I Don't Know Why (Humanity)

As irritating as his questions being brushed off yet again was, Lukas had to accept it for now. He could just as easily rant again, it's not like the questions would change. Maybe that's what Matt wanted. Maybe that's why he put things off. So he could retreat from a situation where he was confronted with the hope it would change to something more manageable the next time it was brought up. Now, that may have worked for some people, but Luke was relentless. He wasn't about to let the situation be changed to favor Matt.

No, Drifter didn't really hold this against him as much as he could have, but he hated having his points be ignored. If they were to truly get past them like Matt said he wanted, the guy had to face the music, and not just from Luke, but from Pat as well. There was no way this would be forgotten about. Drifter had too good of a memory.

All this went through Drifter's head as he ran. His freerunning was as much a meditation as it was a way to get from one point to another. He loved Matt, but he didn't know all that much about him. He didn't know WHY someone like his brother would be living the life of a vigilante. What ideals did he have? What reasons did he use to justify his actions? Did he even fucking have any, or was this just for fun? Luke cared too much for Matt to let that go.

Drifter bounded over a guard railing, and just like that, he was free falling three stories. He hit the mattresses on top of his car with his back down. Sure, it was terrifying, but he was fine more or less. He'd been slammed harder, after all. Regardless, after landing the vigilante got up and cut the pads loose from his vehicle. After that, it was only a matter of getting in, and storming off.

Luke used his phone as he drove, swiping a few times. He had gotten a read on the communications link the others were using. Granted he couldn't tap into the network, but he knew the specific frequency they were using, meaning he could send and perhaps receive a message with that frequency. He of course did so with a simple radio app he had.

"....I'm out. Just past the corner of Third and Ash.... Where are we meeting? And please, nobody say 'tomorrow' or some bullshit. There's still some unresolved crap we need to talk about," Luke said as he drove, awaiting a response. He couldn't just accept Matt and these others were vigilantes and not even question why. Everyone had a reason. Drifter knew his, and intended to share it, but he needed to hear Matt's, from his own mouth, and maybe even the reasons the others had for doing it. Otherwise, they were no better then criminals. No better then serial killers, doing it just for enjoyment.

"Well, if you wanna come over you can. Steaks at Stan's house!" Ash gave an enthusiastic cheer through the mic, leaving Citizen and Drifter to groan or react however they chose. But it oly a breath had pased before the wounded vigilante spoke up.

"Remember context Alex." The voice came across the line, quickly correcting the slightly upbeat voice of Ashtyn.That immediately was followed by a groan of pain before a random word in a foreign language. "Third street is a nice place though, Ash street has some nice houses. Go to "Copa del Diablo" it's down past Ash. You're dressed for it. Tell 'em "Hermano" is in danger." He said, letting Luke do so.

"Stan?" Ash asked, wary of the silence in the third party.

"I'm fucking coming. Jesus Christ....can't even get a concussion without having someone on my back." The modified voice of Humanity came across, though he seemed to be grumbling moreso than anything. "Drifter, I see you. Look to your 11. Fourth alleyway in." He offered to Luke, though he was busy applying pressure bandaging to his hand. In a moment he'd need touse some of his Stripspray to destabalize the blood he left on the ground, hopefully by then Luke would be able to meet back with him.

Drifter essentially tuned out the chatter from the other members of this group. He didn't know any of them very well except for Matt, and really he was the only reason Luke had dressed up like this tonight. It wasn't for a mission or a fight or some revenge quest, it was for his friend, his brother. If they were to get all this out in the open, then they needed to be free from distractions, and that unfortunately included the other people who were apparently a part of this.

Luckily, an opportunity presented itself. Matt was the first to see him, giving Drifter a few vague directions to follow. Luke followed them, of course, driving at a slower pace then he had been when he left the construction site. Once at the alleyway Matt mentioned, Drifter would park his vehicle a few car lengths away from it as to not draw attention, and then get out.

The vigilante took a deep breath in, standing by his car for a few seconds. He ran a few courses of action through his head, trying to predict how this sequence of events would go. Like the chess player he was, he was trying to figure out how to play this, and where Matt was going with his end.

Luke looked up at the night sky, moonlight bouncing off his eyes. He didn't know why this was being revealed to him now, didn't know why Matt had chose to do it in the first place, and didn't know why he both knew this man as a brother, and simultaneously didn't know him at all. Hopefully, though, he was going to find out by the end of the night.

