RELICS OF DANGER'S PAST

Peeking out the red velvet curtains Dan barely kept his excitement in. In recent weeks his career in villainy has hit a slump, a dead end and he just couldn't seem to shake it no matter what his clever mind tried to think about. His last deed certainly struct fear and terror into the hearts of New York's people as they sat by in dawning horror as the very traffic control tormented them. It was all too easy, surprisingly so, to tamper with the majority of the city's traffic signals turning them against the public. Many villains would simply shut off the power of the city and let chaos reign but DANGER DAN! was far more sinister. Red lights lasted several minutes while green lights came and went in mere seconds allowing only the lucky few to escape his trap. People going about their day were forced to sit in agony as they missed their precious appointments and potential job tardiness. All in all it took city hall 18 hours to fix his most evil trap. That was a good day and nothing could possibly hope to top it until now.

The Museum of Multicultural History was far from the biggest museum but certainly not quaint with it's main attraction being the display of rare and wondrous artifacts from times long ago. Occasionally there would be some mystical relic of untold power that only a more magically inclined villain would try to steal only to realize such a powerful relic had beefed up security. Dan would be baffled if there was even more than a handful of guards for tonight's exhibit. After all, who the hell cares about cursed items? It seemed obvious to everyone that something publicly known to be cursed had little value or reason to steal...or at least Dan hoped everyone thought that way. Seriously though, who cares about some old clay pot that makes anything poured into it taste like piss? Why that curse even exists is beyond him. Anyways, while the relics may not be worth anything it still sends a message if Dan was able to steal them. Nothing poses a danger to DANGER DAN! most certainly not some hunk of magic bronze.

Counting down the timer Dan exploded out of the curtains while the various cheap speakers he set up loudly boomed thunder and lightning. "Quake and treeeeemble New York for your monotonous life has just become DANGEROUS, for I, DANGER DAN! have come! Your prized ancestry is nothing more than toys for my amusement! Watch as I deface your forefathers before you as I commit my latest DANGEROUS DEED!

People shouted and screamed, running about looking for the nearest exit or cover as they were momentarily disoriented by the loud sound effects. Luckily no one saw Dan almost lose it as the 95 year old granny pushed her grand kid aside and legged it as fast as one would expect a 95 year old with a crutcher to go...Not very fast. A security guard whipped out a pistol and fired in rapid succession. "Fool, mere bullets cannot harm me, I am invincible! Run before you further incur my wrath!" Activated his second audio recording the speakers blared out "BEGONE!" sending the 3 security guards running.

With the security dealt with Dan moved quickly with a massive burlap sack checking the various descriptions and throwing the cool sounding ones inside with less than gentle care. Everything seemed to be going all according to plan and Dan couldn't possibly see himself losing. After all, who in the right mind cares about this junk?

"He just destroyed a pot." Stalking from invisibility, Abby and her fiery hair and remained as safe as Danny would allow her to get in this situation. "It probably made anything poured into taste terrible, but it did look expensive."

"Thanks for the update." The movement of the crowd made going through the front door difficult for Danny. But, difficulty always bred some ingenuity. Her sneakers stepped across the roof of the building, heading towards a skylight, wearing her cheerleader jacket and a pair of dark blue jeans. "They're always so loud about this."

"I don't think he has hostages." A much closer look to Dan came from Tsukimi Sanada, partially hidden behind a pillar with her self defense cane snapping into place. Not fit for combat per se, Tsukimi dressed for the occasion in a pleated black skirt and a black vest over a white long sleeve shirt, but the defense cane really made the outfit. "I'm going in."

"Wait, Suzy!" Danny tried one last- but futile- attempt to call to Tsukimi through the communicator to coordinate the attack. "We can go together."

"We can finish together." Tsukimi clicked a button on her staff to send a jolt of electricity through the staff. Tsukimi would try to strike at Dan as quickly as she could, hoping to take advantage of the bulky bag in his hands, then following up with his head.

"Suzy! Crap!" Danny picked up her pace towards the skylight, arriving, and looking down. No action. No Tsukimi. No jerk face. "Next one. Abby, go help!" Danny started to run towards the next skylight.

"Uh. Okay." Abby started to make her way from the pillar, still invisible, but her choice of shoes squeaked the entire way along the linoleum floor. She tried moving with some caution. Not necessarily out of subterfuge, but partially because she did not know what she would do when she got there.

