Re: You Cannot Write a Thread About Threads! (Kubi)

[Bliss]

"Hey!" Bliss poked her finger into Kubi's chest. "When you run a dress shoppe, you can board up any portal to Hell you find. You'd be surprised how many friends I have who actually use that portal to Hell."

"We really do save money on heating during the winter." Erica stepped behind the counter, pulling out a battle-axe adorned with a silvered head.

"We really do." Bliss pulled her finger back. "It also makes having a magical battle useful."

The doors to backroom continued to blink with a glow of purple and yellow energy as Erica and Bliss stepped past the mannequins that only occasionally come to life and try to take over the shoppe. The hinges on the door pushed against the sporadic energy pulsating against the foundation. Instead of letting Erica hack the door to pieces, Bliss merely pushed the doors with enough of a telekinetic blast to get the job done, but not require a new job to be done with putting the doors back up.

Nothing about the shape of the mass shambling in the center of the floor.  A bipedal machination began to form from the massing darkness seeping from the crevices of the floor. It drew some attention away from Mitsuko and Nancy. "Bliss, I'm tied up!"

Bliss shifted her eyes to take in the visage of her younger half sister tied to Nancy with a combination of fabric and sewing thread. "I see that Mitsy. Show. Don't tell, please. There are more important things in the room." Bliss cracked her knuckles, looked to Erica, and began to serve up some frozen justice.

"Nancy isn't possessed anymore."

Nancy held her hands up in front of her with a purple sash tied around them. "Yeah, I'm good now."

"Okay." Bliss took her eyes from the mass once more. "Erica, you said 'one' hostage. There are two. When you get your performance review, it is just going to say 'terrible' and I want you to remember this. Anything else wrong Mitsy?"

Mitsuko looked over to the cabinet. "I was checking the coffee and even though you said we were fully stocked, you only stocked up on Almond Mocha and not Deep Roast."

"It seems like you only got the stuff you like, even though Deep Roast is really good." Nancy rolled her eyes from the top of her eyes over to Bliss.

"Yeah." Erica lowered her axe for a moment and looked over to Bliss. "It is a really deep flavor with a good texture."

"YOU ARE THE ONE THEY CALL BLISS?" Fabrics, furnishings, and appliances all buckled under the boom of the voice emanating from the human form towering in the center of the room.

With no air trapped between the joints in her knuckles, the cracking Bliss attempted came as a mere stretching of her fingers. "Listen, it looks like you need to-"

"THE ONE CALLED BLISS! YOUR FACE CALLED." A coffee pot fell to the ground, creating a mirrored prism of a confused Bliss along the floor. "IT SAYS VIOLIN PRACTICE IS OVER. IT IS TIME TO PICK IT UP!"

A gasp faded into a hush as Bliss recoiled in anger. "Hey! Fu- okay, that was. I need to write that one down for later."

Two long blades emerged from the form, dark enough to dim the lights of the room.

"Don't worry Bliss!" Mitsuko called out from the behind the shadowed creature. "We can just try out new foundations!"

[Kubi Tsuru]

”Kind of a fuckin’ rude bastard huh?”

Kubi was not impressed. That was a hell of a good insult, sure, Kubi had to remember that, but the villain was kinda … meh. More talk than actual substance. Sure, those blades were scary looking, but come on, swords? Fuckin’ ridiculous. It was a demon from the pits of hell, at least light the swords on fire or some shit. Or a gun. Gun’s are so effective. Especially at range. This demon is fucking stupid. Eh, at least it’ll be easy to deal with. He cracked his knuckles, then his neck. It was time to deal with stupid over here. A black mist seemed to spread from him, focusing on his legs, but it surrounded his entire body. While it remained incorporeal around his body, the aura around his legs quickly formed into a very solid-looking bear legs. And then he was off. Already far faster than human, he closed the short distance in a fraction of a second. And then the mist solidified again, the shaggy fur of a bear forming into the shoulder, which he subsequently rammed into the demon-thing. Now, if it managed to not get flung backwards, that would be impressive by itself, considering the force it was hit with could cripple a tank; but more importantly, if it did get thrown back, Kubi would catch it, his right hand forming a bear claw, and then throw it towards Bliss to finish off.

Regardless of what happened, Kubi let his power fade, the brown mist slipping back into the man, fading into his skin like water evaporating. He was still impressively strong, and if the creature was still alive, Kubi was ready for it. He stretched lazily.

”Y’know, fer a demon from hell, thought you’d be tougher.”

[Bliss]

"I'm just going to ignore everything you've said for the past minute and go cut Nancy and Mitsy loose. Kay?" Erica tightened her grip on the axe as she looked over to the corner where Mitsuko and Nancy remained as hostages. She did not get far before a line of fabric flew towards her, snaring her in its folds, and wrapping her to Bliss.

"Excuse you!" Bliss felt the cloth wrap around her torso, bringing her closer to Erica before the cloth finally tied itself into a bow. "This is not conductive to how our complaint department works!"

"YOU BRANDISH A WEAPON AT ME-" The demons blades began to extend. "AND THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT MY ACTIONS!?"

"Yes, because that is how the complaint department works." Bliss tried pulling away from Erica to no avail.

"I AM NOT FROM HELL! NOR AM I A DEMON! I AM A-"

"Is what you're about to say going to make us say, that's pretty much a demon?" Erica slipped out of the fabric casing her with a little finesse and the head of an axe.

