The Ninja Princess

Ellie had a very strange feeling in her gut the moment she arrived at her destination parking lot.

Stepping off her raven black Kawasaki Ninja, She found herself quite out of place, a fierce asian woman by herself, riding an expensive bike and wearing designer Italian leather motorcycling attire. She entered an apartment building in the heart of overcrowded Tokyo, a rather bleak middle-class structure, from a rather empty, slightly dirty parking lot. It was nine in the sunny morning, and all around were the sounds of vehicles and Japanese people. A vagrant old woman sat with three cats by the staircase. Her sign said “will work for food” was this still Japan?

“Miss Yuriko Yamanouchi, Room 605.” The apartment featured an automated check-in system, which dispensed a spare key-card for Ellie. The sparse staff was comprised of imported Filipino labourers in housekeeping uniforms carrying baskets of laundry and essential goods, conversing in English, Filipino and Japanese.

She took the key and took the small elevator up. Filing into the elevator all around her were not so young Japanese men. They were pale, some chubby and some skinny, all clearly malnourished and lacking physical activity, not to mention hygiene and grooming. They carried bags of instant ramen packs and bottled iced tea. A fellow in front of Ellie compulsively scratched the side of his head, sending scalp onto his contrasting dark shirt. They stared at the sharply dressed, confident Ellie. One of them muttered what a woman like her was doing here. The businesswoman audibly clenched her leather-gloved fist.

“Excuse me, my floor.” Ellie said in a polite japanese. She could not have disembarked from the lift sooner or with greater speed.  She walked down the extremely narrow –one arm wide-, plain white corridor, finding room 605. She knocked several times, but no answer came. She used the key to enter, and was met with a dimly lit apartment, the curtains closed. The door couldn’t open fully, as behind it were garbage bags filled with beer bottles and boxes of take out. Clothes- tank tops, shorts, leggings, female unmentionables and shoes were scattered all over the furniture. Several of the LED ceilings lights didn’t turn on properly. The kitchen sink was filled with unwashed pots, pans, dishes and cups.

Ellie looked around this...sty... and frowned in disappointment.

Ellie eventually found her former sensei sleeping off apparently a long night of drinking. The young woman had dishevelled, collar-length hair, sleeping in her couch with a comforter.  She was pretty as before, but now had aged rather ungracefully, sprawled and drooling on her couch, bags under her eyes.“Yuriko!” She exclaimed.

“Eheh? Ellie...chan?... kia!” The woman rolled out of her sofa and onto her clothes on the floor, with a rather loud thud.

“A-ta-ta...my head...” Yuriko massaged her head as she slowly got to her feet. She shielded her eyes as Ellie opened the curtains, letting in the morning light. Now that she stood up, Ellie had a good look at the princess. The girl was wearing heels, a shirt, and had no pants, and hello kitty underwear. One sleeve was rolled up to her armpit. Yuriko was moderately covered in tattoos of ninja weapons.

“Yuriko...What... happened?” Ellie’s normally stoic face and calm voice expressed very rare surprise, moderate disgust and earnest concern. And a little humor. The conversation continues in Japanese.

“What do you mean? I turned 21 and moved out.” Yuriko shrugged with her carefree response, and tip-toed woozily around her messy apartment. She found herself a pair of denim shorts, short enough that the pockets were longer- and slipped them on.

Ellie had an enormous, obsessive-compulsive urge to start cleaning the place right away. She refrained, and looked at Yuriko as she struggled with putting on her pants. “You’re 25 now. You’re the heir of a powerful ninja clan; how on earth do you just ‘move out?’ This is... completely unexpected.”

“I know. I’m gifted like that. You can never anticipate ninja princesses act-bleeeeegh!” Ellie covered her face and looked away as Yuriko heaved brownish vomit all over her clothes. Thankfully they protected the dirty living room carpet.

After cleaning Yuriko’s dinner off her shirt and face, and cleaning the princess up to be presentable as a human being, in a large sweater, shorts and designer knee high boots, Ellie summoned a cleaning company to the apartment. The staff entered, greeted Ellie and Yuriko, and went to work, tidying up the place. Ellie rolled her eyes. This was going to be... a monumental challenge.

Ellie and Yuriko descend to the ground floor of the apartment complex, the floor a tight maze of unwashed bodies and businesses- food, electronics, consumer goods, pharmacy and the like. Out in front was a cosplay cafe, with a comic book and hobby store beside it.