Humming a upbeat tune Dan went about the floor glancing at the various displays like a kid in a candy store. "Hmm let's see here, Magnifying glass that makes your eyes bigger than actually zooming in, Gloves that make you fumble everything, Shoes of Unending Dance...Man some of these items can't even be 50 years old. Ancient relics, yeah right."

Deep in thought as he was he failed to hear the sizzling of electricity before it hit his bag holding hand. Normally such a blow would break all the bones in someone's hand but Dan was no normal person. He would of dropped the bag in surprise but ironically the electric surge forced his hand closed. Before he was able to get his bearing a staff hit him right in the face making a loud thud.

The sudden staff in his face was jarring but years of bullying and school fights desensitized him and ingrained numerous reflexive responses. If you get jumped then you start swinging harder than they expected. Going with the blow Dan pivoted on the balls of his feet and in one swooping motion landed a most dangerous of slaps right across his attacks face. While he may not be able to bench press a bus nor break the sound barrier his indestructibility enabled Dan to push far beyond the normal bodily limits. With no fear of tearing muscle and ligaments he poured every ounce of his strength into it turning a mere painful slap into a hay maker sending his opponent toppling to the floor.

"What the? You're not a hero, you're just some school girl! What are you thinking? I'm a super villain! You should of ran in terror you fool." Not wanting the dazed girl to accidentally roll onto her still electrified staff he kicked it away. He may be a villain but he didn't want to have someone's heart stop on them. Looking around the room he saw no more would be heroes and went back to collecting his prizes in a slightly soured mood.

"How many stupid skylights does this museum have?" Danny peered down, seeing a mammoth skeleton. "I'm just going to take the stairs down."

Her hand gravitated towards her bracelet, creating a turquoise beam to break through the skylight, heading towards the ground of the second floor. A number of stairs would spiral out from the beam, giving Danny second floor access. "Sounds like some trouble downstairs." Danny turned her head to try and find a sign. "If I were a staircase..."

Tsukimi fell to the ground. Her first strike set up her second perfectly. Like absolutely perfect. And, then her follow up went off without a hitch. Under not circumstance should the tables have turned on Tsukimi, but she still sat on the ground, dazed- and very confused. "Nope."

The villain kicked her cane away, but not Tsukimi's sense of justice. And, the long arm of her justice could still reach her cane. "One more time. You won't get lucky this time!" A little wobbly on her feet, but holding her cane, Tsukimi did a good job of announcing her presence before swinging in the general direction of Dan, but with less impressive striking this time.

Now this is just unfair. Dan was a super villain not just some thug. He didn't get his kicks out of beating up people like some of the more crazy villains. He got into the game to fight heroes and this wobbly ditz seems to have a death wish. He can't simply let her wail on him nor can he try to talk her out of it. He is a villain after all, compassion isn't an option. No, the best he could do was knocking her out as quickly as possible and hope he doesn't leave anything permanent.

It's surprising how many people expect a sort of dance during a brawl. One leads in with measured footsteps and swings while the other coordinates with equal back footing and a block followed by a counter. Going against the usual rhythm of combat is like forgetting the choreography so when must people see a cane coming right at them the natural move is to dodge. Well, Dan was never a good dancer and he lived to annoy people. With a grunt he charged right into the blow taking it on the shoulder as he tackled the school girl to the ground. The brief shock only tensing his body for a second. Pinning her to the ground he swatted the cane out of her grip and rained down a half dozen blows stopping when she went limp from unconsciousness.

Standing up he loomed over her watching to see if there were going to be any last minute burst of that 'heroic resolve' that a lot of heroes seemed to have. He winced seeing purple bruising starting on her face but it was unavoidable. She had to know how dangerous trying to play hero is and if he could show her before she went against one of the most deranged villains he would live with it. Deciding to grab the cane in case she or anyone else snuck up on him he looked around the now eerily quite room. With a sigh he went back to his robbery with a dour mood.

"If the elevator is going to be out of service, they could at least have proper signs for where the stairs are." Danny put her finger to her earring, triggering the speaking device. "Suzy, any luck?"


The sound of combat rang out. Tsukimi dodged the first blow, blocked the second, parried the third and fourth from her back, kicked the fifth away, punched his wrist on the sixth, but upon taking her head back to the ground, knocked herself too hard on the way back down. Radio silence. Save for Danny's voice coming from Tsukimi's earring.


"Okay. No luck for Suzy." Danny took her hand down and started towards a sign showing a stick figure descending down squiggly lines. "That better not be modern art."

The sign did not lie! Danny found a fully functional set of stairs bidding her a welcome descent towards the first floor- and a commotion of pottery shaking, breaking, and misplacing. Not wanting immediate attention, Danny kept herself pressed against the wall to try and survey the man in the suit. Beginning to form a crossbow out of the turquoise constructs.

