You Cannot Write a Thread About Threads! (Kubi)

Every tremble during the night always spoke of something troubling and dire. They whispered doom. Spoke of malevolence. Screamed of ill kismet. You will end. It echoed through the front of the store, rang through the halls, and permeated through the door of the guestroom Bliss currently occupied.

Bliss slept in her socks because she did not care what you thought about her sleeping in socks. They brushed the ground until they found a pair of bunny slippers. Your end is promised. You will face your death screaming. The crust from Bliss' eyes fell to the ground, or wherever sleep goes from your eye when you rub your eye, as Bliss stepped out from the guestroom, clumsily stepping down the stairs.

Your soul will burn! The screams poured through the woodwork of the wall, turning acoustics into a symphony of terror. Bliss yawned deep as it turned into a sigh. Your hope is death! Nothing will remain of your fate. The corner of one of the displays caught Bliss' toe. The bunny took most of the impact, but Bliss still grabbed her toe as she spun around, keeping her pace towards the basement.

When your faith is finally flayed from your-

"HEY!" Bliss pulled the door to the basement open, yelling down to the depths of the basement. "What bills are you guys paying, so you would think it is okay to be yelling at three in the morning!"

A hushed silence hung in the air.

...Sorry...

...We'll be more quiet...

"Damn right you'll be quiet. Some of us have to work." Bliss slammed the door and walked back to the stairwell.

~~~~~Hours later~~~~~~~

Bliss snapped the top button on her jeans as she walked down the stairs. Her face still hung with sleep even after the three hours Bliss allowed herself to catch up on. Store did not get busy until eleven AM anyways. Staying up with sweater weather into March made Bliss feel less bad about New York. It smelled bad. The attitudes sometimes could be better. The city was destroyed by an alien ship. And, the hot dogs were too expensive for not enough taste. "Did you guys make money, or are you just pissing away the brilliance of my- holy shit."

"We don't know why Nancy is a demon-" Mitsuko tied Nancy's hand to a mannequin with a sweater while Erica tied her other hand to a fellow mannequin with a belt. "But, we've got this under some control."

Mistuko looked quiet fashionable in a yellow sweater with a black pleated skirt with her hair pulled back into a braid framing a thick pair of glasses.  Erica wore a red button down with a pair of skinny jeans and brown boots with her hair flowing down to her shoulders. Nancy looked nice in a green shirt and white skirt. Her hair brushed against the back of her back, masking the fangs and red eyes currently playing out in her possession.

Bliss felt the bags under her eyes drop lower than her expectations. "I should have slept four hours."

”Huh. This should do.”

He had an interview! Not for a job, nah, screw that noise. Somebody wanted to make a biopic about his life. And about damn time, too. His story was hell of inspiring, if you asked him. Of course he thought the sun shines out of his pores, though. He’s not exactly an impartial judge. Problem was, it was for the afternoon of that day and all his clothes were Japan. Kubi sighed at the suitcase in his hand. The small shit was annoying, like having to live out of a suitcase. Having a closet was a luxury he didn’t think he’d ever miss … Kubi shrugged away the malaise. Nothing he could do about it now. Shit. He was just getting down because the search for his wife’s killer was getting him nowhere. He had to go … buy him something that could be worn in an office. His stained T-shirt just wasn’t cutting it.

The door jingled as he opened it and Kubi could tell by one look that this … wasn’t exactly his kind of place. These were, like, fashion fashions, something you’d find on the runway, not on, well, him. He felt conspicuously out of place, like a bull in a china shop. Everything was so dainty. The mountain of a man picked his way among the counters and displays, looking for a store employee. He was already here, may as well see if they *did* carry his size. The store wasn’t large, so it wasn’t long before he found … two girls tying up a third. Right. This is the shit he has dreams about. Kubi couldn’t help the smirk spread across his face. Oh, this was too good.

”Don’ forget the bow. Y’ can’t wrap a holy shit does she have fuckin’ fangs?”