Ellie and Yuriko avoid the filled cafe where the staff dressed up as ninjas from a popular anime that’s STILL ongoing since the early 2000’s. Instead, they head to the more secluded, though still filled Ramen shop, greeted at the door by a tanned, aging Japanese gentleman dressed as a chef with a thick blue sweater, and seated on a stool by the store’s beverage vending machine. Ellie and Yuriko, with the former’s help, return his bow and entered. There was a distinct shortage of young people in Japan, it seemed.

“...Have you at least contacted trainers like I requested?” Elli asked, their orders placed before them- each woman was given two bowls, one containing the soup filled with meat, mushrooms, soft tofu and vegetables, and another enormous bowl of shiny, silky alkaline noodles. Ellie snaps her chopsticks and begins eating at a moderate pace. She swipes away Yuriko’s bottle of booze.

“I notified them as soon as you e-mailed me. They should be arriving... soon.” Yuriko had proven reliable in that matter at least, but whined that her Japanese Brew was taken from her. She slurped up some soup from the bowl, holding it to her mouth and not bothering with a soup spoon. Ellie looks at her, eyes rolling and eats in peace.

"We don't have a facility though." Ellie said, though the answer wasn't quite a disappointment.

"Nonsense! who trains at gyms anymore. We're in Tokyo baby! One needs only the right timing to find an opportunity to train."


Hours later when the trainers arrive, be it in the afternoon or evening they'd find Yuriko in her living room playing on a classic PlayStation 2, while Ellie cheerfully works the punching bag in the next room.

Europe was most definitely where the assassin from the south would love to stay in place but this was something he could not afford to miss out on – this was a chance he had to not only become a bit more at peace and strength but, also to find another purpose besides killing here and there for a few thousand. Admitted he didn’t get this information by chance or a billboard, you honestly have to not only be well connected but have a reputation for yourself like for an example, being an assassin doesn’t seem like much but picture an assassin on its way to capture or kill a target.


The target is well aware and sends assassins to deal with the assassin coming to deal with them; Meaning you have to deal with assassins of all kinds trying to murder you, and then proceed to finish your mission. Well his assassin profile is pretty active but it did get enough attention to sign up for all kinds of events and tournaments that Sixteen used to participate in back in the old days.

“Tokyo eh? I’m glad they still exist … Alright I’m off!”

Spoke out loud the current assassin as his eyes focused on the building bellow him which was his target, of non-hostility – Meaning he didn’t have to kill anybody, this was far too important for anything of the sorts. Besides this was a different area, what if the Asian police was tough as fuck and actually managed to take him out? It’s only been a few missions in Asia but that was with a squad back in the day. Oh you wanna know where he was standing?


A helicopter, where did he get it he’ll never tell but he only did it this way because it was so many people in the street he couldn’t even imagine trying to walk to the building. His feet slowly made a tippy toe formation before he pushed his body weight forward into a fall – Assassin’s creed call it a leap of faith but in his case with a pare shoot on his back in which he activated descending down watching everyone in their apartments.


He made it to ground level, through the stairs and to the room stationed and did a slight three knock. His attire was literally a black and white suit on like he was dressed up for a dance down to his nice dress shoes with a mask on. Whoever would open the door would see Sixteen do something he probably hasn’t done ever … bow with his head down. “Present” He spoke in honor without even looking at whoever it was before they even spoke.

Evil always looked differently in Japan. Bigger eyes, oddly proportionate bodies, emotions over the head. None of these people had any of these features, yet Elaine knew evil rested somewhere in this city. She walked the streets as a passenger of life. It was a fast train with little visibility, and most likely a short track. But, then again, so are most lives worthy of walking through a playground full of children in a cowgirl hat and two revolvers. Some of these children did possess oddly disproportionate bodies, but it didn't matter now. For now, she wandered the path of enlightenment like a train breaking off the rails. Or, as Elaine called it "Shut Up".

"You just wrote 'shut up' on the patent order." Trumping along the road to perdition with out of prioritized objections, the ever present to an audience of one dog kept stride with his companion.

"Cowgirl code. It writes itself." Everyone fleeing the playground, but Elaine remembered innocent people don't run. She stopped.

"We have somewhere we need to be."

"Just go to the bathroom on your own. It won't even leave a smell."

"Observant, but no. We got a note saying to go to, you know what, I'm just going to skip the triviality. All these evil doers escaping your justice are working for some poor unfortunate soul in the apartments on the otherside of town."

"Well what are we waiting for?"

Two hours of walking later, and the swift justice of Elaine turned into a slow crawl. While practical for combat and work, cowgirl boots gave very little to the question of comfort in the affirmative. "Can I make a pair of shoes out of you?"

"No. And, I mean that in physicality and as a just plain 'no.'" Out of the observable effect of every other living organism on Earth, save the one he disliked most, the corgi continued his eternal pace of just the right speed.

