A Long Way from Home

Sonny never imagined he would ever willingly go to Canada in his life, but here he was in good old Montreal trying to track down another criminal and put an end to their evil ways. Sonny's methods might have been questionable, but they undoubtedly showed results. He could simply be part of law enforcement and play by the rules all he wanted, but that would stop nothing. A criminal could bribe their way out of prison, but you can't bribe death. Especially in the form of a sword traveling at 40 miles per hour aimed at your neck. Swords don't accept money. Sonny, however, was enjoying his spoils system that he took up. It paid the bills at least, and it got him some fancy new weapons. He was now sporting real gear, not just whatever he could find in the basement that used to belong to his family, or from the waist of a common thug. He was sporting real katanas and real guns. 

But what was he doing here in Quebec? That's a long way from home for him. Recently, he had caught the trace of a big time gangster. Sonny has never taken down someone of his magnitude before. He heard that this man was a big fan of swordplay. Maybe that's how he would take him out in the end. Maybe he would just put a bullet between his eyes. The big time gangster was originally from Canada who came down to the United States for some illegal fun. Sonny heard that he was taking a vacation back home, and wanted to take this as his opportunity to end the man. For now, he was sitting in an Internet café, trying to find out more information about the gangster. Sonny was never good at doing his homework before it was due. Frankly, he didn't have the patience at the moment either. The whole 'infiltrate Canada' thing had taken its toll on him. He had to ride a bus all the way up to near the border. Then, he had to go the rest of the way on foot and avoid the little border patrol they had. Who would break into Canada?

Sonny groaned thinking about having to make his way all the way back home. He would have to go back and exchange the rest of his money back into U.S. dollars too. Sonny was beginning to think this assassination mission wasn't worth it. This man had better be loaded. I don't want to have gone all this way and through all that trouble  for nothing. This place is starting to bother me too. They talk funny...

Sonny groaned while doing his research. He was always lazy with this sort of thing, always getting distracted by other things. When he realized he was on a website for ordering katanas, he decided to call it quits. There was a whole lot to find out on the Internet, but Sonny wasn't able to access all of that. He was more into wars and fighting and weapons, not doing some stupid code to find some stupid information about some stupid person. Sonny had what he needed anyway, he could come up with the rest later. He shut down his computer and exited the Internet café, reciting the address of the gangster in his head until he memorized it. 

Before coming to Montreal, Sonny took the time to learn some French. He now knew a total of 5 words. Je voudrais un sandwich sil-vous-plaît. Oh yeah, I got this French stuff down. He also only spent a whopping 10 seconds learning words, then decided he just needed weapons while he was here, which he had stashed in a shady apartment he was able to rent for a month, although he would only use it for a few days. 

As he made his way down the street, one sign caught his eye. "Courtier dess spectacles." Everyone here would be able to tell he wasn't from around here. "Well, I know what spectacles mean! Maybe it's some sunglasses." Sonny was excited seeing the first English word since he had been here, but was disappointed when it turned out to not be a sunglasses shop. He was hungry though, and he wasn't about to let his masterful French go to waste. He walked in with an obnoxious confidence surrounding him, and decided on a spot next to another boy around his age. He almost didn't notice the other man about to sit in the seat as well, but it was too late. Sonny accidentally push the man with his hips as he made his way into the seat, and turned to look at the man. He didn't know the word for sorry, so he didn't bother. It wasn't until the man started ranting in French to him that Sonny took notice. He put on his heaviest British accent to counter whatever the man was saying. Piss off, you wanker!"

Whilst the guy beside Sonny seemingly stood up for him in French, Sonny began to search through the menu. Everything was in French. Just what the hell was a jambon or a fromage? Sonny discarded the menu and turned his attention back to the French conversation, trying to guess what they were trying to say. He didn't understand one word, and didn't act like he did. What he found fascinating was the waitress who stared down the wanker like the wanker he was. He hadn't even been in here one minute and he already made things exciting. If only he could bring his guns, that would really liven the place up anymore. Sonny was brought out of his daydream that involved a vivid array of guns, grenades, and swords and a big pile of dead Canadian police (just the ones that ride horses) by the guy sitting next to him.

Be more diplomatic eh? There's a time and place for diplomacy. When a crazy Asian man is staring you down and it seems like he might just rip you apart with some Kung Fu. This kid had sounded like a wimp during the conversation, unlike the waitress. She was the most badass French person he knew so far. Sonny decided to switch up his accent for fun, now becoming an Australian. "Aye, mate. Although, I prefer a good ole fashioned beat-down. That lady could stare down a croc. That's some real diplomacy." He then remembered another French word. His accent was then gone, and he was an American. "Mercy, by the way! Oh, and also... Uhh, je voudrais un sandwich sil-vous-plaît!" He was hoping to avoid any French conversations from here on out. "Quelle sorte?!" Her voice was like a mixture of angels and nails. Sonny had no idea what to say back. "Uhh, no speako el frencho!" He knew that nothing he said in that sentence was right, and knew the correct way to say it in Spanish. However, he didn't feel like speaking correctly today. He was bored, and wasn't going to be ready to kill his target for a while. Might as well mess with some Canadians.