Luke had changed out of his full gear, having dropped the mask and most of the weapons before switching out his hoodie with a plain red one..... The zip up kind. Pullovers can fuck off.

The male sauntered into the alley, preparing to meet his friend once again, hopefully free of any more interruptions..... But of course, that couldn't be the case, not yet at least. Luke could tell just by the silhouette down the alley that Matt was hurt, at least a bit, and with his comment about the concussion it was all but confirmed. Luke quickened his pace a little, but he had confidence it wasn't too serious; especially since the male quickly sat up and started spraying something onto the ground. Unless he had suffered severe brain damage and was just doing random things, well, Humanity was just sanitizing something.

"Ya know, i jumped three stories onto a mattress and didn't get that fucked up. Maybe you need some more time at the Batman Academy." With those words, for the first time tonight Luke had a smile on his face. The light was dim, obscuring both of the young men, but their identities, both of them, were doubtless. A pale hand illuminated by white star light reached out, offering help to get Humanity, who had likely finished work cleaning the blood up, to his feet.

"Let's ditch those guys and get somethin' to eat. I haven't eaten since that douche interrupted me mid-veggie berger."

Everything was stripped and sanitized. He just needed to shift out of costume. Lukas had done a wonderful job of telling him about how he jumped three tories onto a mattress and didn't get fucked up at all. What Humanity wanted to know was "was the mattress two stories tall?". Something about Batman Academy just made Matthew cringe and want to sink a knife into his friend's hand as he offered it up. Humanity groaned as he leaned forward and stood up, only taking Luke's hand once he shifted to a crouch. Lukas seemed overly enthused to go about and grab a bite to eat.

"I've been a bit distracted lately. Even Humanity has off days." He replied simply, groaning as he stepped up. "I need to change out of uniform, but I could use some food. Nothing heals a wound like a three-cheese enchilada." He made the sarcastic comment, knowing full well that Luke would dive at the opportunity to drag everyone to Taco Bell and then slip his meal onto his paycheck. Granted, it was Matthew's fault. He always had to make the nice gesture of paying for shit when they occasionally all went to hang out in a fast food joint.

After having been through a change of clothes and applying some fresh bandaging, Matthew had finally managed to be free of his vigilante persona. In his standard uniform with a small cut above his eyebrow, he placed the beanie on over his head, threw on his red flannel over-shirt and made himself comfortable in a Taco Bell booth, trying not to fall face forward into his food as he seemed to be lost in thought a bit. He figured he'd wait for Luke to talk. Matt was the one in the dog house, metaphorically anyway.

Since more or less becoming vegetarian, Taco Bell had become slightly less fun. After all, he didn't get to eat the ground meat that he for over a decade theorized must have been laced with cocaine to be that good. Still though, Mexican was easy enough to make vegetarian. He just got his trademark seven layer burritos, six of them, and sat down at the booth..... Yes, six, move the fuck on. He likes food.

Yes, he made Matt pay. It was somewhat of a tradition at this point, even though if his friend complained he would always give the money back. Luke didn't like taking from people, but if they really, really wanted to, and it was something small, he didn't mind them paying. It's not like Matt was clearing away his student loans or buying him a car.

Drifter just sat, occasionally glancing over at Mathew as they eat. Lukas was powering through his first burrito, because, well, he was fucking starving, and needed some calories in his skinny ass if he was going to go on any more rants. The amount of fat those burned was ridiculous, after all. Probably why he weighed so little....

Once Drifter eat his first burrito, he took his one and only sip of water since being there, folded up his paper, and then grabbed another seven layer. This time though, he wasn't so urgent. It was talky time.

"I'd play you a recording of exactly what i asked at the construction site, but alas, i didn't think to do it. Guess that means i have to rehash it....." Luke said, taking a bite out of his next burrito, and then wiping away some sauce with a napkin. This was really a rather odd setting for such a discussion, but he supposed it made no difference. This might be his last opportunity to clear some of this shit up. Matt had a talent for slipping away from him.