"Is this the right place?"

"I don't read squiggly lines."

"That one looks like a lantern." Elaine pointed towards the signs above the complex to illuminate the choice of decisions she planned on making. "Is that what we're looking for?"

"Oddly yes. Now we just need to find room numbers. A horizontal line is a 'one'. We need three lines with a 'plus sign' first."

The corridor smelled of evil and stale liquid. Probably a little of ill intentions too. Elaine could ask her corgi later. For now she needed some advice from a local. Tapping into one of Elaine's hidden talents, she looked to gather a piece of advice from a Filipino child. With a practiced dialect hanging from her words, she gathered the boys attention to the possible danger facing her. "I'll give you a 'Hello Kitty' buck if you go down that alleyway and tell me what's in there."

"Is that what you think the Japanese use as currency?"

"Looks creepy." Backing away from the oddly dressed woman, the boy began to retreat before Elaine grabbed him.

"Listen, there's nothing evil down there, because evil is dumb, and dumb things are afraid of the dark. So you shouldn't be scared."

"Aren't you afraid of the dark?"

"I bought a nightlight. It's called gazing into the abyss. Google it." As her grip lessened to reprimand the child, the boy slipped away and made his way to the safety of anywhere not near Elaine. "We lost our lead. He ran behind that door with the 'plus sign' and the three dumb lines."

"Whomever is in that room knows where, I don't know, whatever I told you to lure you here is."

"I'll find out what a lure is." Pulling out a gun and taking a malevolent step, Elaine shadow jumped through the door to come into the apartment that could be the source of all the air pollution in the complex, neigh, Tokyo. Looking to the television, Elaine spotted a number of aggressive looking adversaries moving in a menacing manner. She lowered her gun and fired into the television twice.

"Why did you shoot it twice?"

"Better than shooting it once."

"Why did you shoot it once?"

"Can't get to twice without once. Now that I've saved your dumb life. I have questions. First of all, what am I looking for?"

The door opens for Sixteen, and before him was the Ninja Princess... who really didn’t look the part. Yuriko, sporting only a big shirt and shorts underneath, her hair in a mess, looks at him rather strangely.

“Ah yes. Hello. Come in. Leave your shoes. I’m playing some Vengeance:Revenge of the Samurai.” Yuriko switches to her halting Engrish to speak to Sixteen. She grabs a pair of comfy pink Hello Kitty slippers from the cabinet for him.

“Who is that?” Called a voice from the gym area.

“Your sparring partner. Figure you could use some pacing during training.” Yuriko was more comfortable speaking in Japanese, but was really amazed at how Ellie seemed to be the more authentic Japanese speaker between them.

“That is Miss Ellie Wong. She is training right now with weights. But you must be tired. We have beer and iced tea in refrigerator.” Yuriko’s engrish was halting and deliberate, but intelligible enough. She invites Sixteen inside the apartment and points out where the bathroom, kitchen and storage were. As the only man present, Sixteen was given the other bedroom, while the girls slept in one room. Of course, his room was naturally smaller and had only a single window, was sparsely furnished and barely 10 feet wide... but it was clean.

Yuriko resumes her game, where the blue samurai faced off against the red samurai on a bridge, the entire castle burning around them.

“You killed my father! Now I am here for my revenge! For vengeance!” Said the subtitles of the Blue Samurai, and for anyone who understood spoken Japanese.

“Foolish samurai. Your teacher lied to you. I am your fa-”

Gunshots ring out and destroy the TV, ending the video game prematurely. Yuriko spews her cold beer onto anyone unfortunate to be sitting next to her while she played, shocked that Elaine had just walked in and shot up her wide screen plasma TV.

“Are you crazy?!” Yuriko exclaimed in Japanese, tossing her gaming remote at Elaine, and probably an empty beer can or two as well.

“...I heard gunshots? What’s going on here?” Ellie came out of the adjacent apartment which had been converted into a fully equipped gym with living quarters, connected to Yuriko’s own habitat. Ellie noted that it had only been a few hours since the apartment was treated by a professional cleaning crew, and it was already starting to pile up with rubbish. The woman herself was wearing a tank top and her training pants, and was covered in a thin layer of sweat. Ellie was muscular and fit for her age; though her body was also covered in the scars of a warrior who’d fought many, many battles over her lifetime.

“Elaine shot up my TV! And I was at the Boss fight already!” Yuriko pouted like a little kid whose candy was taken from her, pointing a shaky finger at the offender.

“I see. And why did this Elaine shoot the TV?” Ellie looked at Elaine, her supercomputer glasses taking a photo of Elaine and starting to run an automated background check for information about her.

