set a decoy turkey up as bait to lure in the enigmatic extraterrestrials. Maybe hide some sort of glue bomb or net launcher, or even something like a pit. There are a few trees nearby so we can put some cameras in them to cover areas we won't see from the farmhouse...Going to be honest here, not sure what to do if the UFO just uses some sort of tractor beam and steals the decoy. I can't exactly fly myself here."

He paused to let his masterful plan sink in.

"Thoughts?"

Jeannie waves goodbye to the farmer as he left kinda confused why he didn't take pants with him.

she then listens excitedly to DANGER DAN!'s plans. yay that sounds fun we can make all kinds of traps, oh I got a helicopter we could fly in. so what should we build first? huh well, probably the decoy cause then we'd put the traps around it. now, where do we get fake turkeys from?

Dan stood there in a moment of stunned disbelief. This ditzy teenager not only had a helicopter but could also fly one apparently. Was she actually immortal and just could never grow past the adolescent age? Robot maybe? Regardless, they now had some sort of way to get to the ship if it was mid-flight. Whether it could keep up with it was another thing entirely.

"Yes! Excellent! A helicopter will be perfect for my--our plans." Dan proceeded to rub his hands together villainously. He wasn't sure why villains actually did this but if he wanted to be the best villain ever...

As he was basking in his sheer evilness, the farmer's dog, a Great Dane, walked out of the barn and looked at them curiously. It went up to Jeanie wagging its tail and expected nothing less than a head-pat.

"Oh, a dog...that'll do for our decoy. We just gotta glue some feathers on him and a deflated red balloon to his muzzle."

Jeannie smiles and pets the doggy aww your cute mister puppy! huh woof woof

Jeannie and the doggy have a conversation in puppy talk huh he says he'd like to help but not sure about getting turned into a turkey sounds painful getting feathered. oh I know we can make you a turkey costume to wear instead of ouchy glue

the dog barks liking Jeannie's less painful plan.  she takes the feathers and makes a doggy sweater  for the dog she then takes the ballon and some more feathers and glues them to a motorcycle helmet she found lying around making a turkey helmet of sorts

yeah, that's better than sticking it on your little nosy huh? plus it'll keep you safe.
the dog makes a sighing sound, oh sorry let's fix that. she cuts some holes for the dog's ears to stick out of the helmet.

the doggy is happy with the improvements then leads Jeannie to a box of doggy treats.
oh, right you need a scooby snack to be brave and help catch the monster.

she gives him a treat, the doggy eats it up, and then sets by Jeannie waiting for them to need him.

ok now let's build the traps!

"Yes! The evilest and cunning of traps!"

With that, he looked around the farmer's barn and tool shed. He hummed and hummed as he glanced over the various farm equipment.

"Pitchforks....chicken-wire...an old combine....a body....wait body?"

He did a double-take and it was just a mangled scarecrow. He swiped his forehead or rather his mask thinking he just dodged a bullet. If Farmer Brown turned out to be some sort of serial killer then this comic could no longer be PG and that would hurt sales...Which is terrible.

Going back to the tools at his disposal he hmmed some more, giving the occasional glance to the ditz. Eventually, he nodded with satisfaction and rested his hands on his hips striking villain pose #88, a look of confidence in crushing the hero.

"Yep, I have no idea what I am doing!"

Kevin from Home Alone made this look easy but DANGER DAN! had nothing.

Pulling out his DANGEROUS SMARTPHONE he googled 'How to make a trap for aliens'. Surprisingly there were loads of videos on the matter. Most of them were from either crazy cooks or cringe teenagers trying to clickbait but there were a few videos that went complete crap. After watching a few videos he went to work turning the scarecrow into a manure bomb. Looks like he was going to be putting up with shit today.

Jeannie goes about making all kinds of traps sticking wires and nets all about.

huh vegetable are icky so we can use them to get the space guys

she builds a catapult to launch corn, a tomato tosser, and a bean blaster.

oh right we need the science stuff to

she hooks up cameras, sensor, and microphones to detect the space guys