"Here's the deal..... I can talk all night about how much i don't know why you do the things you do. I guess you have your reasons for being a secretive bastard, and i guess maybe your logic checks out and it was for the best, even if i don't see how that could possibly be true. But......... As i said in the building, i only need to know what this is is all for—why you do what you do. The rest means nothing to me anymore," Lukas said. He leaned back in his chair, getting into his calm and casual mode. Perhaps not discussing this while he was so emotional was a good thing. His words were level, and at least somewhat well thought out.

"I'm not a betting man, but I'd wager you already know why i do it. I got tired of seeing quality people with intellect and skills and merit shut out not just from success, but from a remotely decent life. I'm no robin hood, but i certainly think we all deserve to take a shot based on character, and not our wallets. Corruption and abuse of power prevents that." Luke put his burrito down, then brushed his hands together as if to get the crumbs off. He then relaxed a bit more, rubbing his chin in thought. He took a few moments to say what he had to say next.

"But you..... I'm drawing a blank. I'm emotionally unstable, jaded, and tired of an unfair, non-meritocratic world. Crazy vigilante is easily deduced from that. But you? Sure you've talked about the darkness in you, and how much of an Eldritch you are, but even with that i always considered you a good guy. An innocent guy....... So, tell me Mathew May, why do you kill people?" Lukas said, keeping his voice low at the end. Lukas was ever paranoid, and always made sure to not give away information to eavesdroppers. He also scanned the Taco Bell for potential weapons and exits, but that was just reflex at this point.

Taco Bell. Once upon a time there was a young man who would have sworn up and down it was this food that was the source of his weight proiblwm when he was 5 to 10 years old. He could place the crippling depression on the rapist priest and a desire for vengence, but it didn't have the same ring to it. Luke got six seven layer burritos coming to about 17.94 before tax. Matthew didn't mind, he always paid. He didn't much care if he ever got paid back either, he had more than he needed to survive. In a very sick, sadistic way...he was blessed with this fucked up life of his.

Matthew ordered his own items. The spicy potato taco. Now had he come with Silus; he would have been relentless on making jokes about him being a potato dragon, due to the tubur having stolen his name. Thankfully he was here with someone else that didn't have that level of awareness. After enjoying his appropriation of 5 tacos for 5 dollars he sat across from Luke and slowly began to brush the cheese off of his lettus and potatos. He was attentive to Luke as he always was. This was just a normal bro-date pretty much, a venting session. Unfortunately Luke had a fuck ton to say, and Matthew wasn't about to cut him off. when he was finished, however he ended on the note of asking Matthew why he killed people. Matthew looked to him seriously for a moment before taking in a dep breath and saying:

"I can't answer that right now- I'm kidding. It's a joke.' Matthew said, making a slight jab at his constant inability to give timly answers when the build up seemed to poise him perfectly to do so. With a slight sigh he looked to Luke, his eyes narrowed for a moment as he seemed to read Luke for a moment, searching for something before taking a small swig of his water. "I kill people because people spell my name with one t, and not two." He said, though it wasn't in seriousness he then proceeded to take a bite of his taco, looking around to judge the area around them. He then looked to Luke and smirked a little. He reached down onto his pocket and then grabbed his keychain. A small black rectangle and then pressed his thumb into it, then sliding a small switch on it.

"Sorry. Paranoia. No recordings, no loops. It'll all artifact at this point. Alrighty." He said as he cleared his throat and took another swig of his water. "Why do I do it? Because someone has to. Because no one else would. I've gone too long, been part of too much to believe anything different." He said as he leaned over the table a little with a rather strange glint in his eye, but a small smile on his face.

"You know, you guys jumped into this whole thing as I was planning my last ride? Yeah. I had one last target that needed to pay. I waited for years and years for this one, Father Kahn. Not because of it's difficulty, nope, because I needed to make sure that this one didn't change me. I needed to know..." He said as he shook his head with a small sigh. He took a sip of water, finishing it off. "Even though a monster like that made a monster like me....I could still be saved...I was wrong." He said with a rather endearing smile before his eyes widened and he opened his mouth in an almost cartoonishly smile and stood up, walking back over to the drink to refill his water. when he returned to the table with his water, he opened his second taco and took a drink.

"Robbed me of my vengence Luke. Just like ya robbed me of mah moneh!" He said half-heartedly with a smirk, taking a bite and then setting his taco down. "I mean, don't get me wrong. I was on the path to do... THIS regardless. My entire family is full of religious metas. I mean... for Christ's sake CJ turns into an indestructible Arch-angel and my dad has faith-based vocifery. Being the only human in a family like that...kinda primes you to get shit done. Ya know?"