“Cuz She’s nuts and talks to a ghost dog.” Yuriko pouted, still in her Kansai accent, gathering up her rubbish of discarded bags of chips and putting them into a bowl.

“I’ll call the police.” Ellie took out her cellular device and began dialling.

“Don’t bother; she’s your main instructor.” Yuriko said, going into the kitchen to replace her empty bottle of booze and throw her garbage.

“Well, I can’t say it’s a pleasant first meeting. I’m Elisheva Wong, by the way. I look forward to what sort of training you can deliver. And yes, I am paying for all of it. Whatever kind of payment you want, within reason. Cash, consumer goods, cars, bikes, house, government favors...” Ellie took a moment to process what Yuriko said, but remained fairly civil and extended a hand to Elaine, as well as her possible payment options.

His eyes were admittedly and honorable closed for a small duration of the time he was down. His heart was beating so loud in his ears could barely hear the faint foot steps moving cl- wait Sixteen could most definitely hear foot steps getting closer to the door. He could notice his sweat increasing on the palms of his hands,which is a pretty faint thing to notice but aawareness is never a bad thing at all. Moment of truth like a mother fucker. The foot steps got so loud it was almost unbearable until they stopped and then Sixteen eyes shot open in confusion. It only took a split two seconds before more movement was noticed right beyond that door. This door that could possibly change his world inside out, the door nub began to turn slowly. First thing that slammed shut was Sixteen eyes. He read to do this shit on the internet, this wasn't ready his style - he liked trying something different from time to time.

BACK TO THE STORY STOP SIDE TRACKING ME DAMN !


The stranger pulled the door and slowly he felt and  could see sunlight from his skin and from under his eye lids.The light got to its brightest form and the sound of a doors movement came to a stop. His position was very strong, he held it with honor ... then came the smell of womens shampoo and alcohol mixed, then he heard the voice. He assumed it was either a lightfooted ninja, a child or a female - guess who's right? Once allowed access he stood up a full stand of 6'1 very muscular under his rather dashing suit. His mask and glove extended so far no one could even give a guess of his ethically. Using his toes he pushed his shoes off  before picking them up and walking inside the apartment. The teenager who opened the door gave no name, just an invitation inside and s look and tone of understanding and a bit of expectations.



He chooses to walk in his dress soaks, as he got inside he couldn't help but to sense the place with everything they had slowly. Mentally noting that he didn't see anything ninja like yet, he had a feeling this was going to turn into a sleep over and he was NOT ready for a sleep over. He stood close to the teenager, ninja princess who didn't tell him yet and then before he could say anything another appeared! Bam and the TV was shot & instantly he jumped in front of the teen to protect her as she then he moved back in his spot once he noticed it wasn't a threat. So far no enemies just strangers, pretty good in his book if I say so myself as his maker. He heard the teen say the person name, then his brain began searching files through files of his brain trying to match the name to a face.



She speaks, his ears ring and slowly on his left side he does a complete three sixty turn and was almost stunned in amazement. His eye balls were completely visible, he couldn't hide his emotions like a true ninja, he'll get it sooner or later. He awaits for her to finish speaking as he almost lodt all interest in anything else. He didn't know what to say at first, this  was not fear lets not get this confused ... he was getting excited ? Yeah that's it. He made a few steps in front of her and gives her a small nod before speaking.

"Greetings Ms. Wong - You are the Red Scorpion. I've done my research on you a couple of times, after all I got your contract before. I never thought I'd ever see you in front of my eyes. Quite a turn of events. Pleasure meeting with you"

Shattered glass and charred plastic summoned forth the others within the apartment. From the makeshift arrangement of furniture, a training area opened before the quartet of participants of some sort of involvement. "I think they want you to train one of the Asian people."

"Because my track record in that field is impeccable." The shock coming from he sudden entrance twisted any semblance of stability that existed before hand. Possibly under the stack of thrown away pizza boxes covered with socks.

"Get over yourself. They probably just need this place cleaned or something."

"You need to train the younger one, who for some reason can here me, in what you just did to that TV."

"This is a dumb surprise party."

"This isn't a surprise. Three people told you: I overheard them and told you; the looks on people's faces should be telling you..."

"Wait, are you a genie?" Moving from the spirit animal back to the realm of the living, Elaine tried to add some clarity to the situation. "If you're a genie you have to tell me, otherwise it's entrapment."

"What the hell have you been doing to genies?"

"But, if you are we 're looking for one of those dumb Satan worship board with the little guitar pic with the window. It has words and numbers on it."

"It's called a Ouija board."

"It's called a Squeegee board."

"I hate my life."

"You don't live."

"I hate my existence."

