Bah Humbug. [A Jeannie and Dire christmas story]

T'was 6 nights before christmas,
And all through the house.
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse.
There was nothing stirring,
for The Demonic Dire wasn't there.
Yet he knew a best bud was going to get a good scare.
He stepped off his plane,
To the pale London night,
and drifted out of sight.
Because being a hero is bad on a flight.
He wiggled his hips,
and winked two times.
Then he-
"Hang on a minute! You missed the buildup to this point. I think I have to take you to the point BEFORE I decided to see Jeannie's spandex/leather- squeezed ass. Time to warp back a little bit... Have fun, reader... This one's gonna be a good one..."


Dire sat on the couch of his apartment.
1 Week away from Christmas.
He never liked Christmas...
Ever since losing his entire family.
Valentine's meant he attempted to get his love life back together.
St. Patricks was when he attempted to get drunk. Same with Oktoberfest.
Halloween meant cosplay.
Thanksgiving meant buying extreme amounts of food.
Yet Christmas was simply a holiday he spent completely alone.
He never bothered any of his friends because they all have people to spend it with.
So he just watched tv...
The tv was showing the lighting of a Christmas tree, people upstairs were blaring christmas music and throwing a party.
When he grew tired of watching all the idiots flock to a glowing piece of wood, he shot the tv.
"Merry Fuckin' Christmas..."

He walked to his calendar and begged for there to be something to do.
Then he remembered Jeannie's birthday was Christmas.
"Better than this..." He mumbled.
He put on all black.
Black leather jacket.
Black aviator glasses.
Black jeans.
Black boots.
The only thing that wasn't black was his chain on his jeans.


That brings us to now.
Malik teleported into Jeannie's room in the middle of the beautiful London night, half-hoping she wasn't naked when appeared in the bed next to her with a Golden Retriever puppy in his hands.
They were both perfectly still until Malik whispered "Go get her!"
And the pup went over and started licking her face.

So Jeannie was super excited it was getting close to Christmas one of her favorite holidays that also happened to be her birthday which meant double the fun and for her presents.

at the moment Jeannie was taking a nap she had been busy all day getting ready for Christmas. buying all kinds of stuff presents, decorations, foods all kinda of stuff for parties.  She's also got some things for herself like the comfy Christmas colored PJs she has on.

Jeannie is woke from her sleep when she feels something wet on her face. oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!! a puppy she seems to have early Christmas present.

oww aren't you cute, wonder how you got in here, oh well Yay I got a new puppy
Jeannie plays with the puppyhuh what should I name you? she then notices something else in her bed a Malik oh hello there buddy, what brings you to my bed?
check out my new puppy I got, Isn't he cute I think I'll call him mister cuddles his very friendly

Malik couldn't help but smile when Jeannie began playing with the puppy.
It wasn't like he hated everything, he just didn't like christmas.
"Well, I was just walking through London and thought a certain birthday bestie would like a new puppy!"
He said as he allowed his wedding ring pop to materialize onto his finger.
"It just so happens I had a puppy and birthday bestie!"
He rolled over to hug the puppy and Jeannie.
"Happy birthday, Jeannie."

He then realized how strange it was.
He was in all black, fully clothed with a dog and a lesbian in her bed...
He cringed and rolled off.
He leaned up against her dresser and asked, "What are you doing tomorrow?"

oh so it's you I have to thank for this little guy Jeannie smiles excitedly hugging him and the puppy.thank you so much I love puppies.

will I'm getting ready for Christmas I got to buy gifts for everybody,the castles really big so it needs lots of decorations and trees. get ready for big parties cause my birthdays Christmas I throw a big party for both of them. were you wanting to do something tomorrow?

Jeannie plays with the puppy more while waiting to what he might have planned for them.

Malik's brown eyes twitched at the word Christmas.
He hated christmas, but he loved Jeannie.
So he decided helping Jeannie wouldn't be too terribly bad.
"Well, SURELY you'll need help with your shopping! I'll lend a hand."
He said as he curled up like a cat at the foot of the bed, putting him around Jeannie's legs.
"I'd love for your Chr-..."
He couldn't even say the word.
"Holiday to be special. Just wake me up when you leave and I'll follow you helping in any way I can."
He knew as well as she knew it would be MUCH more entertaining than that.
At that, he drifted to sleep.
Awaiting Jeannie's awakening so he could goof off with the goofiest girl he'd ever met.

ok then,see you in the morning She cuddles up with her puppy and goes back to sleep
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so she wakes up the well the puppy wakes her up licking her facegood morning Mr.cuddles did you enjoy your first night at your new home? The puppy wags his tail as she pets him. she then notices malik at the bottom of her bed.wakey wakey time to play,go wake him up boy Mr. cuddles listening to his mummy goes and licks malik face to wake him up too.

