When angels fall (Humanity)

The sunlight filtered through a thick cover of clouds above the city of LA, casting rare shafts of light upon an otherwise dreary day. "Jordan dear, it's getting a little late." His mother's voice intoned through the darkness of his room, a soft fluorescent light flooding the room. Well it was one of his mothers anyway, the one that wasn't known for her headstrong personality, or rather the female Sean. Jordan yawned softly, slowly coming into consciousness as he pushed a few covers from his body as they fell to the floor. This left him slightly exposed to  the breeze flowing from the cool air being pumped into the room via an air conditioning system.

"Is it that late?" He asked with a low groan, pushing himself upwards to look at the dark haired woman looking to him with a good natured smile.

"Well it is a little after twelve in the afternoon. I don't thin it was the greatest idea to stay up so late my little angel."

"Okay....that's....a little too late." Jordan ceded, rolling over and letting his legs drape over the edge of the bed. He was dressed in only a soft white shirt and a pair of light grey boxer briefs, his toes barely brushing the floor from his strangely elevated bed. "Guess that just means I'm well rested or whatever." He muttered to himself with a sigh as the sound of the door closing could be heard, bright blue eyes scanning the room until they fell upon what looked to be a small nightstand beside his bed. His clothes for the day were folded on it, a soft grey looking cardigan with a cleaner looking white shirt and a pair of jeans with a slight faded look to it.

His room followed an almost stringent set up was something that Jordan had begun to do recently, something taken from Fera surprisingly enough. Granted  considering that she managed to reign in a wild child like Shael, it made quite a bit of sense. It felt like it could be a nice day and yet he could not shake this sense of ominous foreboding, like a hand clenching around his gut. Perhaps his connection with Hyperion was still giving him residual feelings or it was his empathy going haywire. Sometimes that was a thing that happened, though Jordan was unsure about that. Life as a construct was something that always proved to be more confusing than anything else.

Ignoring his own stomach pains, Jordan stepped into a shower which was pleasantly warm, before changing into the clothes he had set out. He rather enjoyed the feel of the soft short against his skin, might've just been whatever was used to wash it. Straightening his hair out with a brush, Jordan picked his cell phone from the nearest hard surface. Sifting through his contacts, he stopped upon Matt's name. If his memory served him, he was likely still in the hospital care, though he had been sure to visit his friend as often as possible, calling when he couldn't personally visit them. They didn't really accept his attempts to heal him, which more than anything managed to make him feel somewhat disheartened. Granted, that just came with being someone that tried to help everyone even if they didn't want the help. Thinking over that sent a pang through his skull, something that passed away pretty quickly. Pressing the call button, he would wait, humming to himself until he got a response.

"Hiya Matt, you're not up to anything today are you?" He would ask with the usual cheery tone, one that tended to latch onto people once they heard it, infecting them with a sort of optimism. "Because I have nothing else going on and if you don't, I was wondering if we could hang out." If they weren't still in hospital care, well then that made things slightly easier when he thought about it. Just hanging out sounded nice, but then again being sure he wasn't interrupting things as that would have been rather lame. Personally, Jordan was hoping they weren't busy as that would give him an excuse to see a good friend of his.

Well there as a little more to this than hanging out but then again conversations with oneself aren't too pertinent right now.

The alarm went off. Unlike it's usual "Whisper and Lights" by Soilwork, the alarm was a tone far more familiar to him. The song was named "Sacrimony", and was the thing that his beloved weapon was a namesake of. He wasn't sure why he changed the alarm, but with the eerie whine of the violin he knew that it was different. Actually he wasn't sure what made that noise...he didn't much care either.

"Give me a sign...Sing the words of innocence and broken pride. Make all my conclusions fail, send me a sign. Heal this broken melody..." His eyes peeled. He would wait to hear the remainder of the song. He wasn't sure why he picked this song. Perhaps because Kamelot just so happened to be his favorite band. Granted, there were several lyrics that made him connect with this song. On a physical, mental emotional and even spiritual level. Voices echoing in my distorted mind. - Am I losing my mind? I'm not afraid my dear. - And now, leave me alone. Erase my memory. Don't want to hear, don't want to see. Don't want to think about the lie that follows me. There were dozens more. Thus the whole song resonated to him to the core. He threw his legs over the side of his bed and they touched the carpet of his dirty, ragged apartment.

