Switch Accounts
Log in
Latest topics
Top posting users this week
No user |
Word Count
Shrink your Links!
Rating
Sexual Content 2: Sexual content is permitted. References and writing about genitalia and sex acts are permitted, but explicit detail is not. Fade to black, or use the dotdotdot rule. (Let's keep it PG-13.)
Violence 2: Graphic violence is permitted. Explicit description or in-game narration violence is allowed.
Despite these ratings, keep in mind that there is a limit, and you should not cross it just to garner attention. Also, resorting to curse words is also like adding senseless fluff to your posts.
License
Discord Server
Disclaimer
Superhero RPG does not own any content written or distributed by Marvel or DC Comics. All of the content referencing to Marvel or DC belongs to its rightful owners. Superhero RPG does not claim rights to any materials used such as Comic Book, Movie, or Video game character images. Superhero RPG does retain the rights to any and all posts made by the original authors that are a part of SuperheroRPG.
Copyright © 2008-2024 by Chellizard, Spirit Corgi, Atlas, and Pain. All rights reserved. No part of this website may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the written permission of the author or the Site Owners.
Healing Heart
Page 1 of 1 • Share
Healing Heart
going elsewhere aka new character remove this thread
'
'
Last edited by Mozy on January 2nd 2017, 5:55 pm; edited 6 times in total
Mozy- Status :
Online Offline
Quote : "Insert Quote from Character Here" or etc.
Warnings :
Number of posts : 2
Registration date : 2017-01-02
Re: Healing Heart
Hi there Mozy! First off, welcome to the site
If you haven't checked it out already we've got a Discord chat that you can use if you've got any questions for us staff or you just want to hang out with some of the cool people that call this place home.
Anyways, lets get on to what we need to do to get you approved and ready for your first RP here. Unfortunately this is going to involve some work on your part but hopefully we can make this go as smoothly as possible.
So the first main thing I need to point out to you because it affects a lot of what I can see went in to your character creation is that literal biblical angels and demons and the like don't exist in the world of SHRP. There are realms similar to heaven and hell but there is no one heaven or hell, no single creator god or devil. We air on the side of not confirming that any one real world religion is true here. That said we do have lots of characters with angelic and demonic ties, just none that are actual religious figures if that makes sense. SO, you can be an angel. What you cannot be is an actual biblical fallen angel, which is what you have presented here. I understand that this will mean a relatively extensive overhaul on your part for the character, but with the right tweaks it is certainly doable. That said lets move on to some basic app things that will need some work regardless of whether or not you decide to move forward with editing this character or make an entirely new one.
When it comes to appearance of the character, describing them is perfectly fine but we'll need a little bit more detail. Right now I'm not entirely sure what this guy looks like besides a floating mass of eyeballs hair and wings. This is an issue in other aspects of your app as well. If this guys has a storied past lets hear it! Currently I know he was angel and fell (for what reasons? that's got to be an interesting story all on its own!), I know he had some demon buddies and spent some time in two ancient cities. Clearly there is much more to this guy than what you have written here that could be very interesting to see fully fleshed out. He's been around for 13 billions years for crying out loud! If hes that old, use that time. He's got a lot more going on in his life than three vague occurrences.
Your powers have similar issues. Again detail is key and the more I know about what each power does, the better I'll be able to judge whether or not its acceptable. One brief blurb for each is not enough. How do these abilities work? how does he use them? what are their limitations? do they work better or worse under certain conditions? There's all kinds of details that I need to see in order to approve a character that I just don't see here.
Powers 2,5 and 6 will need even more description than that. Five and six are both absolutely player permission based and that will need to be included in their descriptions. Otherwise you would have far too much control over another person's character without them being able to do anythig about it. Number 5 is a summoning power and that means we'll actually need to see a description of the powers and weaknesses (twice as many weaknesses as powers for a summoned creature) in the minion section.
Finally on to weaknesses I actually don't know what most of these do. The first one is banishing. How is that achieved? Can anyone do it? or is it something that requires something specific. What does silver or holy water do when they tough him? What is demonic law and in what way does it interact with him in any way? Then number two and six seem to just be facts about him instead of weaknesses. "He can be beaten" is absolutely not a weakness considering everyone on the site should be able to be beaten. And number six to me seems to just be an angle for his personality. These unfortunately are probably going to require the most work to fix but I'll be more than willing to help you should you decide to fix this up and stick it out
As I said if you have any questions, feel free to PM me or any other staff member, hop on our discord, or post back a reply in this thread. Happy editing!
If you haven't checked it out already we've got a Discord chat that you can use if you've got any questions for us staff or you just want to hang out with some of the cool people that call this place home.