"Pearl Necklace of sore throat...Blanket of itchiness...A pair of plaid socks...Ok, what the hell? This entire section sucks! What kind of lame sorcerer makes such shitty items? I'm not even sure if the sucks are even cursed but they are a crime against humanity. Where is the REAL artifacts of power? I don't need any of this pointless crap museum."

Dan kicked over a bust of some alien looking thing shattering it on the ground. Today has been just awful. First his football team lost losing him $50 then the store was out of his usual coffee mix and now this deed he prepped for for over a week is a bust. No one, hero, villain or collector cares about these cheap tricks. He can't even have the satisfaction of beating up a hero. All he got was some deranged girl with a death wish. With another frustrated grunt he threw a canopic jar at the wall sending shards everywhere and a strange reddish ankh scattering on the ground.

Looking at the podium the jar once sat on Dan was confused. All the plaque said was ancient jar dating back 30,000 years origin unknown. No info on the ankh however. Curiosity replaced his frustration as he strode towards the weird red ankh.

"Hey jerk!" A massive turquoise constructed bolt would fly from Danny, seeking to impact into Dan with a semi circled head. If it hit, it would continue in its trajectory and try to pin him to the wall. "Leave my friends alone! And stop messing up the place! That stuff is priceless!"

With Tsukimi on the ground, Danny shifted to protection status. A turquoise shield would generate to create a barrier between her form and the villain, forcing him to choose between beating a wall and fighting Danny. A Danny prepared to unleash a storm of turquoise.

"Hey Danny." Tsukimi gave a small thumbs up. "He does stuff. Watch out."

"Like what?" An eyebrow rose from Danny as quickly as the shield did.

"I uh- don't actually know." Tsukimi's head slowly turned, but she remained firmly planted on the ground. "Just be careful."

A javelin appeared in Danny's hand. "Eh, it's an option."

As Dan turned towards yet another interruption all he managed to say was "What is it th-" Before a turquoise dart, bolt, fat arrow thing slammed right into his chest. It didn't hurt so much as it just knocked him into a wall but he still took a moment to regain his bearing and more importantly his breath.

Looking up at his attacker filled him with joy and anticipation. There she stood some type of javelin in one hand and conjuring a force field on a helpless citizen! The image would be perfect if she had a cape!

"Who dares to think they can stop the unstoppable that is DANGER DAN!? Foolish hero, you've only come to meet your certain doom!" Dan cracks his knuckles or well tries through the rubber gloves he's wearing. "Tell me your name hero, so that I may tell the world the end of your story." Dan really hoped she would give a give a heroic speech and maybe a one liner. The news always talked about that stuff.

Finally things were looking to be a good day. He gets to fight a hero, steal some stuff, and probably get in the newspaper! Nothing could possibly go wrong!

"You're name is Danger Dan?" If not for Tsukimi on the otherside of the room under the effects of a concussion, Danny would probably laugh right at this guy. "So, Danger is your first name? Well, I'm going to put some danger in the middle of you." A turquoise bola would fly from her hand to try and snare DANGER DAN in place.

If she could disable his ability to move, Danny could land a blow to his chest with a large turquoise hammer. Once her hammer made impact, Danny would follow up by creating a turquoise wall in front of her to block any counterattacks coming back to her. "I'm Danny "Danger" Tamamoa. You can call me Sphinx, but not a lot of people do. Hardly anyone does. No one will know who you are talking about."

The barrier would let go after taking a few blows, followed up by a hammer strike from Danny towards DANGER DAN. "But, everyone knows Danny. You definitely won't be forgetting me."

"The names DANGER DAN! ACTU-"

Dan dove to the right as the blue bola whizzed over his head. It wasn't so much that he feared two weights attacked via string. He was after all indestructible, nothing could harm him. However he was not invincible. Besides his insane durability he was just a normal man and he didn't like his odds of breaking out of weird magical snares.

Quickly standing back up he pointed a accusing finger at Sphinx

"Rude! Its tradition to finish your monologue BEFORE attacking! Your underhanded tricks will not work on me! Also it's DANGER DAN! You gotta say it like that or it's wrong and YOU are not Danger! I've copyrighted the name already!

He would of continued his tirade over her not respecting the cape traditions and stealing his name but it was obvious she didn't care in the slightest as she came to him with a hammer.

Grabbing a mug of thirst from a nearby display he threw it at her...Menacingly.