"You don't exist."

"I hate you."

"Now you're just projecting from your own life." Moving to converse elsewhere, Elaine turned back to Ellie. "So I just teach Kung pow chicken how to fight and I get the stupid thing to talk to dead people?"

Elaine grabbed Yuriko by the arm and shadow jumped with her into the next room with Yuriko in tow. Shifting the momentum into Yuriko's body, Elaine would push the girl back towards the punching bag and bring her pistol to fire four bullets around Yuriko. One impacted directly beneath her feet, two more a few feet on either side of her, and one bullet three feet behind her. With a quick twirl of her gun hand, Elaine loaded one more into the chamber with lightning fast reflexes and a round discharged halfway between Elaine and Yuriko. "This exercise is called 'don't get blown up'. Four of these bullets are explosive rounds and the other is just a smoke round. I'm going to press this button and we're going to see if you can pick which one of the bullets is safe to stand over and which ones blow up." Elaine pressed her finger to the ignition trigger on the side of her gun. "Ready. Go!"

The round beneath Yuriko, to her right, behind her, and in between her and Elaine would all explode leaving only the bullet to the left a safe place to stand. Not wanting to be a victim of her own training exercise, Elaine would shadow jump to the safety of the smoke bullet and see if the ninja princess would join her in the cloud of smoke, instead of a cloud in Heaven.

“Well...” Ellie concluded the only way others would know her identity was by the treachery of that supernatural fiend who called herself Misaki. Ellie adjusted her glasses and coolly denied it.

“...The Red Scorpion is a notorious international arms dealer and mercenary. I am a simple businesswoman and philanthropist. There is no way I would be associated with someone like that...” She paused and looked at Sixteen in the eye.

“...A dangerous criminal who has a reputation for silencing those he’s associated with. So, what may I call you then? I do not think Yuriko did not quite introduce you.”  Ellie then turned to Elaine, who was talking to... something. Apparently she wanted an Ouija board. She turned to Sixteen. “Can you wait a moment, it seems we have a most lively guest.”

Events moved quickly as Elaine wasted no time to leap into a subdimensional plane that defied Ellie’s scientific instruments. She walked over to the training area and witnessed Elaine shooting up the floor mats, threatening the soon-to-be pulped Yuriko, who was now very much coherent stepping away from the bullets. “Stupid Elaine! We’re not training me!” She spouted in Japanese, but Elaine already triggered the explosives.

Inside the smoke cloud, several chains emerged from Elaine's blind spots and grasped at Elaine’s limbs, attempting to hold her down with a mystic force. Yuriko turned to the Corgi spirit, “how do you deal with her?” She asked, massaging her head, her ears ringing from the explosions.

Ellie’s eye twitched subtly from seeing Elaine’s conduct. The extremely cold, logical woman could only surmise that Elaine was mentally unstable, but then again finding fighting instructors for herself was an arduous task, and was bound to produce something completely out of the ordinary. Ellie thought about training with her old Ghurkha teacher... and decided Elaine would still be safer.

Ellie opened the training room’s control panel then flipped a switch, causing ventilation fans to suck out the air. Yes, Ellie had pre-empted the adjacent apartment and had environmental controls installed.

She approached the hopefully restrained Elaine, and spoke in a clear manner to her.

“...Alright enough. Miss... Elaine... was it? I’m the one who requires training, not miss Yuriko here. I am the one who wears glasses, and Yuriko is the one who smells like beer. If I find you an Ouija Board, will you train me? I am willing to endure whatever it takes to advance my skill.”

“I have a spare one. I’ll sell it to you. I want a hundred million yen.” Yuriko volunteered, apparently not requiring concentration to maintain her binding spell.

Ellie frowned at the prospect of wasting money. “I’ll give you co-ownership of a small, private brewery I own in Osaka.Fire Dragon Beer and Sake.”

“NOOOOO. Get out of here. You own Fire Dragon Beer and Sake? I thought they tanked.” Yuriko said in Japanese, in disbelief. Ellie tilted her head at Yuriko, subtly asking her if she ever joked. Yuriko let out a hearty laugh.

“Deal. Let me go get it... it’s there somewhere in the back.” Yuriko runs off, only then do her chains retreat into the floor as two dimensional drawings... then crawl up into Yuriko's clothes, returning as tattoos on her body.

Ellie and Elaine were left in the room together from then on.