Lukas sat quietly and nommed his burritos, not interjecting for a change. Sure, he got the urge, but he knew if he took the floor at any point, he would never shut the fuck up. That's right, Drifter was making sure he kept his own mouth closed, if only because he couldn't risk not hearing what Matt had to say. It took all the discipline and patience he could muster, but he was successful.

At the mention of the single T, Lucius furrowed his eyebrow inquisitively. As far as Lukas knew he had always spelled it with two, but perhaps Matt was bringing up some obscure instance where he had only used one. The idea that Luke could even remember that was absurd, and it really had no bearing on the conversation. Drifter simply dismissed it as one of Matt's weird antics.

The meat of the answer came as Matt apparently used some sort of jamming device to keep all this from being recorded. Luke didn't have any himself, but perhaps it was a good idea. Not like they didn't have any enemies that might get some useful information by spying on them. Besides, barring a future Memory Gambit, which Drifter had considered at some point, he wouldn't need to record this. Course, he could just write it down.....

Matt went on to basically say he had always been cut out for this vigilante thing, and he was doing it because nobody else would. Ignoring the fact that wasn't true, considering Drifter was having a discussion with him about why THEY were vigilantes, he supposed that was a decent enough answer..... For someone far dumber. Unfortunately, Matt didn't really get into specifics other then revenge, and that meant Lukas wasn't satisfied.    

"Ok, what, so you're Punisher then? You go after people you deem to be terrible with no fundamental ideal behind it? Or, is it just you lashing out against the type of people that have always hurt you? Matt, saying 'because no one else will' doesn't give me anything. WHAT are you doing, exactly? What is it that nobody else can do but you? What's your crusade?" Lukas said, finishing his last burrito. Yes, he ate all of them in the time it took for them both to speak. He had always been a fast eater, after all.

"You're my friend, my brother, and i want to help you with this, but i need to know that i agree with it. I need to know we're not fighting for wildly contradicting points of view while being somehow on the same team. Most of all, i need to know what hurt you so badly as to drive you down this path. You know a lot about my origins, Matt, and i know little about yours. Time to come clean and tell me what Humanity is all about," Drifter said as he washed his food down with an entire cup of water. He then leaned back in his chair, and awaited whatever reply he would get. He just hoped Matt wouldn't continue to dance around the question.

"You know I'm too obsessive to let a vague answer like that slide."

Matthew seemed to let off a glimmer of ire for a moment as Lukas had said that he was basically The Punisher, or some off brand version. The anger quickly faded as the young man returned to his much more commonplace laid back and passive self.The mention of it being called a crusade warranted a small scoff with a smile and a shake of the head. What set him on this path? What was he fighting for? All of this was a lot for Matthew to reign in. Not because he didn't know how to control himself, but because he had waited for so long to hear these questions.

"You ask what I am and what the crusade is like they're separate things. They're not. Humanity is a symbol of hope and a source of fear. He's a reminder to everyone what humans are capable of. He's proof that humans don't need to cower or be victims to the wrath of the estranged or self-ordained superiors. More importantly he's a being whose not afraid to do what's right, no matter the cost. He is willing to end the life of a corporate billionaire for the creation of a new virus, or a common thug that would poke holes in a man for the paper in his wallet. I'm proof that of all the monsters that walk this earth, Humans are still at the apex of the pyramid. As much as I despise being compared to The Punisher, I'd have to agree that there are those that need punished. Unfortunately people need to be reminded that we, as humans, are so much more than this filth and corruption...and I will do whatever it takes to show them all just what Humanity is capable of. To make everyone know that we don't need to be afraid, and we don't need the help of metahumans that would just as soon kill hundreds of innocent lives just to get at each other's families. I WILL protect our posterity, even if I need to kill every last "hero" to do it." Matthew said rather softly, though he seemed to have a burning fire, an intensity in his eyes that was never seen before. It was almost as if there had been a flip-side to Matthew's passive self this entire time, something that was just revealed now with a vigor and a determination. It was a very odd sense of conviction to say the least.