First things first, he needed to do was get a shower. Cold water today, living in luxury of hot water wasn't something he could risk. Hey, his new position in Thrones didn't change him. He stood true to what he said. He was a predator. He was an Alpha. He didn't get that way by living a life of luxury and being pampered. Throwing a few treys of ice into the tub he put on the cold water. Then he stood in it, sat in it as the ice cold rain came down. Getting out he grumbled and fought the urge to shiver...though that ation in and of itself wasn't a conscious choice really. Of course with meditative concentration he managed to calm himself to keep a stern face. His daily rituals sucked, but they were required.

Breakfast was a no go this morning. He left his fridge and his cabnets empty. Going to bed hungry and waking up hungry was part of a struggle. Managing energy expended was crucial on a limited supply. Of course in this odd way he found himself still being a human in the sense he went out with friends for dinner. He wasn't so savage as to hunt his food every night... He hunted on weekends for a month. Venison and ducks from the park could be very good sources of protein. Though he thoroughly enjoys watching the park rangers take a "deadpool" of which duck will go missing next.

As he was going about his routine, he heard his phone ring. He looked to find it was Jordan. He had already removed him as a contact from his phone, but he had the number memorized. With a sigh he picked up the phone and put on his best face.

"Hola Senor. Que'Tal?" He asked as he felt a sharp pain in his side. Looking down there was a small red stain on his bandaging. Of course... hew just had to open it. Of course that's what you get when you ignore doctor's orders. "Iyah- Uhm. I don't got too much going on. I had lunch with a friend planned but... I mean they probably have work so I'm free." He said as he leaned his head to the side, trapping the phone between his shoulder and ear. He required both hands to be on the wound after all.

Goddamn thing is gonna get infected opening up this often!

Jordan would get response, the first few words requiring that he remember his espanol, but then again that wasn't too hard within itself. Despite himself, Jordan couldn't help but smile a little wider, pacing a little as they responded to his inquiry about being able to hang out. Something had been mentioned about lunch with a friend but that was quickly pushed aside, something that he was in a sense relieved about. "Cool. I'll be over there in around....an hour." He said with a chipper tone, hanging up the phone, and letting it settle into his right front pocket. Pushing his bedrooms door open, he took in the scent of what smelled like...something baking. If he knew anything, one of his mothers were baking something in the oven. It smelled like cookies, something that brought up a small amount of saliva within his mouth.

Slipping into the kitchen with an impressive amount of stealth, he propped himself against a counter while watching her take the tray out with those heat proof hands of hers. "Those smell pretty good." He said, mother turning around to see him with the smile plastered on his face.

"Why so dressed up little guy?" She asked, setting the sheet down, lifting several of what looked to be chocolate chip cookies from their places.

"I'm actually going out to hang out with a friend."

"Is it that nice Ryan boy we've heard so much about?" She asked, patting away a few crumbs from her palms, before turning back to Jordan, brushing a strand of blonde hair from her face.

"No, not him." Jordan said, getting the underlying tone that was present in her voice. "It's Matt, you remember him right?"

"Oh yeah, I really liked that one." She said finally remembering after a few minutes, making a little bundle and handing it to Jordan. "Well give these to him. I'm sure he'll enjoy these. Well.....if he likes sweets anyway" She said digressing with the last sentence, Jordan nodding as he, took ahold of the little bundle, the confections rustling around in their place.

"Well...ummm....thanks mom." He said, offering a small wave as he moved to step out, a cool breeze brushing along his cheek. They lived in a cozy little neighborhood suburban, one thing that his less than savory half did right. One of those places that you'd expect out of upper middle class really, but that actually made him question how Michael had managed to get everything in place. That may have just been his ability to plan things out so well when they counted, and that was something that deserved a modicum of respect. Someone rode by on a bike, waving to him with a freehand as he recognized who they were. Someone he spoke to at school, a friend of sorts though Jordan liked to think that people liked him.