Well, technically that was the first thing she said to him in regards was already more then enough evidence; Despite the fact that he already bypassed everything he knew but he wasn't going down - he knew that she knew he knew. Sixteen listened to what she had to say before giving a  chuckle admitting that the game was on inside of his head. Before Red Scorpion  could get a proper introduction, there was a disturbance yet again by the same source as the last time. Not quite his style, once realizing that the girl with the guns could not only possibly be a bit of a threat but can do some kind of mystical shit that Sixteen noticed as teleportation. 16 was now standing in the living room by his self thinking of ways to figure out is this going to be a Mystical thing or something strange. He reached out to grab his suit jacket before undoing the buttons until he was able and In doing so effectively taking his jacket coat off.



Body movement of the arms grabbed hold of the top button on his collared shirt which stuck to him ever so lightly, began to undo those buttons as well. Effectively taking his shirt off his body was now half medieval ninja and half business man looking. He took his pants off as quickly as possible before grabbing all his clothes and throwing them into the room where he would be staying for the night. Looking at himself in the mirror, you definitely couldn't see his skin, everything was covered. He found himself walking into the training room, and upon arrival he slid his body against the wall and sat with his legs crossed before closing his eyes as he began to talk. He sounded so wise, like he was a master!

"In Battle, be sure that Combat is the answer to the solution. Clear your mind of mental distractions; Discard your fear, boil your confidence ... Then explode it!"

Once the cloud of smoke cleared, Elaine became more aware of her inability to move. Chains wrapped her upper body up tightly and restrained her from moving- or shadow jumping. Squirming around gave Elaine the enlightenment she needed in the grip of her hand. "You still didn't win the test." One bullet rang out breaking the chains around her legs. "You didn't win because I don't know exactly how to win, but the chains are pretty cool." Prying her gun in between her torso and the chains, Elaine freed herself in the best way she knew how. After the chains fell to the floor, Elaine looked over to Ellie. "If you didn't want me to train her, why didn't you say so?"

Before the corgi could respond the new onlooker in his life, he turned his head to the man sitting against the wall and looked back to Elaine. "She hasn't asked you not to train anyone else in the room. It's like not shooting a TV, it shouldn't have to be said."

"That guy is wearing ninjaface. Samurai propaganda from Kabuki made them out to look like that because samurai wanted to portray them as villains. You're literally shrouded in ignorance. You look like a villain for unintended reasons." Elaine kicked the chains away and stepped back.

"Wow, you found a social cause to justice, and it's actually worse than not caring at all. Didn't you just barge into a room and shoot people on a TV screen for looking like that?"

"I was cleansing the world of ignorance."

"Shooting a TV does in someway accomplish that, but I doubt you meant it that..."

"I can tell Asian people apart. They're not the difference between an 'A-' and an 'F' to your parents."  Elaine twirled her guns and holstered them back. "You're an older, more Chinese Bliss Fokukama, and she's a dumber, meaner Tyuki Gold. Case solved, now let's talk payment. It has to be made from some dumb magic tree in Japan, some even dumber bird guy is guarding, but it doesn't even make sense, because Ouija boards aren't even a Japanese thing."

"Ame is probably going through some Japanophile anime phase."

"It's okay when you're in high school, and to some regards in college, but after that it is just sad."

"For real. Let's burn it in front of her when we get back."

"That would make this dumb trip worth it. Also, I want signed Girl Alive! album and a kimono."

"You're really taking advantage of these resources she has."

Elaine moved her finger to the top of her upper lip. "Be quiet, that other girl can hear you breaking my leverage." With her compromise now rebuked, Elaine turned back to Ellie. "When are we training? Oh yeah, and I remember how to win that exercise now. I only detonated three of the explosive rounds." Elaine brought her gun back out and pressed the button to send out the signal for the fourth round to go off.

Ellie gave Sixteen a curious glance as he spouted some pseudo-warrior poetics. She wonders what Yuriko had in mind with him. Waiting for Yuriko to return, Ellie takes out her mobile and begins making calls. She stood at the window waiting for her ward to pick up, which took a few rings, knowing Xia busied herself with chores, cooking and other things that seemed trivial to Ellie. A Chinese girl’s voice answered on the other end.

“...Xia. Would it be alright if you parted with one of your albums? That girl band... yes... Girl Alive... It’s complicated... Okay, I’ll get you tickets to their next concert... thank you. Have it mailed to Japan.” Ellie ended the call, and then turned to Elaine with little fuss.

“I know a traditional Kimono making who’ll make you whatever you want, or we can buy something off the shelf. I’ll have a Limo drive you there when you have free time.” She said, then resuming waiting for the ninja princess... which took awhile.

Yuriko stumbled back to the training area a little later than Ellie had the patience for, but just in time before Ellie was about to go find her. She was carrying a rather large bottle of sake.

“...Uhm... I don’t... we’re fresh out of Chinese boards...” She said, her very accent heavy engrish coming out as a vague blurb of words and alcoholic spittle. Ellie holds her up by the shoulder to steady her.