He had noticed immediately the pretty girls - two of ‘em Japanese, hell yeah - but had failed to notice that the fourth had freakin’ fangs! And red eyes! He’s seen enough movies to notice demonic possession. He wasn’t a priest, and he didn’t have shit to do with magic or … divine intervention, or whatever the hell this is. But shit, this was cool! The grin only grew larger. But damn, he was glad he came into this store.

”Right, so, what the fuck, who the fuck, and, just, the fuck is goin’ on?”

Three rows of cabinets lined the side of the store near the dressing room. An assortment of early spring sweaters in bright colors all rested upon tiers of staggered wire shelves, separating the fabrics. The opposing side racks held the assortment of pants ranging from slacks to khakis, all perfectly pressed, with the exception of a few knocked over racks from when Nancy tried to bite Erica's arm.

"Welcome to Mitsy's!" Mitsuko turned her head around to speak towards the door. "We'll be right with you, sir-"

"Oh my god!" Erica looked over Mitsuko's shoulder, her already large brown eyes growing larger. "I think I know what he would look good it!"

"I will rend the flesh from your bone, maggot!" Nancy tried to pull free from the bonds around her wrists, shaking her head until it began to spin around.

"Mitsy, can get your employees under control?" Bliss stepped off the stairs and started to make her way back towards the supply room. "Thank you."

"I think in college Nancy did this once-"

"Mitsy, I've never been to Japan and am also not that culturally sensitive, but I know Nancy did not get possessed when you guys lived in Japan." The door to the backroom opened with Bliss disappearing behind it.

"Erica, can you help-"

"On it." Pulling her dark hair into a ponytail, Erica pushed her glass over her eyes, pushing their wideness under the glass while pulling out the slant at the edge of her eyes. "You look like a winter, but I think we can find some Spring colors to really pull out the color in your cheeks."

Nancy lifted her head, keeping the blonde highlights in her black hair covering her face. "I will devour your-"

Mitsuko found a scarf with enough stretch to it to properly tie around Nancy's mouth. It might seem uncouth to do such an act to a college roommate and childhood friend, but Mitsuko just told herself it was the demon she was gagging. "I got it under control Bliss!"

The doors swung open again as Bliss stepped out with a cup of coffee. "Oh great Mitsy. If we get some leather clothes and maybe some whips, I'm sure this will be a great selling point."

Erica stretched measuring tape across Kubi's chest, taking in his exact measurements. "We have a light suit that would look great on you, unless you are wanting to go a little lighter with a cardigan and some khakis."

”Wait, shit? Ya’ll gonna have my size? I’m kinda bigger ‘n’ yer normal clients, ain’t I?

He was momentarily distracted from the absolutely fantastic site of the black-haired clerk possessed by a violent and foul-mouthed demon to the even more miraculous sight of a store actually carrying his size. Going shopping is about as fun as looking for the needle in the haystack, except the needle doesn’t exist and the haystack is full of disappointment. From what he was hearing, not only did she have clothes that fit him, he actually had options! That never happens.

”Er … tell y’ what, give me everythin’ y’ got. I need clothes, y’know? Been livin’ on the road fer a while. Do y’all need help with that? I could get some chains, or, y’know, a fuckin’ streetlamp. She seems feisty.”

In any other situation, he’d make some kind of sexual remark. Pretty girls tying each other down scarves and ties? That shit’s comedy gold. But this shit was just surreal. The freakiest part were the other employees. One was casually chatting, one looked like she just woke up, and the other was freaking measuring him! Was this shit normal for them? Kubi just shook his head, brown hair cascading out from under the beanie he was wearing. It had gotten a little long in the last months. And he could probably use a shave, but he figured, what’s the use? Yeah, some ladies like the clean-shaven look, but others didn’t, but the who the hell was he trying to impress? He couldn’t really care much about the clothes right now anyway. He sensed adventure on the horizon.

”Right, so, I’ma introduce m’self ‘for we’re cursed t’ eternal torment by a fuckin’ college kid.” He cleared his throat with a grin. ”Kubi Tsuru. Some assholes call m’ Titan. I got powers. If y’ need something punched, kicked, or otherwise hurt ‘n anyway, yer lookin’ at the right guy. Pleasure to meetcha.” He winked at Bliss this time. It was mildly flirtatious, sure, but mostly it was arrogant. He was definitely full of himself. ”Oh, ‘n I was born in Hokkaido, so.”