Quickly returning the wave, he let his attention turn towards the small little car that he called his own. The mileage was fine and it could fit around four people, granted he tended not to drive too many people around, so that was not a real issue. While flying there would have been quicker, he preferred driving sometimes and having people see him fly through the air would have lead to the usual metahuman discrimination. Sitting down in the driver's seat, he turned the vehicle on and was driving, the latest hit by that one Canadian guy that seemed to dominate magazines aimed towards teenagers. Well those, and a few ones that would be considered far too nerdy for most he went to school to bother with anyway.

The drive itself would take ten minutes, but one had to factor in traffic which could be killer around this time. He also had to factor in his promise to swing by somewhere and get something for Shael, as he tended to expect that from time to time. Little guy really enjoyed his fatty burgers, even if they didn't actually add on the pounds. So add in all of that, and a few minutes over an hour had passed, Jordan finally making the drive to Matt's rather ratty looking apartment. Personally he would have preferred his friend live in a neighborhood like his, even in the same house considering they had a spare room but he knew Matt had his reasons. Not exactly what those reasons are, but there had to be some reasons for this.

Parking his vehicle, bundle nestled under his arm he made his way to the apartment and knocked on the door in a rhythmic fashion, one that he tended to do in all instance that required knocking on a door. After that came waiting for his friend to open the door, Jordan offering them a small wave. "Afternoon Matt, I...umm...brought some cookies." Holding them up, Jordan would either wait for them to step out or invite him in.

There was no door bell, luckily Jordan had been there before to know that. Humanity had been at work the entire time, up until the moment Jordan knocked. Despite the bleeding there were sit-ups and push-ups to do. That would establish warmth and circulation back through his body and prevent others from seeing just how cold it was he froze himself on a daily basis. Well it wasn't exactly daily, he didn't freeze himself on the days he shocked himself. Obvious reasons...

He had finished up earlier than expected and was actually in his secret little hiding space, looking over some minor details on a rather strange project before hearing the knocks. His head shifted hearing the taps, and he looked up to the living room area's direction, as if he could see out through the walls. With a quick motion he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and set his clipboard face-down on his bed. It would be relatively safe there for a while. Probably.

Opening the door he found his small friend there with a small container of what appeared to be cookies. The first thing he did was gulp, eyeing the cookies as if they were improvised explosives. Humanity loved cookies as much as the next guy, but the last cookies he had were from the other Jordan...and let's just say his oldest charge wasn't exacted gifted with Matthew's culinary affinity.

"Oh, hey. Thanks but Uhm... C'mon in." He said as he stepped aside. Now despite the rather crappy exterior of his home, Matthew had gone through great lengths to ensure his house was livable on the inside. It wasn't quite as good as a three-star hotel, but it was clean enough that no one had to be afraid of catching any diseases they couldn't get in their own homes. There were a few stains on the rug, though it had been steamed and washed several times, his tables were neat and orderly, though a tiny bit scuffed from use. His kitchen was the cleanest area in the house though, it was virtually spotless...though the linoleum by the back door was peeling up just a little bit. White painted walls seemed to glow from the sunlight while apple basket imprinted border adorned the upper wall and stained oak board adorned the bottom. "Make yourself at home." He insisted innocently enough before he had the visual in his mind of Jordan just walking into his room and jumping on his bed like a 5 year old.

Wrong Jordan he reminded himself before taking Jordan's gift into the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink? Water, Milk...I could make coffee but... I really need to run to the store." he said, offering all that he had and simply laughing off the fact that he was poor. The living room was simple enough. It was a soft brown couch, right in front of it was a dark brown wicker table , an outdoor table he decided to use as a coffee table. Hey when you didn't have money you learned how to make things work. He had a basic recliner seat as well, and it was all angled to face his television and console center. The thing was jury rigged with the help of Luke and David, his computer was wired to the TV, as was his Playstation NG with the games and VR accessories in the cupboards. Of course there was a space heater in the corner for the winter nights. All around the most impressive thing probably there was the gaming center he had. It was almost uncharacteristic it was for a poor guy. Though it was painfully remembered how he saved, and saved, and saved to afford every single piece.

"So uh...what's up man?" He finally asked, returning with his own drink and with (or without) a drink for his friend.