“Can you find someone who does? The occult is not within my realm of study.” She asked, giving Yuriko a good shake. Yuriko remained inebriated.

“We’ll have to get a sorcerer to make a new one... unless Elaine can do it herself, with a blank piece of wood...” Yuriko said, covering her mouth as she burped.

“And where do we obtain the requisite material?” Ellie was quick to ask the important questions, to get things done. Favors for favors.

“Well... I dunno... not like... there’s a haunted, ancient Japanese Castle around... where Ronin pirates brought people were slaughtered by the hundreds, and then had a mass burial under near tree...” Yuriko said, blinking a few times as she recounted a place she visited that had the wood they were looking for.

Ellie knew it in a snap. “The Temple of the Moon, near Osaka. I’ll go retrieve a piece of the tree immediately.” She took out her mobile device once more and called for her plane to fly to just above the apartment.

“And take... take the ninja wanna-be with you. Ellie. Gotta learn to... work with others sometimes. Play... play nice...” Yuriko said, before stumbling over to Elaine’s companion, her face red as a tomato. “Come here little doggy... Yuriko won’t hurt you...”  Yuriko fell flat on her face, snoring. The fierce businesswoman stared with the mildest scorn.

“And it’s just lunchtime. Well, you heard her. We’re off to that island.” Ellie paused. “...if you’re hungry I have food on the plane.” Before she left, Ellie handed Elaine a platinum debit card, containing an enormous budget, to do as she wills while they were away.

Ellie went up to the roof. It took only a matter minutes for the stealthy plane to arrive, hovering over the penthouse. Ellie climbed up into the plane on a steel rope ladder, and the plane was off in a boom, flying straight up as it sped towards its destination.

While Ellie and Sixteen were away, a chauffeur comes to Elaine to drive her to the kimono maker, and anywhere else she fancied.

A few days later

Ellie returns to the apartment, slightly worse for wear, smelling of the sea and of the grave. Her eyes showed rare emotion from the stoic woman. She held the large piece of wood taken from the tree. She hands it unceremoniously to Yuriko and heads to her room to rest and recover. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Door Slam.

Meanwhile, Elaine's Autographed CD also arrives via express courier, bubble-wrapped and placed in a large box with shredded styrofoam.

Conversation brewed on between everyone else but the lonely assassin, but of course there were no kinds of reasons for sixteen to even give a fuck about whatever it was for them. He didn’t hear much of anything, just maintaining the focus he had left beyond the extreme gunfire and drunken teenagers walking around he decided with no other life in mind to stay in place. His eyes just watching humans act in manners they know best. His identifier went off shortly after as he got a mental visual of pretty much what they were talking about before the rich and slutty princess Red Scorpion and himself had just not too long ago acquired a mission no doubt. Sixteen body sprung out from mr. Knowledge to almost ready to fight in seconds, though Sixteen was always ready to fight it was just a statement no doubt. His feet back on the ground again, regaining his breathing he didn’t say anything he awaited a few seconds.


After before following her directly to the roof, no emotion shown or given between either one of them for the most part. As his body met the embrace of the outside world again he felt a bit at ease, his ninja uniform most definitely pushes itself lightly where ever the wind allowed it – along with the limitations of them staying close to his body almost like a magnet. The sounds of faint helicopter or some kind of plane was slowly making its way to their direction, Sixteen studied people like the Red Scorpion – So he wasn’t surprised when he figured out that was what they were riding in. He just wanted to make this quick and do his job, no emotional attachments and no kind of problems – he hopped that this wasn’t an ambush because he wasn’t having it … not this time. He got on the plane with Red Scorpion and they took off into the air – He just hopped he didn’t have to kill anyone … someone … or everyeone.

Elaine got the first part of her dumb gift and then received the second from a mailbound courier. For all purposes it felt like she was on the up and up, but then she needed to do things. For some reason asking for a kimono means you have to go get it yourself. It took roughly fifteen seconds of flipping through the album to realize Girl Alive! didn't write 'Who let the dogs out", so Elaine tossed the album and assumed her counterparts were dumb for devoting their energy to it.

Japan looked less animated in person. And shorter.

After getting her proper measurements, both with and without guns, to get her proper fitting cowgirl kimono. The silk blended really well with the rough texture of the boots, but the midsection felt too tight, so Elaine merely spoke poorly of the seamstress to her spirit companion, initially forgetting people could still hear her, and then remembering the feelings of others shouldn't get in the way of pointing out weird moles located within the forehead. People have to stare right at that. Go to a dermatologist; everyone says this behind their backs, Elaine is just nice enough to say this curtly to their face.