"So what am I? I'm the villain." Matthew said as he leaned back, clearing his throat. "What happened to me? A lot. But where did this feeling, this darkness? You're a smart guy. Figure it out. I've killed plenty of bad men...why would I call Kahn revenge?" He said as he took a rather large gulp of his drink before pushing the remainder of his trey over to Luke.

"I remember each one. Each crime. I remember them, because so long as they are remembered...they never truly died. When you kill a villain, you replace them with another. I was just a futile attempt to kill all others. To kill and remember them. To be the villain's villain. Then to remember them, so that when I died I could laugh knowing that all of those sick sons of bitches truly died with me...Kahn hurt so many of them, but I had to forgive him. But he didn't change..."

Matthew seemed a bit more lost to his grief and rage, but he controlled it. It only showed in his eyes which began to turn a little pink as his eyes fixated on the table. He looked to Luke and shook his head, not wanting to talk about this any longer. But he knew he wasn't going to get let off. He would have to face this out one way or another.

Drifter was somewhat taken aback by the sudden passion fueled response from his friend. Sure, he had expected Matt to eventually get irritated enough with his insistent questioning to give up and spill everything, but this, this showed a side of Matt he had rarely seen. This was his friend during one of the rare glimpses into his steel trap of a soul. Whereas Lukas was usually the one with rage and passion in his voice, now the tables had turned.

Matt explained exactly what he was. The villain's villain. The one that sought retribution for crimes ranging from murder to corruption. The one that gave them a taste of their own medicine on behalf of everyone else. Luke smiled when his brother finished. It was not a mischievous or arrogant smike, but one that showed care for the man in front of him.

"The name is making a lot more sense now, Humanity," Luke said, reaching over to lay a hand on Matt's shoulder. Drifter could see the well of hidden pain behind his eyes. It was in everyone that was ashamed of how much they had been through. Nobody wanted to appear weak, and Luke understood that, it's why he never opened up to anyone but his close friends. Matt was even worse. Luke sighed, patting Matt on the shoulder a couple times before pulling back into his seat.

"I'm sorry Matt, for everything. The amount of guilt i feel for not being able to change things, for sometimes adding to people's pain, to your pain..... It's so much. I felt the same way for my brothers and sisters, even before i walked away... I don't want to walk away again. We don't have to do this on our own. We can fight the battle against the world or against society or against our fucking selves, together," Luke said, his fists slightly tightening at the end of his last sentence. You could see a bit of water glossing over his eyes. You could tell he meant every word.

".........My father was never good for much, but he told me something once that stuck: 'Do what i never did. Follow your heart, make your mark, and find your way. You're a better man then I'll ever be, and i know you won't let me down. You're gonna go far, son' He said that to me when we were both drunk, but it was the most honest he had ever been, " Luke said, obviously getting teary eyed now. He wiped his eyes with a napkin, and straightened himself out. He didn't want to look like a baby, either.

"I just.... I don't know if i can live up to that. I don't know if i am a good man, or even a decent one....... But I know that whatever i choose to do, I'm going to succeed in doing it, and I'm never going to abandon the ones i love again. I'm going to keep at this, and i think you want to as well, so, are you with me?" Luke held out a hand after he spoke. It was a typical mannerism from the male, but this one you could tell held more weight, perhaps more then any other agreement he had made in his life. Matt had revealed himself for a reason, and if this wasn't it, then Drifter didn't know what to think.

”Luke...I don’t expect you to ever understand this. But I’m not against you. From where you’re sitting I get it. It’s impossible to imagine that the guy who got you arrested was on your side, or the guy who pretends to be helpless on the sidelines is actually doing you a favor. I’m always WITH you. Through hell and high water. Whatever it takes, however it has to be. There’s no low, I won’t sink to for you. I’d get on my knees right here and beg forgiveness if I had to. I’d kill someone for every wrong I’ve done to you. I’d willingly die, a new excruciating way for every time I’ve wronged you. The only thing I truly wanted was to keep you from this pain that this does. When you’re doing this Luke, it’s not a matter of simply doing what’s right. It’s about doing what’s wrong in hopes that somewhere out there you’re making a difference to someone. This isn’t just a game of dress up, and I know you’re prepared for it but this is more than you know. This doesn’t just claim your free time, or your hobbies. It dominates them, like the same way Pat wants that guy working at the frozen yogurt store in the mall to do to him. This claims everything you have, reaves it away and slowly breaks it, waiting for you to buckle under the pressure. Your family, your friends. Your body. Luke by doing this, you’re selling your soul. I wanted to save you from that….” Matthew was speaking honestly. Truth be told he would have spent months on end trying to figure out how to answer Luke, how to reach out to Luke to tell him that there was something seriously wrong with everything that was going on. Couldn’t they leave the vigilante thing behind them? Matthew would gladly leave the mask behind and let the myth of Humanity, Yamm, Sin….He would even willingly let Matthew May die if it means they’d be the three amigos again.