Sonny smiled as the guy started to correct him, the looked over at him and studied how he said it. He mouthed the words to himself as he looked back at his menu. Sonny wasn't stupid. Lazy might be one of his qualities, but he wasn't intellectually stupid. Learning some of other languages wasn't a bad idea, although he doubted he would ever need to know how to tell someone that he didn't speak French in Spanish.

He looked back at the guy and put on a sarcastic tone. "Well, thank you, my good man. I'm as chucked as nuts that you would assist me in my endeavor to learn proper espagnol." He made sure to pronounce the g that was supposed to be silent, just to be a bit annoying. He was a big surprised when the man said he was acting like a dick, and was overjoyed that he was joining in with him on the accent game. He decided to go a little closer to home, and became a cowboy, but was cut off by a language he knew nothing about. Sonny had seen this guy say the words to him, and had the mouth movements memorized. It seemed like a difficult language, and Sonny was one to show off.

"Well blah blah 'Twój francuski jest okropny. Myślę, że powinieneś nauczyć się go poważnie' to you too." His power never ceased to amuse him. He started singing in his head. Anything you can do, I can do... Just as well! Sonny looked at him and smiled, liking the language game they were having. "Well, I'm glad that you got summa dem balls and aren't all wussy-like." Sonny was really wishing he studied more French before he got here. "So what's a good sandwich?"

Sonny eyed the menu eagerly as Isak named a sandwich for him to try. The smoked meat sandwich. The name seemed satisfying, and he could only hope that the real sandwich was just as good as it sounded. "Well, then, I'll take your word for it." Sonny played the sentence to order the sandwich over in his head, then finally spoke up after he recited it a few times. "Un smoked meat sandwich, sil-vous-plait!" Oh yeah, he was a smooth operator. This foreign language thing was so easy. Sonny might not be able to tell people what two plus two was in French, but at least he could tell people he wanted a sandwich. Oh, and let's not forget the please and thank you.

Sonny turned back to Isak, who just took the liberty upon himself to introduce himself to Sonny. "Zielinski? I haven't ever heard a name like that before. I'm Sonny, Sonny Drake. You know, like the drink? Aha, that makes me think of my brother. His name was Oscar James Drake. We were Sunny D and OJ. I guess my dad does have a sense of humor!" Sonny laughed to himself, being happy that he could think of Oscar without being sad.

It wasn't long before the sandwich was brought out. Sonny stared at it for a few seconds before remembering his manners. "Oh, uhh, mercy!" Grabbing the sandwich with two hands, he jammed it into his mouth and tore off a large bite. The juices of the meat filled his mouth, leaving an amazing taste. He turned to Isak with a mouth full of food. "You're right... It is good."

Outside there was movement. The man from earlier was angry at Sonny for coming into his country, taking his seat, and getting him kicked out of his favorite restaurant. The calling him a wanker didn't help either. He had been collecting a bunch of his friends to go with him to teach the tourist about how things worked in his town. Stupid Canadians.

The men opened the door violently, soaked in anger. The sound of the door made Sonny turn around to see the wanker from before. There were four of them, including the man Sonny pushed out of the chair earlier. It didn't seem like they were here to enjoy a nice meal. Sonny raised an eyebrow but didn't decide to pay anymore attention to these men.

"C'est lui!" Uh oh. He didn't sound too happy. Sonny spun around in his chair to see a man running at him with his fist cocked backwards. Idiot. With the smoked meat sandwich in his left hand, Sonny reached out with his right hand to grab the fist of the man as he let it fly towards Sonny's face. The hand caught the fist, then slid onto the man's wrist for a better grip. The man was pulled forward, with his right arm going across his chest and well behind Sonny, blocking him from using his left arm. Sonny took another bite of his sandwich while smiling, then wrapped the struggling man's arm around his neck. The man struggled to breathe as he desperately called for help from his comrades. Sonny wouldn't choke the man out, but he would cut his breathing off long enough to show him he had no chance against him. This man had only a little over a fifth of the strength Sonny had, and it showed as he was unable to move his arm an inch against Sonny's. Sonny swallowed the bite of sandwich he had taken, then smiled at the other men. "Who's next?"