"No chains required. I think she's simmering down all things considered." Erica held a pair of pants in front of Kubi's waist. "This might be a little snug, but I think snug would look good. Do you have problems losing blood circulation in your legs?"

"Looks-" A young woman with a red ponytail threw a blanket over Nancy's head. "Better."

"Oh, yeah that's much better." Bliss took a sip of her coffee. "The blanket really brings the 'we're not hiding a demon in the middle of our shoppe' motif together."

"Don't worry." With some streamers and a bell in her hand, Mitsuko began to toss the streamers over the blanket while her assistant added some glitter. "Summer and I are on the same wave length."

"Oh good, now the stupid plan is decorative."

"Hokkaido? It's cold there right? Mitsy's from Okinawa. I'm from Hong Kong." Erica tossed a sweater over his shoulder. "I think Nancy is from Osaka, or something like that. Hey Nancy! Where are you from?"

"MRRGGGGLLLRLGRAARR!" The shimmering blanket thrashed violently in the middle of the store.

"Oops, forgot about that." Erica turned her attention back to Kubi as she felt the tightness between his arm and chest for a better read. "She's not normally like that."

”Right, that shit just … ain’ gonna work. It ain’ Christmas, y’ can’ be decoratin’ random shit in the middle of the store. Why don’ y’ move her to th’ back? I ain’ a fan, t’ be honest.” His tone remained casual as if discussing the weather; among superstrong metademons, people with the ability to control the very fabric of time and space, and the movie someone wanted to make about him, he was used to the weird by now. A demon possession was just normal shit by now. The church has been dealing with that shit for centuries. But this chick trying to put him in tight pants? Nah, he liked the breathing room. It’s why he wore boxers. Oh, he should mention that.

”For th’ record, I ain’ doin’ no skinny ass undies, I need boxers or nothin’. Okinawa, y’say?” He looked with interest at Bliss. ”Mmhm. Definitely see some Okinawa in y’.” Despite the judgemental tone, his eyes were glinting with mischief and he wore a sarcastic smirk. He was just fucking with her. ”But for real, it’s fuckin’ freezin’ in Hokkaido sometimes, y’know? Snow fuckin’ feet thick, icicles that could spear’n elephant. It’s fuckin’ crazy.” He shook his head sadly; he did not miss those winters. The people he spent them with, sure, but the actual winters? No way in a frozen hell. It really sucked when you were homeless.

”Now, what I’m really lookin’ fer is a bunch shit that’s, like, classy, but like, understated and casual, too y’know what I mean? Shit I can wear t’ a ball or, fuckin’ … election or some shit, but won’ look like a complete fuckin’ tool if I’m see wearin’ it on the streets. Y’girls do custom shit, right?” He was talking business again. Shit, he might as well check everything off his clothes shopping list. ”D’ya girls do supersuits? ‘Cause I c’n use a supersuit. Something dramatic. No fuckin’ mask, though. I jus’ wan’ somethin’ I don’ hafta replace everytime I get inta fight.” He was grinning now; but even through his levity he kept a suspicious eye on Nancy. He’s fought creepy shit before, but never a demon. Better safe than sorry.

"Supersuits?" Erica waved over to Mitsuko. "Mitsy, do we have any supersuits for men?"

"Supersuits are in the back-" Most of Mitsuko's attention went to fighting to keep the blanket over Nancy, but she did manage to half pay attention to a quarter of what was said. "In a case."

"I'll be right back." Erica started to skitter back past Mitsuko.

"Red case, Erica." Forsaking the plan of subtle containment, Mitsuko just started wrapping the blanket up with fabric to keep Nancy in a more controlled space.

"Red case. Got it!" The door to the backroom opened. A cool breeze escaped the back, pilfering in like a release of sudden pressure. It fogged over Erica's glasses, ran up Bliss' neck, and almost made Mitsuko pay attention to something other than Nancy.