He couldn’t believe what he had said to be honest. This was the most real he had been with anyone. He’s slept with people and told them less, he’d dated people and told them less. It took him marrying the goddamn devil to open up to a cosmic force to do it. But Luke had his ways. He and Pat were like the brothers whom held to two fragments of the skeleton key. Whichever door one couldn’t open, the other one could. He found himself clammy, uncomfortable and perhaps for the first time in several years, Luke saw Matthew as he used to be. Afraid, scared and uncertain. Hesitating and not sure what he was supposed to say next, scanning and searching within himself frantically for an answer.

”I’ve done this for a while. I had a criteria at first. The corrupt, those that preyed on the weak. Then it moved to those of just...any real infraction of civilized society. Then it moved on...I started targeting heroes that orphaned children with their collateral damages. Was that their intention? No, of course not. But they needed to know. They needed to feel it....If I can’t stop you, then I’ll stop everything else. I’ve never been against you. But when the rubber meets the road. When you’re actually working with the terrorist himself. The real question isn’t if I’m with you. It’s are you with me?” This was a bit more like Matthew, as of late anyway. He was off guard, broken down and Luke had gotten to the bottom of the rocky rubble that buried his friend alive oh-so long ago. But there was a wall. There was that question that lingered. No matter what Luke said, Matthew would forever fight beside him, but even Matthew knew it. Even now Matthew knew it…


”No more secrets I guess...Come on. We gotta find Pat. I got….so much more to show you.” He said, already feeling exhausted at the mental reaming he was going to get when he revealed everything he had been hiding.

"I know you aren't against me, Matt. You could become everything I hate in this world, and I would still love you. I just needed to know why. I need it filed in my head, ordered. Uncertainty throws me off, and you sir are walking uncertainty. Gotta mitigate that best I can," Luke said, smiling a bit. He had explained this dynamic to Matt quite a few times, but Luke wasn't sure if his friend realized how big a part of his personality it was. There was a reason Luke was so hungry for knowledge; the chaos of the unknown unnerved him. Secrets, lies, the unpredictability of not knowing so much about those you love—all of it triggered Drifter's obsessive anxiety. Unfortunately, Matt had the opposite problem, from what Luke understood. His friend found comfort in being an enigma. Matt felt safe in the unknown, whereas Luke felt safe when everything was as transparent as possible. It was just easier for him to wrap his head around. Perhaps that was also the case for Matt and his relationship with the chaos of the unknown.

But it didn't matter. Two sides to a coin as they were, opposites as they were, they could never be separated. Luke's overwhelming desire to know may have irritated Matt, and Matt's overwhelming desire to stay hidden may have irritated Luke, but in the end they were stronger together. Add in Pat as the glue, and you had a group that made up for all the weaknesses of each other. If one failed in something, you could bet that one of the others or both would pick them up, and then win. Loners as they all were, they were an insurmountable force together. Lukas truly believed that.

"No, I know there are some things you have to keep to yourself if that's what works for you. Keep some of them, but, ya know, not so many that I lose my mind," Luke said, chuckling. Pat was mentioned, and Drifter nodded. It was best to bring the last member of the Dark Triad into the fold now.

Granted, Drifter was glad him and Matt had they're verbal sparring match before letting Pat in on the big secret. If Matt had approached them both at once, no doubt Pat would have been drowned out by the philosophical and emotional back and forth. Luke was an intense personality, and Matt was strong in his ways. Often conversations where they disagreed were like a unstoppable force meeting an immovable object, and Pat would most always get sidelined in the crossfire. This way, he might actually get to say his piece.

"I hope what you have to show me Isn't like, a tentacle sex dungeon or something. Then I might actually have to stand against you... Anyway, yeah, right. Let's get Pat."

END