The Inquisitor and the Pale Cross [featuring Volt]

The street lights illuminated the damp streets of New York City, but there were still alleys of darkness in which evil crept. Not just any sort of evil, no. The kind of evil that electrocuted old ladies for cigarettes, and melted people's brains for a laugh. The maniacal villain Volt was having a night out, just to see what kind of shit he could get himself into. After a few hours of mindless murder, he decided to take a break from the slaughter to have himself a nice joint. As the blue haired psychopath slipped into the alleyway, he bumped into a trash can, causing an echo across the empty streets. Lighting the joint, Volt took a big hit and exhaled. Suddenly, he heard a voice from somewhere he couldn't see, asking him to show himself or face god's might.

"Listen man, I don't want no trouble, and I'm pretty sure I'm already goin' to Hell." Volt said with a grin, using his lightning to light up the alleyway. "I already got my share of murderin' in today, I just wanna smoke this joint. If you wanna join me, there's enough weed to go around." He walked up to the figure before him, in some kind of weird robes. "I hope you don't mind, I haven't been to confession in a while, on account of the whole rapist priest thing." he cackled, sticking out his hand. "The names Jacob Cross, but the people I kill usually call me Volt."

A confession. Volt laughed out loud. He didn't expect the priest guy to take him seriously, and now he was asking for a goddamned confession. This guy was kind of a weirdo, but who was Volt to judge? "Alright man you got a deal. I'll confess. But you won't like what you hear!" he said, wiping a tear from his eye. He took another hit from his joint, blowing the smoke in the priest guy's face. Jake took a moment to think; he had done a lot of shit, so where to start?

"Well, it all started when I killed my parents. Cue flashback." he laughed, remembering the moment with joy. "After that I just started killin' all sorts of people. Fat ones, short ones, lumpy ones, grumpy ones, anyone! I stole lots and lots of money, but now I don't really need it anymore 'cause I work for this evil witch chick Elena Marie who gives me all the shit I want, and my best friend is super rich. It's pretty cool, we're searching for these magical thingies that will give us lots of weed or something. Or at least that's what Elena told me I would get when we got them all!" Volt paused to breath, then continued. "But anyways, I kill people in all sorts of ways, all the time, I smoke weed every fuckin' day, I beat up old ladies for their shitty cigarettes and stale candy, and I fuck bitches on the REG!!" he cackled, taking yet another hit of the joint. "Oh and I made a guy shit himself once. Not to mention that time I killed everyone in a movie theatre just because the movie sucked... But hey, that one wasn't my fault, They never should have made a Star Wars Eleven. It's just unnecessary." The maniacal blue haired fiend had a completely straight face after this comment, looking the Inquisitor directly in the eyes. "I take my Star Wars fucking seriously. If I ever see Jar Jar Binks in person, I will personally rip his intestines out his ass."

As Volt finished talking, he started to get paranoid. It may have been the weed, but he was starting to think this guy was a hero... And he had just admitted to a lot of very bad things. Not only that, but he had mentioned Shade, and it's leader. Whoops. Volt thought. Taking one last drag of his joint before tossing it to the ground, Jacob absorbed the electricity from everything in the surrounding area. Bright blue streams of electricity flowed from the street lamps, cars, and any outdoor devices directly to Volt, lighting up the area. "Listen, man. I didn't want any trouble. But you're starting to weird me out. Now don't fuck with me, or I'll fuck you up TWICE as hard as Jar Jar." Jake said, his electricity lashing out and destroying a dumpster across the alley. The Inquisitor turned to look at what Volt had destroyed, and with him looking the other way, Volt took off. He ran for twenty eight blocks before he stopped to take a breath.

Now, where were we? Jacob thought to himself, now out of danger. He took out another joint and lit it up. Smiling and sitting down on some steps in front of a building, Jake puffed on the joint. After a few minutes of happily puffing away, he heard a voice. "Excuse me sir, what do you think you're doing?" Volt turned around to see a cop, mustache and all, looking him in the face. Looking up at the building behind him, he realized he was sitting in front of the police station. "Fuck me man." he laughed before grabbing the officer's throat and electrocuting him to death. Two more cops came outside and started yelling at Volt, but he didn't care. They each got a bolt of lightning to the face before Volt took off running again this time all the way back to Tek and his apartment. "Hey Craig! I'm home nigga!" he shouted before kneeling down to pet Spike, Tek's robot dog. With no reply from Tek, he assumed he was home alone. Walking outside, there were six naked bitches in the hot tub, and sitting next to them was Tek. "Hello Craig and Helllloooooooo babes!"