"Are we blasting the AC? For a room no one is in?" No one around Bliss actually cared about what she said, mainly because she did not actually say it to anyone. But, the point remained. Bliss let her eyes veer over to initiate the fact she would be investigating the room soon.

Before Bliss could begin her managerial search, Erica pushed herself out of the backroom, carrying a large red case. "Alright. Red case. Supersuit. It's heavy." Erica moved back to Kobi, tossing the case on top of the cache of sweaters. "Let's see what we got."

The first two snaps popped open effortlessly, followed by a little traction on the third and fourth, but sure enough, the case gave way. "And here we have-" A white unitard with red assortments of sailor fixings along the collar with a bow tied to the front. A red pleated skirt attached itself to the midsection of the unitard with a matching pair of gloves and knee high boots in the case as well. "Hmmm. Your underwear question does raise some concerns about whether this would work. Also, Mitsy! I thought you said this was unisex?!"

Mitsuko's eyebrow arched. "Yeah, uni. One. It's for one sex!"

"Her English is, uh- not great in the written form. Hmmm, maybe Mitsy can sew you something with that stuff that makes bullet wounds close up." While Erica poked her finger to her cheek, she could hear footsteps coming up.

"Yeah, we don't have anything like that. At all." Bliss interjected, physically, pushing Erica back. "Nope."

”You, uh … you seem t’ be havin’ some trouble did you just fuckin’ say supersuits? Shit. I was mostly jokin’.” What the hell kind of store was this? Demonic possessions, staffed solely by hot girls, and they apparently just have supersuit lying around. Even if the supersuits were a little …

”Yeah, ‘m thinkin’ that’s gonna show a li’l more’n me than people wanna see. I know I’m fuckin’ gorgoeous, I know, but tha’ might be forcin’ me on people. And y’know I ain’ a forceful person.” He wasn’t without a sense of humor, after all. He could still joke … even if the majority of his attention was focused on not laughing at the very nice ladies who were helping him and providing him with amusement. That second part was mostly a direct result of the demonic possession happening not three feet from him, but still. He was having fun. At least .. he was until the chick called Bliss lied to him. Now, of course he had no solid proof that she lied … but he was a fairly perceptive guy, and he could connect the dots. Erika said they did, and she seemed fairly well-informed. What reason would Erika have to be mistaken? They probably don’t get many orders for supersuits.

”What’re you scared of, huh, Blissy?” He threw the question casually at Bliss, but his eyes were dark and intense, focused on every minute reaction of hers. ”What? Y’ think ‘m gonna destroy a city in yer clothes. Newflash: if I wanted t’ destroy a city, I woulda. Yer clothes just make it so I don’ hafta buy a new wardrobe every fuckin’ week. Y’ got any idea how many fuckin’ clothes I’ve thrown away? Serious pollution, Blissy. Y’ help me, you’d be helpin’ the planet. Temptin’, eh?” He didn’t actually expect her to pick up on the offer; no, the entire speech was carefully calculated to test the reaction of this girl to better determine what, exactly, her problem was. But Kubi couldn’t keep his attention focused away from the hellish intervention right in front of him.

”Y’sure y’ don’ need m’ to take her somewhere that’s not, y’know, in the middle of the fuckin’ city? Ya’ll can come. I got a car, if ya’ll want. Seriously, this just feels … so fuckin’ unsafe.”

A tight knot finally finished the work Mitsuko and Erica started a few minutes ago. Once Bliss insisted on interjecting herself in the conversation, it fell on Erica on giving some non-meta, civilian commentary. "Did he just say he could save the planet because he could destroy a city?"

"No, he just kinda got from point A to point 2 without them being on the same line." A pack of sugar floated through the air, pulling the top off, then pouring the content of the pack into Bliss' coffee. A puppy then put its head on the keyboard, making it super hard to type. Now, he learned boundary and personal space which are very good lessons to learn, so I can type now. Bliss lifted her coffee cup in the air with telekinesis while she tapped on her phone. "That's great you can blow up a city." An applause came from her phone. "Here's the applause for being able to do that."

