DOUBLE DAMAGE

Tube Top was in his new base of operations. A news broadcasting center in New Jersey. He had people - well “people” - moving boxes in, setting up cameras, and running the broadcast equipment. Currently, he was live-streaming a spinning digital replication of his own head with the words “Wait for it” under it. Currently, he only had a few people watching. However once he initiated his plan; he was certain people would tune in.

A crash, resulting in weapons spilling onto the ground, made Tube Top turn to the Tube Bot that dropped it. It was one of the Boom Mics. “Dammit Johnny! You need to watch your step!” Tube Top said, flames appearing on his screen. The microphone headed Tube Bot started making slightly static beeps, and scrambling to pick up the stuff it had dropped. ”I have no time for excuses Johnny. I gotta get our star, get into makeup, and finish getting our sponsors! Just put those in the studio, I’ll set them up before I head to the star.”

Tube Top would appear, nearly an hour later, in an apartment with white walls and posters covering the majority of the walls. The place could certainly use a maid service, but it wasn’t anything abhorrent. He glanced around the room before turning his face onto an image of Ryan Seacrest. Congratulations, DANGER DAN! You’ve been selected as the first official contestant for DOUBLE DAMAGE! The game show where you have to do as much damage as you can before the heroes show up to stop you!”

Reclining in his La-Z-Boy chair Dan sighed with contentment. "God I fucking love Fruit Loops for lunch." Munching a few spoonfuls of the colorful goodness he flicked on the T.V. Several minutes of channel surfing later his good mood was slowly souring. "Ugh, its either the same shitty reruns of shows no one cares about or more products being shoved into his face. No, of course I don't believe this rag can clean up 10 gallons before its soaked. Its a scam and everyone knows it Vince! I remember there used to be GOOD shows when I was a kid and now its all shit. What ever happened to The Adventures of Eron Stone and The Hero Company? That was the shit. Sigh...Guess I'll have to watch Always Sunny again."

Even with his hatred for sitcoms Dan couldn't help but chuckle here and there as The Gang got in way over their head as usual. He was about to get up for a 2nd helping when there was a slowly growing black smudge on the T.V. screen. "The fuck? Did someone spike my food again?" Stepping closer for a better look Dan was startled as the weird smudge of his T.V reached out of the screen and began crawling out. All semblance of horror was gone when the smudge took the shape of a man wearing a T.V. on his head and a still image of the host of American Idol.

"Double Damage? I've neve- wait, who are you and how did you get in my house? You also better fix my T.V. I just bought it a month ago. You a Hero?"

The television headed man laughed as he stared down into the regular headed man's face. "Well, since you've never heard of the show, I'll explain real quick!" He smacked his hand against Dan's television, and it revealed an image of Tube Top leaning against a poll. "Hello there! And welcome to Double Damage! The game show where I, Tube Top, pick a class favorite villain, and they can then use this time to do as much damage as possible. Hidden around the city of Chicago, I have left guns, explosives, and various other "power-ups". Using these, you'll be destroying a large swath of the city and causing untold chaos!"

The man on the screen swung his cane about to point to a nearby bank. "Anything that you loot or otherwise obtain during your mission aside from the power-ups will be yours to keep! In addition, I have procured 20,000 dollars for you if you win our bonus round!" The man laughed joylessly. "So, get to it!" The TV reverted to static then, and then once more to Dans television show.

"So 'Danger Dan', are you ready to do some damage?" The man asked.

Oh. My. God. This was just too good to be true! Not only does he get to make a whopping 20k cash but just think of all the publicity! All he had to do was cause mass destruction, striking fear into the hearts of heroes,which is already what he does! Catching himself before blurting out yes and appearing desperate he gave a dramatic pause.

"Actually, the name is DANGER DAN!" he yelled only feet away from the TV host. "You gotta say it that way or it isn't right. Anyways, you've come to the right lair and succeeded in finding the most DANGEROUS of villains for NO ONE is more Dastardly AND DIABOLICAL than DANGER DAN! I accept based on just one question."

Another dramatic pause as Dan stood there villainous as only a man in his boxers can be.

"What of collateral damage to the mere peasants of the city? I only seek worthy battle among the hypocrites and false idols that call themselves 'heroes'. Those without the power to defy me are only fit to survive to tell my tale of truly titanic treason against their way of life. I need some guarantee that the meek will not be the focus of my DANGEROUS destruction."

This was very much a deal breaker for Dan. He may be the most vile of villains but he didn't consider himself evil. His only beef was with the assholes who call themselves heroes who live to only crush other's dreams. Did he want to break the people's trust and pride in their great defenders? Absolutely but he was not a mass murderer like some of the more crazy psychopaths.

Tube Top's adopted face took on a smile as he looked at the man. Great, a villain with morals. That could be a hinderence to his usual audience, but who knows? Maybe he could get the normal television watching crowd to tune in with a sympathetic character like this.