Malik was dreaming of beautiful brazilian volleyball women.
He was scanning them all until he saw Jeannie amongst the extremely beautiful women.
She said something then whispered something to the bounciest girl of the bunch.
She came up to kiss him...
That's when he woke up.
He was making out with Mr. Cuddles!
"Ack! Gross!" He laughed as he got up to wash off his face.
When he came back he looked at Jeannie and said, "Alright. You get ready, I' m gonna go suprise your parents. Whenever you're ready, I will be too."

Jeannie rolls around on the bed laughing about Mr. cuddles special wake up call.ok then, huh smells like breakfast is ready

Jeannie gets dressed

she finds a doggy Christmas sweater for Mr. cuddles too

then her and Mr. cuddles hurry downstairs for breakfast.  She smells a yummy smell, smiles happily she finds malik and her parents in the dining room. she smiles happily when she see the yummy Christmas themed breakfast. it was a verity of peppermint, gingerbread, and hot chocolate versions of breakfast stuff. her dad is tinkering with Christmas light.

good morning look I got a new puppy Mr. cuddles isn't he cute?oh yeah malik came to visit he got me the puppy for my birthday, his such a good buddy. he's going stay and have Christmas fun with us.huh we need to get you some  Christmas sweaters, you can't just wear all black it an't very festive will I guess for Halloween it would work. but for now, breakfast time,  what you working on daddy she seats down at the table and gets some foods.

making the perfect Christmas lights, no more bulbs going, bad wiring and all the other problems with lights still working on it, though. oww your puppy's cute, nice to see you again malik
Jeannie mommy smiles and pets Mr. cuddles
he's a sweety, well that be nice your be visiting Malik

Malik shrugged off the idea of wearing Christmas sweaters.
"I don't NEED a Christmas sweater. I'll be fine..."

"I won't stay for the actual holiday. Just here to help you guys out with all the festivities."
He was trying to be nice yet out of the Christmas mood.

oww ok then Jeannie's kinda disappointed Malik isn't into funny sweaters that are part of Christmas. oh well, she doesn't stay disappointed too long yummy holiday pancakes and playing with Mr.cuddles cheers her up seems like her puppy shares her love of pancakes .

Huh, that sure was a nice gift she wonders what to get Malik for Christmas all she really knows is he likes guns and swords but that seems like a terrible thing to get someone for Christmas even if they are a mercenary.

Well maybe while they're out shopping she can trick him into showing her something he'd like and grab it when he's not looking. we should get Christmas trees first,we want get to the tree place early to get good ones before they're all gone,plus i want to get enough to have them all over the castle so got go before the all gone to

Malik moseyed through the Christmas pine trees aimlessly, simply pointing at some that looked good. He went around a corner and found a bunch of kids talking about Santa.
He suddenly had an urge to set the trees on fire, punt kick the kids.
He diverted and just walked away with an angry face.
He then got nearly plowed over by people practicing their carols for the night.
He nearly shot them but didn't.
He came up to Jeannie.
"How many do we need?"

huh let me think,castles are pretty big. Jeannie thinks about how she wants to decorate the castle and how many trees that they need.we need the biggest bestest one we can find for the center of the ballroom where the big Christmas/birthday party will be.

then four regular ones for the four corners of the room that make it nice and Christmassy. then I want one for my room cause I like having my own special tree. then what about we get two for each side of the gate at the front castle.
then we should get one for each of the corners of the castle walls up top. for Santa Claus to see that way land easier like the lights at the airport. darn I lost count, however, many I said Jeannie starts counting on her fingers to figure it out.

"So TWELVE trees? Okay..."
He walked around pointing out the best trees for Jeannie and carrying them to the people.

After getting all of them, Malik chuckled.
"We look like idiots... We just bought 12 Christmas trees."

"We've got A LOT of decorating to do... Glad I came when I did..."

When she stated she loved Christmas, he said "I... Erm... I love seeing you enjoy it..."