Jordan waited patiently for his friend to answer, humming to himself all the while. His mind did the usual, jumping from one thought to another with inhuman speed. Mostly images of the past, things that always tended to come up when he least expected, sometimes even distorted by the time that had passed between now and then.It may have been these unwelcome memories that unexpectedly distorted his mood, if even for a moment. A waver within his smile that quickly corrected itself wider than before as the door creaked open, revealing the familiar spectacled face of his friend. Absently he fingered the necklace hanging around his neck as Matt invited him in, feeling the traces of energy coursing through the gem. There was that pause within their sentence that caused trace hesitation but he quickly got over that. "Thank you." He said out of sheer politeness, stepping through the space given by the ajar door.

Once he had stepped through, Jordan would close the door behind him slowly enough that it wouldn't produce a slamming sound. As always, despite this not being his first time visiting Jordan could not help but take in his surroundings. It was the works of a overactive mind, always gathering new information, finding spaces within his knowledge and filling them in regardless of how small they were. The place was by no means as crappy as the exterior would suggest but it wasn't as clean as his home, however that was the privileged life that he enjoyed. Once could even say that the young well dressed male didn't fully fit into an environment like this, however something like that would never be directly be said by him. Extending one arm, fingers firmly clenched around the impromptu handle created to make holding it easier, he would let Matt take them and do what he wanted with them.

For a moment his mind constructed a scenario where they were thrown away but that didn't seem to happen. "I'll..um..do that." He said in response to the make himself at home part, eyes following Matt as they walked into the kitchen, Jordan stepping into the small living room which seemed to keep the kitchen in sight. It was settled for an entertainment system, along with a few seats to allow one to sit while making use of the system. Drinks were offered but he could tell that his friend did not have much, something that troubled him more than anything else. This was only made really apparent by the usual calm smile faltering, becoming a line that tugged downwards at the edges. Another thing weighing on my mind, just what I need. He thought to himself, carefully modulating his expression as best he could.

"No thank you, I'm fine." Actually accepting the offer felt wrong. Picking himself out a seat on the brown couch, crossing his legs and reclining slightly into the soft sofa, arms crossed as he let himself relax as much as he could. Then came the question "What's up?." Something about it brought to mind so many things happening within the span of a week, things that kept his mind working and working. The shadow of Hyperion looming ever close, a sword of Damocles looming ever closer but out of sight. Wiping a strand of hair out of his face, Jordan uncrossed both legs and arms as he leaned forward, composing himself.  

"I'd say the usual but that entails dealing with some kind of horrific monstrosity or jerk with a god complex. " He said, trying to inject some humor into the atmosphere. "Aside from a few things, not much really. School and the usual heroics, and...I just wanted to see a good friend. Guess you could say that's what brings me here anyway." That was when his mind would jump to the wellbeing of others, most importantly the person sitting across from him. "So how are you? Healing up well I hope?" The concern, despite him not trying to lay it on too thick dripped from each word.

His mind flashed for a moment. He wanted to hurt Jordan very badly for a sheer second, though nothing itself was present. There was no emotion to it, it was just sheer impulse at this point. His heartbeat didn't even change as such violent thoughts passed so casually. Though the one thing he did begin to feel...was panic. What did Jordan know? How does he know? This isn't good. How the fu-wait!- I was in the hospital. He's not talking about....okay. Manageable. He cleared his throat for a moment. He wasn't worried about his panic setting off Jordan's emotional foresight or whatever...if anything else it cold be chalked up to him worrying about something be brought up...or a possible prognosis he didn't like.  Matthew took one of the seats as his own before responding, his brow furrowing for a moment as if he had to think about how to answer this.

  "Uh yeah. I'm working at it. Still feeling a bit lazy to be honest with you." He said with  bit of a smirk and then a shrug before lounging back in his chair, pulling his feet up and digging his heels into the edge of the seat. "It's tough. I used to be able to get up from stuff like that ten times over. But now...I'm just...me. I almost didn't make it. I was brain dead for days..." he said openly before sighing. Honestly the more he thought about it the more he realized he might as well have just stayed dead. He wasn't an idiot. He knew how this kind of thing worked. But being dead wasn't going to keep Victor from being an orphan...then again it's not like there's anything he could do about it now.