"Wait, he can blow up a city, and you're-"

"Oh please, I run into ten people a week who can blow up cities. The only thing impressive about this guy is he wants to look good while doing it." Bliss tucked her fingers into the handle of her cup.

"He said he wants to save the world. And look good." Erica looked over to Mitsuko whom finished her work. "That counts for something."

"I don't want to get into the morality or anything, because let's be honest, I wouldn't- oh my god, that magic girl suit is amazing." With her attention directed away, Bliss lost telekinetic control of her coffee. She still managed to keep physical control of it, so nothing bad happened. "Mitsy, this is my new suit. After you make it black. Come make this guy a suit so he'll stop calling me 'Blissy'. Also call me 'Blissy' and you'll wind up like Nancy."

”Woah, woah, hold yer horses, Miss Bliss.” Hey, what can he say? He couldn’t call her Blissy, time to come up with a new name for her. ”I wasn’t braggin’, I was jus’ sayin’ y’don’t hafta be worried I’m some kinda villain or some shit like that. I ain’ gonna disgrace yer brand or what the fuck ever. Don’ gotta threaten me with demonic position.” He was still grinning, though, despite the threat. God, he loved these girls - but from a safe distance and safely. He had the feeling this Bliss chick could pack quite the punch. ”And fer the record, I already look good; what I want is t’ not destroy my outfit everytime some fuckin’ power crazed cuntsuck decides t’ try to’ kill me. I gotta special order m’ shit, y’know?” That wasn’t even a joke; so very few places had his size, it wasn’t even funny.

He clapped his hands in excitement. ”Alright, now let’s talk aesthetics; I was thinkin’ something in darker colors ‘cause lets face it, I’ll fuckin’ rock it. But hey, I ain’ picky. Let’s do whatever. Oh, and like I said, I’ll take like, two suits, jeans if y’ got ‘em. Might as well stock up now, this is some high quality shit.” He was pretty much getting used to the demon shit now; he didn’t even glance at Nancy! He just balanced on his heels with his hands in his pockets, grinning at everyone. Granted it wasn’t a friendly grin, but it was better than a scowl.

"He wants a suit?" Erica pulled a pin out from under Kubi's arm. "I think we can do a suit. Mitsy, can we do a suit?" No answer came back from Mitsy. Neither did an oddly placed Nancy. "She must of taken Nancy to the break room. Let me go ahead and take your measurement to the backroom. I'll be right back."

The only set of eyes resting upon Kubi belonged to Bliss. "Are you paying in cash?" Both of Bliss' eyes remained static, her voice unrelenting. "You seem like the type of guy who pays in cash. And says he can destroy a city with a single breath." As a character witness, Bliss typically did not hold up to scrutiny. However, under scrutiny, Bliss once pulled a tooth out of a lawyers mouth.

"First of all, how dare you. Second of all, fuck you. Third of all, you can't go into the breakroom to talk to demons. Company policy." Bliss crossed her arms, keeping her eyes set forward with a small glimmer of void in between the fold of her eyelid and the deep brown of her eyes.

"Bliss, Nancy got loose and took Mitsy hostage." The door swung open with Erica stepping out, brushing a small build up of ash off her shoulder. "And we ran out of fabric for finishing up the inner lining of the suit."

"Explain to me what part of 'stock up so you don't run out' is so hard to comprehend?" With her hips still facing Kubi, Bliss turned her head towards the incoming Erica.

"The fabric is for suits made to order. Keeping excess stock increases overhead at an unnecessary rate!"

"I swear nothing any of you do makes me actually believe you know what you are doing. And, we're not getting the demon out of Nancy until I see if the demon can operate retail at an acceptable rate!" If it meant getting everything back in the ebb and flow of a working system, Bliss knew she would need to go to the break room for something other than coffee. "I know she kept saying she wanted to flay things; I guess she thinks flayed skin will make a great fashion line."

"The demon in Nancy wants to use corduroy to make skirts and matching vests."

Bliss popped her knuckles. "Time to stop a demon."

”First of all, ‘cuz I can. Second of all, whenever you want, beautiful.”