Anyways, lets get on to what we need to do to get you approved and ready for your first RP here. Unfortunately this is going to involve some work on your part but hopefully we can make this go as smoothly as possible.
So the first main thing I need to point out to you because it affects a lot of what I can see went in to your character creation is that literal biblical angels and demons and the like don't exist in the world of SHRP. There are realms similar to heaven and hell but there is no one heaven or hell, no single creator god or devil. We air on the side of not confirming that any one real world religion is true here. That said we do have lots of characters with angelic and demonic ties, just none that are actual religious figures if that makes sense. SO, you can be an angel. What you cannot be is an actual biblical fallen angel, which is what you have presented here. I understand that this will mean a relatively extensive overhaul on your part for the character, but with the right tweaks it is certainly doable. That said lets move on to some basic app things that will need some work regardless of whether or not you decide to move forward with editing this character or make an entirely new one.
When it comes to appearance of the character, describing them is perfectly fine but we'll need a little bit more detail. Right now I'm not entirely sure what this guy looks like besides a floating mass of eyeballs hair and wings. This is an issue in other aspects of your app as well. If this guys has a storied past lets hear it! Currently I know he was angel and fell (for what reasons? that's got to be an interesting story all on its own!), I know he had some demon buddies and spent some time in two ancient cities. Clearly there is much more to this guy than what you have written here that could be very interesting to see fully fleshed out. He's been around for 13 billions years for crying out loud! If hes that old, use that time. He's got a lot more going on in his life than three vague occurrences.
Your powers have similar issues. Again detail is key and the more I know about what each power does, the better I'll be able to judge whether or not its acceptable. One brief blurb for each is not enough. How do these abilities work? how does he use them? what are their limitations? do they work better or worse under certain conditions? There's all kinds of details that I need to see in order to approve a character that I just don't see here.
Powers 2,5 and 6 will need even more description than that. Five and six are both absolutely player permission based and that will need to be included in their descriptions. Otherwise you would have far too much control over another person's character without them being able to do anythig about it. Number 5 is a summoning power and that means we'll actually need to see a description of the powers and weaknesses (twice as many weaknesses as powers for a summoned creature) in the minion section.
Finally on to weaknesses I actually don't know what most of these do. The first one is banishing. How is that achieved? Can anyone do it? or is it something that requires something specific. What does silver or holy water do when they tough him? What is demonic law and in what way does it interact with him in any way? Then number two and six seem to just be facts about him instead of weaknesses. "He can be beaten" is absolutely not a weakness considering everyone on the site should be able to be beaten. And number six to me seems to just be an angle for his personality. These unfortunately are probably going to require the most work to fix but I'll be more than willing to help you should you decide to fix this up and stick it out
As I said if you have any questions, feel free to PM me or any other staff member, hop on our discord, or post back a reply in this thread. Happy editing!
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thorgron- Mega Poster!
- Status :
Online Offline
Quote : "Insert Quote from Character Here" or etc.
Warnings :
Number of posts : 630
Registration date : 2013-04-16
Re: Healing Heart
Just going to gut it.
Mozy- Status :
Online Offline
Quote : "Insert Quote from Character Here" or etc.
Warnings :
Number of posts : 2
Registration date : 2017-01-02
Similar topics
» A heart to heart....with a disappointing lack of actual hearts [Hanna]
» Heart Attack
» Into the heart of darkness
» Home is where the Heart is (Detective Stone, Open to H.O.M.E. Applicants)
» Shock-Heart
» Heart Attack
» Into the heart of darkness
» Home is where the Heart is (Detective Stone, Open to H.O.M.E. Applicants)
» Shock-Heart
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Yesterday at 9:54 pm by DVC
» DVC joins the fight
Yesterday at 8:40 pm by DVC
» Cat Hunt
November 16th 2024, 4:00 pm by Cynical_Aspie
» The Most Dangerous Game
November 16th 2024, 3:05 am by Tybrid
» This Time With Gusto
November 16th 2024, 2:51 am by Tybrid
» The Fire of Conviction
November 16th 2024, 2:41 am by Tybrid
» Lingering Senitments
November 1st 2024, 4:29 pm by Cynical_Aspie
» Hell and Consequences [Alert]
October 28th 2024, 8:11 pm by Hyperion
» Recruitment Tour (Quickdraw, Celeste, and Stareater)
October 28th 2024, 2:24 am by Cynical_Aspie
» Fight Club
October 27th 2024, 4:43 pm by SicilianDragon
» Darkstar
October 23rd 2024, 2:44 pm by Vorik
» RED ALERT!!!!!
October 23rd 2024, 1:35 pm by Darkstar