  "Eh...I actually got your dad to help me get myself back to finish school next year. Get to have my senior year. Again...it'll be a good thing. A few of my...other friends have completely forgotten I exist now. After Sin's curse on me I...couldn't be remembered. When Sin was expelled then they forgot me completely. But hey...At least with those years in stasis I didn't actually age... don't know if I could do the whole "22 High school" thing." He said, trying to pit a positive spin on things from an otherwise dark conversation. He wasn't sad. He wasn't happy either. That was just the thing...he didn't feel...anything. At all. It wasn't what he wanted it to be, but that's how it was.

  "So yeah...Whatcha thinkin' of getting into?" He asked, trying to shift the conversation to something more than just him bitching. It'd be cool to have an idea of what Jordan wanted to do, or talk about or whatever.

He keenly remembered hearing about Matt being in the hospital, and being brain dead of all things. At that time Jordan was certain that he could do something to help, make himself useful and when he found out his healing would do nothing, that only made the pain as well as disappointment intense. That feeling of uselessness was something that ended up emotionally crippling him for days afterwards, barely able to do anything worthwhile, and really inhibiting his Seraphim duties. The only thing that really managed to break him from his mental trance was a flash of panic from Matt, something that managed to rub off on him to a certain extent as all emotions managed to do. Had he said something that panicked his friend or was it something else entirely? So many thoughts rushed frantically through his head. The time between their response was something that felt as if it would drag on forever until words pierced that painful silence.

That was when they brought up being able to get through something like that, at least before whatever had stripped him of his draconic power. That had been something that he had wished he could fix, another thing that he blamed on himself regardless of how little he had to actually do with it. However he couldn't help but notice a distinct lack of emotion from his friend, especially when they spoke about such dark things. It worried him to an extent and yet all he could do was chalk that up to some manner of shock, even if that likely made no sense. One could say that Jordan was being naïve in that sense, and they would have been absolutely right. Interlacing his fingers, Jordan  let his eyes fall to the floor before darting back up to his friend.

The mention of his dad actually helping him get back into school was something that relieved him more than anything else. It was nice knowing that they would get another chance at finishing their higher education, something that had been otherwise ruined by a certain annoying nature spirit. For a moment a sensation of anger flowed through him, one that managed border upon homicidal rage. "He did? That's great to hear." He said, sounding genuinely pleased with the news about his education being continued. Jordan believed he had great things ahead of him, even if those things had nothing to do with being some manner of eldritch dragon god. Much like Humanity, he was trying to take the rather sad edge off of things, as that tended to be a mood killer as far as the whole conversation went. Part of him then wished that he could use his empathy on himself, control his emotions so they were a bit more positive.

Then he was asked about what he was thinking about getting into, a question he did not have a good answer to. That was apparent by his face taking on a pensive look as he tried to think of a proper answer to the question. "Haven't had the time to think about that honestly.  When I do it just seems like....something that's overly complicated." Well he revealed he had no idea what he wanted to do with himself, so there was that barrel of worms. "I'm young, I have a few years to think about that." he then said with a sigh and a shrug, absently feeling over the gem hanging from thin metal chain around his throat.A nervous tick more than anything else, as a few words flowed through his mind.

"So you mentioned something about lunch plans with a friend. I was thinking, if you don't mind that lunch could still be a thing." He mentioned, trying to be the one to suggest some social stuff. That was when he felt it, a sharp pain within his gut, something that caused his features to turn into a pained grimace before it faded away instantly. This left him breathless for a moment, blinking confused briefly before looking back up to Matt.

[color-hotpink]"So what do you say, lunch sound good?"[/color] He then asked ignoring that small bit.

Every move was calculated. Humanity truly believed that. THe brain was a wonderous thing...and if left unchecked it can create a great many errors, or communicate things not meant to be communicated. Jordan playing with his necklace was simply telling Matthew something he already knew. A constant reminder to Matthew of what was going to happen. Matthew didn't try to control his emotions over this one. His face wore a smile as he scanned over Jordan, but he felt sick. He felt as if he knew what was going to happen. It was an odd feeling really, the emotion itself was sorrow mixed with fear...but somehow the emotions were strangled. Suffocated. It wasn't a healthy coping mechanism, but it was apparently working for him if he could still smile.