Oh, yes, he was loving this, as the smirk across his face attested to. He wasn’t being serious in the slightest; Bliss wasn’t his type, and he had a feeling that this woman could rip him a new asshole if he really pissed her off. He already knew she had powers, that little trick with the coffee cup hadn’t escaped his gaze, but the extent was unknown and until it was, he had to toe the line. Or at least don’t stray too far from it. Come on, it ain’t no fun to play it safe! Still though, her third point had him laughing.

”Third, holy fucking shit, are demonic fucking possessions common here or some shit? Like, it happens enough y’ had t’ make a rule fer it? You should fucking board up that gate t’ hell y’ have in yer basement.”

Oh, that was rich! This was getting better by the second, and even then, it got even better! The demon, apparently, escaped and was holding the girl hostage. Wait, this is where he drew the line! Who cares what Blissy said, he wasn’t gonna let some girl get a fucking pentagram ripped into her … god damn perfect chest. Suddenly he darted forward, leaping over the counter or any other obstacles in his way (unintentionally damaging the floor with his weight, oops) and burst into the break room, assuming nothing stopped him. He knew he was probably sacrificing a hero suit, but fuck it, worth it to save some poor chick. Blissy sure as hell didn’t seem to care.

"Hey!" Bliss poked her finger into Kubi's chest. "When you run a dress shoppe, you can board up any portal to Hell you find. You'd be surprised how many friends I have who actually use that portal to Hell."

"We really do save money on heating during the winter." Erica stepped behind the counter, pulling out a battle-axe adorned with a silvered head.

"We really do." Bliss pulled her finger back. "It also makes having a magical battle useful."

The doors to backroom continued to blink with a glow of purple and yellow energy as Erica and Bliss stepped past the mannequins that only occasionally come to life and try to take over the shoppe. The hinges on the door pushed against the sporadic energy pulsating against the foundation. Instead of letting Erica hack the door to pieces, Bliss merely pushed the doors with enough of a telekinetic blast to get the job done, but not require a new job to be done with putting the doors back up.

Nothing about the shape of the mass shambling in the center of the floor.  A bipedal machination began to form from the massing darkness seeping from the crevices of the floor. It drew some attention away from Mitsuko and Nancy. "Bliss, I'm tied up!"

Bliss shifted her eyes to take in the visage of her younger half sister tied to Nancy with a combination of fabric and sewing thread. "I see that Mitsy. Show. Don't tell, please. There are more important things in the room." Bliss cracked her knuckles, looked to Erica, and began to serve up some frozen justice.

"Nancy isn't possessed anymore."

Nancy held her hands up in front of her with a purple sash tied around them. "Yeah, I'm good now."

"Okay." Bliss took her eyes from the mass once more. "Erica, you said 'one' hostage. There are two. When you get your performance review, it is just going to say 'terrible' and I want you to remember this. Anything else wrong Mitsy?"

Mitsuko looked over to the cabinet. "I was checking the coffee and even though you said we were fully stocked, you only stocked up on Almond Mocha and not Deep Roast."

"It seems like you only got the stuff you like, even though Deep Roast is really good." Nancy rolled her eyes from the top of her eyes over to Bliss.

"Yeah." Erica lowered her axe for a moment and looked over to Bliss. "It is a really deep flavor with a good texture."

"YOU ARE THE ONE THEY CALL BLISS?" Fabrics, furnishings, and appliances all buckled under the boom of the voice emanating from the human form towering in the center of the room.

With no air trapped between the joints in her knuckles, the cracking Bliss attempted came as a mere stretching of her fingers. "Listen, it looks like you need to-"

"THE ONE CALLED BLISS! YOUR FACE CALLED." A coffee pot fell to the ground, creating a mirrored prism of a confused Bliss along the floor. "IT SAYS VIOLIN PRACTICE IS OVER. IT IS TIME TO PICK IT UP!"

A gasp faded into a hush as Bliss recoiled in anger. "Hey! Fu- okay, that was. I need to write that one down for later."

Two long blades emerged from the form, dark enough to dim the lights of the room.

"Don't worry Bliss!" Mitsuko called out from the behind the shadowed creature. "We can just try out new foundations!"