For those about to rock

A late seventies model conversion van sat hovering above a Burger King somewhere. Obviously, this wasn't a real van. Even in a world where the impossible happened regularly, that remained a massive improbably. If you read his application here, you'd know that van is actually Sweet Connie II: the cleverly disguised alien assault shuttle of Jeffrey Gibbons, better know as Captain Freedom, America's Premier Super Heroic Contractor.

Jeff sat in the cockpit of his ship with the last half of his Whopper in one hand, a tallboy of Keystone Light in the other, and his feet up on the control panel. "Jeffrey," The voice of the symbiotic source of his power, C'Ree echoed through his mind, "I wish you wouldn't fill yourself with this garbage. At least not while we both have to share this body."
"And I wish you'd shut up and quit trying to boss me around, but I don't see that happening anytime soon either." Jeff shot back out loud with a mouth full of empty calories.
"It's 3 pm, you've already consumed well over 2,000 calories today, and you're nearly intoxicated."
"What's the problem?"
"You've only been awake for 45 minutes. If we're going to both inhabit your body, I'd hope to see you take care of it."
"Well, daddy needs fuel if he's gonna keep driving this bus, buddy, so buckle up and enjoy the ride."

"I hate you."

Whatever was left of that conversation was cut short by the sudden blaring of the ships alarm system. The data appeared on control panel screen immediately, complete with surveillance camera footage. Ross Labs, one of the higher dollar security contracts the Captain managed to acquire, was being robbed by some kind of meta human sumbitch in broad daylight. That wasn't going to happen on El Jefe's watch; not with that kind of money on the line.
"Time to haul ass, Corey!" He informed his alien pal as he flipped the switch marked "haul ass" on the ships control panel, sending the ship off with startling speed.

***********************************************************

Our hero arrived to the scene in record time. He stood on the roof of Sweet Connie II as the ship's computer system slowly lowered itself down toward the building and stopped 40 feet in the air. Around one wrist he kept what was now a 4 pack of beer by the plastic rings, he held an open beer in that hand, and brought it to his mouth to guzzle some. In his other hand he held a mega phone that he spoke into, "All right, all right, folks! Your hero, Captain Freedom has arrived. Anybody that doesn't want to get involved with this should probably take off right now, before things get out of hand. And, you, that green dude causin all this trouble! Why don't you just come on and turn yourself in? because believe me, you're in over your head, brother."  He tossed the megaphone back into the ship, and issued his ship a voice command, "Turn it up as soon as I land, Connie."

Jeff jumped down from the roof, and used his unique gift of telekinesis to lower himself slowly as he chugged the rest of his can and tossed it behind him. Right on que, the van began blaring loud noise; that noise was Uncle Ted's 1977 hit "Cat Scratch Fever".

When Cyberlord had heard that Ross Labs was secretly making more like him? Suffice it to say that his initial idea had been to blow the building and everyone in it sky high. But he had made himself refrain from doing exactly that to the building because all of the gadgets and equipment there could prove to be more useful. Of course, first, he'd have to breach the building which meant he'd have to deal with the Superhuman.  "And why would I turn myself in, when my posse would like to have 'words' with you?" asked Cyberlord as he snapped his fingers. Twenty robots that had been disguised as civilians in the crowd peeled the skin off of their body and began to evacuate the real civilians from the area. At the same time, twenty heavier ones flew down that were about the size of a Hulk Buster each. Each one of them primed weapons on Captain Freedom. To say he was not happy about the arrival of Captain Freedom was the understatement of the year. The captain was too powerful for him to engage on his own unless he used his Energy Constructs as his telekinesis wasn't strong enough for such. 

Pushing a button on one of his robotic arms, one of his robots came up with an IPOD attached to speakers that began to blast an instrumental of boulevard of broken dreams. Cyberlord smirked and began forming a hard light baseball bat made out of a dark green energy that he was going to use to bat Captain Freedom away. Hopefully it would knock some sense into the Captain. His robots didn't make a move yet.  "Unlike most villains, "Captain Freedom" I don't endanger civilians. Well unless they piss me off. Which if you took a GOOD look at half the shit that Ross Labs is doing in secret... well you'd be angrier than me. Though, I decided not to kill the employees of the company, they're only doing their jobs after all. I decided instead to take their technology from them." 

The Captain watched in awe as hordes of mechanical minions made their presence known.  "Awh dang!" He exclaimed, "Connie! Turn that shit up louder, and get ready to take care of some of those big ass robots." On command the ship's turret took aim and locked on to the twenty massive robots and Ted Nugent began playing louder.
"Perhaps we should consider a retreat." C'ree chimed in telepathically
"Shut up, man, I got this." Captain Freedom muttered, seemingly to himself before addressing his new adversary, "All right, man, I don't know what these nerds could be doing in here and I doubt I'd follow an explanation, so I'm going to to give you to the count of three."
He placed his six pack on the ground and pushed up the sleeves of his jacket, "One... Two... Awh, screw it. Sucker punch!!"

At that, the Captain launched himself toward Cyberlord ready to deliver one hell of a punch to the dude's face, and he would've done it too, if Cyberlord didn't have that big green bat swinging at his face. The momentum of the construct made direct contact with his face, shattering his shades and knocking him backwards onto the ground. From there, the robot bodyguards opened fire on him all at once. If it had been one or two, El Jefe could've just shrugged the damage off, this however, was twenty. Their stream of fire was heavy and relentless, and left him flat on his back, clothing burnt and town, in a smoking crater in the cement.
"Not. Cool." He growled.
"Next time, you should probably have the ship take care of the big guys before you go rushing in." C'ree gave expert advice.
"Yeah. Live and learn, man."
"If we live. I still suggest retreating. We're clearly out gunned."
"Aint happening."

Captain Freedom hit a button on his bracelet, sending the OK to Connie to begin firing on the enemy bots, and shot himself out of the crater like a bat out of hell. Launching himself with breakneck speed, he flew directly through on of the droids behind Cyberlord, smashing it to bits. Changing course in less than a second he flew directly toward Cyberlord, ready to knock his lights out.