"Some things....can't be avoided." He said, having to stop and clear his throat between fragments in the sentence. His eyes narrowed and he looked to the flor, almost as if he were deep in thought. "We grow up. We...live full lives. We...Focus on Lunch. Fuck it. I'm hungry." He said with a smile, though his emotions were in check once more, making it quite difficult to gain any information on him at the moment. He stood up and cleared his throat before looking about for his shoes.

Gathering his flip-flops he slipped his feet in and began to scour around his house for his wallet. Not finding it he simply settled for his credit card. He had to excuse himself to the restroom, completely acting as if his medicine cabinet didn't have an entirely shattered mirror and stains surrounding it. Closing the door he did as he needed before washing his hands and coming out, ready to go.

"Alright. Where we goin'?" He asked before insisting on following his little friend. Though no matter what he did he could just hear a voice in the back of his head. He shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't be going with Jordan. It could only end one way. He's going to leave. Just like everything else.

Matt agreed to the suggestion of lunch, something that managed to improve his mood greatly. Jordan could't qautinfiy why he was so happy, even if it was something so simple as someone accepting an invitation to lunch. Regardless, when he was happy, everyone around him could feel It, even if he didn't want them to. As if his body just wanted to share that small fact with the world, like a beacon of light shining within a endless murk of darkness. Still he could feel that strange torrent of emotion flash through Matt beforehand, something that made his stomach drop within that second. A thought that he could try to make them feel better flowed through his head, but that vanished. Forcing something upon someone was worse than....well it was perhaps the most terrible thing possible.

Standing to his feet, Jordan would let his friend gather their things while he hummed a tune softly to himself. That pain within his gut had left behind a dark feeling, something that caused the hairs on the back of his neck to rise. Within a few minutes they would come back, ready to go to wherever it was that Jordan felt like eating out and that was when he had to actually think."I know this little grill, Shael likes to go there a lot and the food is pretty good." Jordan suggested, already mentally deciding to pay for everything. One could say that he was letting the apartment affect his decisions as far as the whole money thing was concerned and in a sense that was absolutely true. Not like he would want his friend to be short anything, especially if that could endanger their livelihood. Jordan tried to think up the name of the place but that slipped his mind.    

"I'm pretty sure you'll like it...unless you're super into health food anyway. He said, straightening the collar of his cardigan which felt as if it were going a little wry. He would begin walking, hoping that Matt would follow him as he stepped into the LA air, sunlight still as warm as it had been when he stepped into the apartment. His car was in sight, catching some of the rays of sunlight in a brilliant fashion as it also made it clear that he probably needed to clean the windows. "Soooo....you have a problem with me driving or do you want to?" He would as, being fine with whatever answer he got. From there they could get things moving.

"Nah, that's fine. The Grill it is." He said with a bit of a sigh. Not an exasperated one, but one of relief as the door opened and he had just taken a breath of fresh air. He actually didn't get to go out very often. Well he did, but fresh air was something he needed more of. A mask didn't leave much room for fresh air. He took in another deep breath, he could swear he felt his lungs vibrate from the chill air on the warm day. A smile naturally crawled across his face as Jordan stepped out as well. Locking the door behind him, he started on his way with Jordan. Jordan asked if there was a preference as to whom drove. Humanity himself did not drive. His junky car was destroyed by Luke in their pursuit of Kahn. That being said he had no means of transportation. How he was getting to work on time some days was a big question.

"Uhm...I kinda figured you'd drive your car." He said with a smirk. He was a smart-ass and he knew it. Wasn't even going to hide it anymore. For all he knew this was the last time he was going to see the little bastard. Might as well let everything out there, right? Of course the grand reveal of "I'm really a massive dick" only solidified what had been spoke of to Humanity earlier. His expression went solid for a moment before he melted it back into a smile with a shrug, trying to pass it off as if he had just had a serious thought that escaped him. He sat in the car and the ride was silent...well at least silent on Humanity's end. Of course the sound of silence only breeds thoughts that one does not desire. Idle hands and idle minds are indeed the agents of many bad things.