For some reason making kimonos took more time, so Elaine took the credit card and put it to its best use. Once she cracked the side of the door open the credit card she leveraged the lock with could no longer swipe, but Elaine could now walk through the halls and uncover sinister danger.

Yada yada yada. The ghost of that tengu was really asking for it if you hear Elaine's side of the story.

Alas, Elaine got her kimono. Then she forgot about training Ellie and the world outside of Japan. And, most of the world in Japan. "Ninjas are just a symbol for the emotional repression of this culture."

"I think that school girl with the tentacle monster is showing emotion I don't want to comprehend." A poster cascaded the windows of an adult bookstore catering mostly to the animated criteria.

"Why do I keep thinking about ninjas? Deja vu or something."

"That isn't how those words should be used, and you're supposed to be training a lady who for some reason hangs out with a ninja who for some reason can hear me."

"Think she's going to want this card back."

"I'm pretty sure she parted with it once she came to terms with who she was giving it to."

With the aid of GPS, Limo services and Ellie's own determination to get training, Elaine was either brought back to the apartment, or Ellie had to follow Elaine through the urban jungle to get trained on the spot. The no nonsense business woman was beginning to realize that tracking down the cowgirl was an exercise in itself, given the dangers Danger frequently found herself in.

Sixteen meanwhile, alternated the days sparring with Ellie and training with Yuriko, who more often than not, was inebriated as she demonstrated the basics of ninja skills to him. Surviving a drunken ninja handling bladed weapons was part of his education. As well as taking her home too. Yuriko also put in a little training for Ellie, though most of it covered espionage, and loud, angry discussions about putting Yuriko into a detoxification and rehabilitation program. Ellie surmised her mentor had a problem, as this alcoholism was a symptom, not the illness itself. But, like any tight lipped ninja, she offered no light on the subject.

It was only out of respect that Ellie refrained from attacking Elaine directly to get her to fight; two weeks of this cat-and-mouse game would pass before anything more significant would occur.

Two Weeks of Training Later

It is early morning and Yuriko, in a rare fit of sobriety, awoke early. This of course, meant that she was already looking for her next fix. With Ellie having replaced everything in the apartment with healthy, whole foods, it meant a trip to the local grocery.

Yuriko did not return that day. On the second day, when the princess was still missing, Ellie quickly had her allies and resources in the city looking; but the woman of hard science would not be able to pick up the supernatural shadow messenger standing amidst Yuriko's guests.

Two Weeks of Training Later ~

Still residing in Japan, the experience to generalize it was quite unlike what others would expect. As his ninja training went on he learned about the mystical world and for the fuck of it him and his drunken sensei went around beating up heroes and villains in japan for target practice purposes. He got to mentally master the Asia landscape, so he could add this place down for targets for hire in the near future; he was starting to get a feeling that the purpose of training wasn’t as safe as it seemed. His mind absorbed all he could; body endured and strengthens in a time where he felt was divine. His location was on the roof, of the apartment where he first met all these wonderful women in. On the edge, legs hanging and dangling enjoying the weather lightly, he wasn’t thinking of anything in particular but just himself. Heart rate and breathing were at normal levels, he could feel his muscles and veins on a course of indifference. Ninja got up and began to make his way slowly to the apartment of where all his ninja fuck buddies were hanging out, he wasn’t there yet and he expected to walk in on something very crazy.

For some reason this Chinese chick wouldn't leave Elaine alone. She must not know what important things Elaine was up to. Like making up important things to do. Well, at least she got her kimono, now if she could find a time machine, she would could fit in with this culture. "I should get a school girl outfit."

"The internet couldn't handle it."

"The internet is out of touch with reality."

"The Internet is reality. Life is just a collection of experiences playing out for the examination of the Internet."

"Blowin' my mind corgi." Crowded streets never parted for anyone, but the flow never ceased. You picked one direction, followed it, and stopped paying attention to where you were supposed to be. Elaine wondered if those ethics got Japan so technologically advanced.

"I feel like our efforts are being more trivial than normal."

"That's a stupid word, because now I don't know what you mean."

"We're walking in circles."

"If I Googled trivial I doubt that's what it would mean."

"We're now talking in them too."

"Walking and talking is dangerous at the same time. You forget Chinese ladies are following you if you talk for too long. Luckily, you're a really boring person to listen to."

The circling flow of enlightenment, technology, and Google could never fully circle the sheer magnitude of Japan. In the time the duo would need to span the full width of the city, the banality of their meager conversations would eventually fall into repetition and completely replay themselves again and again. "I understand the universe now."

"I'm so proud."