"I AM A FIEND!"

Nancy rolled her eyes. "Could've guessed it."

Erica gripped her axe. "Same thing."

Mitsuko turned her head to try and see the fiend. "I think it's interesting that you are that things and not the other."

"Mitsy, I hate half of you so much." A line of ice ran up Bliss' fabric casing, allowing her to break out of her bindings.

"SILENCE YOU INSOLENT-" A bear shoulder rammed the demo fiend in the face. It was a good shot to the face. A proud shot to the face. A shot to the face you do not see in today's world of cell phones and instant messaging anymore. It was a shot that could make an eight year old grow chest hair and run the floor on a a steel mill.

The carcass of the fiend flew towards Bliss. It would crush her. To death. In those split minutes of death defining gazing into the abyss Bliss could only- actually, Bliss just put up a massive wall of ice within a split second three feet in front of her while keeping her arms crossed. The fiend crashed. The wall shifted. It came to a stop six inches from her nose. The ice latched onto the fiend, keeping it imprisoned as the ice fully encased the massive body.

Bliss brushed her hands against each other as she stepped out. "Okay, so he's taken-"

"I AM A WOMAN!" The ice covered the remainders of the fiend as the prison crystallized.

"Oh no. Bliss, that's unfortunate." Mitsy shook her head.

"Tsk tsk." Erica crossed her arms.

"Don't- everyone shut up. Get this stupid thing back through the portal to Hell." Bliss moved to Mitsy and Nancy to begin untying them. "That demon was so needy."

Nancy held up her hands to be untied. "I know. All she would talk about was how she wasn't a demon- and wasn't from hell. Like we care." Once Bliss untied her hands, Nancy looked over her nails. "And trying to lodge a complaint?"

"Yeah, like we care about whether customers like us or not." Bliss untied her half sister, before turning back to Kubi. "Oh yeah, was someone helping this guy or something?"

[Kubi Tsuru]

”Nah, bitch, you a fuckin’ ho.”

The wisps of magic still clung to him like mist to a boulder jutting proudly from a cloud. He dusted his hands off as the final wisps of the brown Chukomu sunk back below his skin. He had to admit, he was a little iffy at first, but this might be his very favorite fuckin’ store in Chicago. He’d have to visit more often; and then, fuck, he’d have a chance to visit Ryan more too. An even wider grin graced his face, now stretched in absolutely cheshire proportions. WIth his massive footsteps, he marched towards the demon. With one foot planted firmly on it’s icy carcaass, he shoved with all it’s prodigious might, sending it skittering towards the wall and shattering into a thousand pieces. Or at the very least that was the plan, but even if it somehow recovered from being fucking blasted to bits he’d just fuckin’ hit it again. Glass motherfucker.

”And yeah, I think yeh were gonna give me a huge fuckin’ discount for helpin’ out jus’ now. I think y’ owe me. Ain’ that right, Blissy?”

He winked at Bliss then, the exact amount of mocking and sarcasm in his voice to invoke a response from normal people; fuck, even from abnormal people, he’s been doing this for fucking years, he knows how to rile people up. And he used the forbidden name. He was almost daring Bliss to kick his ass. From what he’d seen, it would be one hell of a fight, even if he couldn’t touch her - morals and all that. He didn't know if she knew it, but Bliss was hella hot when she was pissed off - or so he assumed. The bit of irritation he’d seen certainly seemed to promise something more. He hoped to see it soon - but not today, he had a fuckin’ interview to attend to.

”But did I mention I’m being interviewed for a fuckin’ biopic about me? Cuz I am, I’m in a fuckin’ hurry, can we whip somethin’ out that doesn’t come outta fuckin’ 80’s anime?!”

So he watched Sailor Moon. So he knew the theme song by heart. Big deal, lots of people did. Point was, he wasn’t no crossover, he wasn’t gonna go fightin’ crime flashin’ people his panties. Not gonna happen, homes, in a thousand years.

[Bliss]

Bliss let her eyes wander over to Kubi before her head followed. "The answer is 'no'. Followed by 'you can go fu-'."

"Maybe we can make you a suit that can take ballistic energy from the torso or legs and move it into the sleeves." Mitsuko took her measuring tape and moved over to measure Kubi's arm. "You have to get rid of the energy quickly, otherwise it could break your arms, but it's better than getting hit in the stomach."

"If what Mitsy makes is good, it will take away from some of the bad things that happened today." Erica grabbed a broom and began to place it against the ground. Then, she remembered she was the managed and gave it to the no longer possessed Nancy.

"I still can't believe Bliss misgendered that demon." Nancy accepted the broom with two fingers, leading with incompetence.

"I know!" Mitsuko moved the tape from Kubi's arm to his waist. "It was so embarrassing! I hope Hellagram doesn't hear about this."

Bliss tucked her arms across her chest. "Oh yeah, because that is the worst thing to ever be put on a social media site with a flayed human on the masthead!"

"It's actually not a human, Bliss." Nancy meekly attempted a motion at sweeping. "It's a Guzelant. They're an oppressed people from a demon occupied realm."

"Tsk tsk." Erica shook her head.

"Fuck all of you!" Bliss felt confusion over who she earned her pointing finger. "I donate to GLAAD!"

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