"So when are you gonna tell everyone?" Humanity finally asked in his same kind voice, as if nothing had changed. Of course he was convinced that Jordan knew what he was talking about.

Jordan was sure that they would be going in his car, but he wasn't sure if he would actually be driving, as likely Matt would want to do at the very least. "Alright, point taken." He said, raising his hands in a surrendering fashion as he made his way to his vehicle, compact as it was.  Digging his keys from his pocket, the doors unlocked with the press of a button as he would step into the drivers side and insert the keys into the ignition. Once everyone was in, he  set the thing into drive as Matt would ask the question that he was dreading, regardless of how much the answer mattered. His teeth ground together almost audibly as Jordan let his eyes focus forward, mostly on the street and how he would actually answer. As always one had to sow the seeds of doubt, cut him down and so many other things.

These damn feelings burning within his chest were something that made thinking about it even more difficult, despite how much he had thought about things. You have really bad timing,don't you Matt? He thought to himself, bitterly almost as his dire expression seemed to deepen. "Almost everyone already knows." Despite how hard he tried, he couldn't fully hide that tone he took, one that showed to an extent it wasn't an easy thing to talk about. That was when he felt it again, a flash of something dark that ate away at his insides. Could it have been doubt? Doubt of his own inevitable decision, or something else entirely? "Anyone that would care anyway." The only ones that mattered anyway, though something told him prior knowledge would do them no good.

Just looking at his expression, one could tell there was conflict going through his mind. Crying would have been a thing had Jordan not been able to control his emotions that well. "I guess it's pretty stupid of me...to think we can just go out and have lunch as if nothing's going to happen." Jordan sighed, defeated almost as a sort of fatigue seemed to fall across his feature in a great wave, the sunny demeanor setting so quickly. His knuckles turned stark white, as he clenched the wheel before letting the pressure up. His eyes snapped to the place they were driving to, a soft breath passing through his nostrils. "Weelll, here we are." He said letting his hands slip from the wheel.

"huh...guess that's where I rank eh? He mused to himself when Jordan stated that everyone who cared knew. He ha to bite back the urge to be a total dick in all honesty. He wanted to be incredibly bitter, to be entirely as he should be. This bastard was acting like he didn't care, or wouldn't have. If not he was just lying to him by pretending everything was ok. What was he just going to up and vanish one day and not say goodbye? He just sighed as they arrived at the place. He made the comment about it being stupid to pretend nothing was going to happen, like it was just going to be a normal day. Didn't Jordan realize how cruel he was for doing that? For pretending?

 "Hey, chill buddy." He said with a soft smile and an arched eyebrow. "It's life...right?" He said as he simply stood up and slipped his hands into his pockets. He looked over the grill for a moment, taking in it's exterior. The building itself was pretty unremarkable, thought the sign caught his interest quickly enough. That was life...it was a bitch. He walked up and held the door for his friend, letting him go to the hostess and deal with that stuff.

His mind spiraled, falling further downwards towards the inevitable crash. Something like this felt as if it should be a simple thing to figure out and yet all he could do was feel so damn conflicted, as if he was being torn apart from the inside. Forcing some control over his emotions, Jordan tried to make them get back into place and yet it wasn't as easy as he had hoped. "Go on ahead, I'll be there with you in a sec." Jordan said, taking in a deep breath as if that would calm him down to some extent and yet that did nothing. Resting his forehead against the rom of the steering wheel, Jordan let his mind rummage through every thought coursing through his head. That dark pulsing, like a heartbeat now apparent, audible within his ears. "Maybe he's right....maybe I am just too weak." Just thinking it felt as if he were sabotaging himself, and yet he couldn't help feeling that this whole thing was just that.

Instead of further enforcing his resolve, all he found was doubt. He could feel something, a wave washing over him as the tears threatened to spill over but Jordan composed himself before that happened. It was pathetic and this was pathetic, not infront of Matt, he didn't deserve to see him break down. Taking in a deep breath, and a recollection of the time passed, he noted that it had only been a minute at the least. Stepping out of his vehicle, Jordan brushed a few wrinkles from his cardigan and walked over to Matt who opened the door for him, stepping through to be greeted by the familiar smell. Despite how homely the place looked, one could not deny they made some damn good food, at least once they tasted it anyway.