"Don't worry about the civillians. All I need for you to do, is cause destruction. I don't care who or what you destroy; I just want you to blow stuff up, DANGER DAN." Tube Top said as he stepped back through the television. "Now get moving! We don't
have long before we go live, and I think that you're going to enjoy this."

If Dan went outside, he would find a helicopter already waiting for him in the parking lot, the pilot having decided to open a can of chili and just started eating it cold. Inside the helicopter were a number of weapons that DANGER DAN could use as power ups.

The sheer awesomeness of whatever the fuck was going on stunned Dan. He felt like several months passed in that moment before he finally snapped out of it.

While the more childlike part of Dan was excited over the various prizes and what sort of fame this would bring. After all, the villain has a TV for a head! How can you not be popular? There was the more sane, adult part which urged caution. While TV Man promised no civilians would be hurt, he was, after all, a villain. He really didn't want to hurt any kids by doing this but fuck he needed the publicity.

For all he knew this very well could be some sort of trap. TV Person might be using him as a distraction to do other DANGEROUS things. If that was the case then Dan couldn't find the effort to care. Hell, he didn't even need the money for the most part. He only needed to get on TV and build up his rep as an A-list villain. With that comes all the bitches and money. Chicks dig a guy in costume after all.

He would of given a DANGEROUS cackle as he went outside but there just wasn't anyone around to witness it and a good cackle should not be wasted. Waltzing up to the pilot he shouted to be heard over the engine.

"Hey! TV Head sent you right?! What do I do?!....He didn't explain anything besides blowing stuff up and getting money!"

When DANGER DAN entered the helicopter, the pilot dropped his chili all over his lap in an attempt to get the chopper into the air. When they were in the air, a boombot - a humanoid robot with the head of a boom mic - reached into the backseat and handed the villain a piece of paper with a wax seal.

The pilot grabbed his ear pierce in pain, as the boombox began whining at them. Then his eyes cleared, and he said "Mike here says that you'll find your first task inside. We're approaching the drop zone now. Good luck, Dan."

"It's DAN, DANGER DAN!. Remember that name 'cause the whole world's gonna know it in three days when I get finished." With that he proceeded to jump out of the helicopter with nothing but his suit. Now, you may be thinking to yourself. 'Well this idiot just killed himself for forgetting a parachute." and you would normally be right, if not for Dan's amazing durability. That was just about the only thing special about him, his durability. He wasn't smart, fast, nor stronger than most others, but he was impervious to anything shy of a nuke, which he had the chance to test yet.

As he dive bombed through the air he felt his heart catch in his throat and his pulse frantic. He knew free falling from a several story height was nothing but his body still had ingrained instincts that would constantly fight him every time he got DANGEROUS!

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-" Dan Ah'd before impacting the ground, crumbling the pavement and sending a fine layer of dust into the air. He struggled standing up, mainly due to being embedded into the ground than actual injury. Dusting himself off he look around the drop zone, hoping to see some sort of sign or instruction as to what the hell he was actually suppose to do...He wanted those prizes dammit.

Luckily for Dan, on a nearby digital billboard, the television headed hosts face appeared and showed Arnold Schwarzenegger going over to a spot on the ground that would be noticable from about a mile away. The dirt was freshly turned over, and had a television shaped manhole cover on top of it.

Arnold started digging, and the hole contained a machine gun, and a taser. "Welcome to your first challenge! Dig up the box and take your pick of the weapons I've laid out for you." Ryan Seacrest said, stepping in front of the terminator. "When that's finished, go into the office and start causing CHAOS."

Dan ran over to the fresh mound and began raking through it. "Thank god this isn't packed!" After a few more moments of digging he uncovered a black box with a microphone symbol on it. Opening it up revealed some sorta air-horn, 3 sticks of dynamite, a miniature flamethrower, and electric nun-chucks. Exactly how useful electric nun-chucks could be was anyone's guess. As far as he could tell anytime it would actually shock someone it would also shock him.

"Who would make these things...I guess it'll have to do." Jogging over to the office building Dan proceeded to enter in style, that is to jump through the window, because villains don't use doors...Duh.

"Alright you soulless office drones with no chances of having a better life! This is a stick up!" Dan exclaimed while holding one of he sticks of dynamite up. "But really though, if you value your pathetic meaningless lives then flee in TERROR! For I, DANGER DAN! am now far more DANGEROUS than before. You're nothing more than mere points towards (hopefully) fabulous prizes, and I am to win!"

All-in-all it was a rather good opening speech, but sadly it was drowned out as office clerks scrambled out of the various exits, some even trying to use the elevator to escape. Why they thought using an elevator over a bomb threat and being on the 1st floor is a mystery.

Regardless of the Darwin Theory taking effect Dan threw a stick of dynamite into an empty cubicle wing.

Thread retired. Vorik to claim XP.