The hostess recognized him immediately, but that wasn't a surprise considering how often he tended to come here. She smiled, walking over to them and leading them to a table. "Hey there stranger. Your friend not with you today?" She asked, referring to Shael who was likely doing whatever it was that he did.

"Nah." Jordan said offering a friendly smile, enough of one to fool her anyway. That friendly aura about her was something that he tried to make use of to improve his own mood, something that was pretty effective. Two menus were set down before them, Jordan picking one up and giving it a  cursory glance despite already knowing what he wanted from them. The same as always, being some kind of chicken fried steak that they cooked pretty tastily, but then again anything friend really managed to hit a spot with him. For the moment he just ordered his drink, which was some kind of branded orange soda and whatever it was that Matt wanted. He would be allowed to order his food, before she picked up the menus and walked off.

"Place doesn't look that great but the food is...awesome to say the least." He asked, trying to make some small talk.

"So uh...Can't really seem to leave this one alone, but I got one last question...how's Ryan taking it?" He asked, rather concerned for how Ryan would receive the news of a friend leaving. It was true enough that he made friends easy...but he didn't always make the right kind of friends. Or brothers, but Humanity actually liked Eric, as strange as it was. That didn't mean he didn't know the kid was a bad influence.

"I don't get to hang out with some of those guys as much as I'd like to. Then again, I'm only human. Being slung around with electricity and wind doesn't seem like much fun. Heh..." He said awkwardly before thinking over his next words rather carefully. After having them he just let out a heavy sigh. "...will you be happier?" Was all he could ask. Part of him was struggling himself. Jordan was one of the last few sane people he knew. He was one of his closest friends actually. He remembered the good, the bad and the ugly. He remembered Yamm being a twit and his adventures with the two of them...although Yamm was still him...well...he didn't know anymore. He wasn't sure who he was anymore. He'd need t hear Jordan's answer though. How he felt was important, crucial in fact.

The waitress came up to take their orders. Humanity ordered his usual choice before listening to Jordan's order. Regardless of what it was he'd have the same thing. Honestly Jordan could have said he'd have wet tissues and a side of horse and Humanity would have just agreed. He checked out in a sense. Not because of anything in particular...but he seemed to be running on a slight delay. His mind heavily weighted it would seem. By time it caught back up the waitress was gone, and he shook his head, as if coming out of a daze. "Sorry. I-uh...I thought of something. What were you saying?" He asked, unsure if Jordan had actually been saying anything at all.

He should have expected the continual questions and yet that somehow did not managed to cushion the blow when they were actually asked of him. Regardless, he managed to temper the visible reaction far better than the last one, as his mind snapped to Ryan. He liked to consider them a friend, even a good friend and that was why the thought of them deserving better came to mind. "I don't know if he fully understands what's happening, but not too well I'd wager." He said, wishing it was easier. His existence was one large confusing thing, and in a sense it had just been meant to trick those around him to further some goal. How he lasted so long was something that managed to surprise him more than anything else. Why so many people cared about him, that was something that somehow managed to make this hurt even more.

If only it were possible to make them stop feeling those feelings, but he couldn't really do that, not in a clear conscience anyway. That was when the question about whether he would be happier came about.Something that managed to cut deeper than anything else, making it feel as if all his breath had been knocked out of him as he stared at the table for a moment before looking up to Matt."I don't know." He answered honestly, chewing on his lower lip, in anger, but directed towards himself. "I'm wondering if I would be happier if I didn't go along with it, or if I would be just as miserable  I just.....I don't know.." He admitted, raking his fingers through his hair and looking back down to the table. His mind went back to the incident with Sin, causing Jordan to look back up to his friend and imagine the primordial taking their form.

"I sound....like a mess now." He sighed, likely not needing to have his fried hear everything he said to get the general gist of things. Jordan chuckled softly, resting his elbows on the table and crossing his arms. "Matt I....i'm sorry...for everything." He managed, tone genuine. His eyes fell back to the table, unable to really keep contact with with his friends.