Extreme Extraterrestrials [RESULTS]

by **Zonkes** December 26th 2020, 9:52 pm

Character Creation Contest

THEME: Extreme Extraterriestrials

WINNERS

1st Place:TEA SIPPEN TOSHINORI

Score: 141

Scores

Chelle: 35

Vorik: 38

Zonkes: 37

Nomad: 31

Comments

Chelle: bland. *Slow Claps.* Jackson, it's like you've been holding out on us this entire time! I've heard you mention the conept of Takum a few times, but the fact that you went above and beyond to craft such a character just leaves me in awe. I am impressed, to say the least. I find your use of the coded application an added bonus, and the color pallete you decided on is easy on the eyes. Very well done. However, your use of grammar could be improved. I find your use of "there" when it should have been "their" or even "they're" to be accidental, but easily fixable.

Vorik: I hope giving a perfect score isn't seen as shifty but I honestly am blown away by this entry and I think this is possibly the best character sheet I've read on the site. The amount of effort throughout the sheet is amazing, whether it be the custom background, multiple hand-drawn pictures, to even adding in a music player. All of these little things really help a sheet become it's own unique thing . There was also hardly any errors I saw with only noticing 2 mispellings. I love the concept of these utterly bizaar energy like beings whose minds are so abstract that they cant be compared to anything living. The human counterpart was nicely done as well and helped to add some more human foundations to the character. With the main theme being an alien character I believe you've done this perfectly and that is why I am giving this a perfect score.

Zonkes: Excellent entry, as expected. Good job Jackson.

Nomad: There's very little I can say that hasn't already been said. I remember you expressing your doubts to me about your talent and viability as a writer. After seeing this application, Jackson, you should have no worries. It is one of the most extraordinary things I have read; not just from you, but from anyone on the site. While it wasn't perfect, it was as close as can be expected. Congratulations.

Prize

Ghost Slot*
200 flat XP

2nd Place: Tsundernate

Score: 128

Scores

Chelle: 35

Vorik: 28

Zonkes: 34

Nomad: 31

Comments

Chelle: A very strong story to go with a very adorable alien girl. I very much enjoy the fact that you always bring a written description to your looks section as well as beautiful artwork. The overall concept of this character is endearing, her love of video games making me want to see this character experience an evening at an arcade. I do enjoy the fact that she has a detailed backstory with a commanding role. I find the struggle of Mera waiting for months in free-floating in space a very humbling addition to the character's backstory. Well done, Nate.

Vorik: While the sheet didn't go into great lengths about where the alien comes from there is ample to read about. The core beliefs of the Vrexis, how they interact with the galaxy, and a lot of insight into the species biologically. I came away feeling like I learnt enough I needed to get an understanding for these insectoid explorers. I only found 1 and maybe 2 if Im being a dick about it typos throughout. As to the character themselves they I think you have a great one as her willingness to do good and repay kindness along with her sheer curiosity can lead her into all kinds of troubles and threads. While there isn't any big errors I just wasnt wow'd with the concept. An explorer race has been done before quite a bit. and while you did execute the premise well, I would of loved to see some innovation.

Zonkes: The most alien of the sheets that I've seen. While I love the original artwork, the story, and the general ideas behind it; I can't give it a perfect score due to the lack of information you entered. I'd love to hear more, but I will have to wait. Good job, Nate.

Nomad: Very well-written, very amazing. Insectoid aliens, and telepathic aliens, aren't unique or groundbreaking ideas, but you managed to combine them into an engaging and entertaining read, while also remaining believable. Out of all of the characters presented int this contest, I think Meri might be my favorite and the one I'm most looking forward to.

Prize

Ghost Slot*
150 flat XP

3rd Place: Roriking

Score:86

Scores

Chelle: 27

Vorik: 15

Zonkes: 23

Nomad: 21

Comments

Chelle: Personally, I am not one for first person writing, but in this case, it works. I find it charming that your history is written as an almost diary entry. Each additional log entry adding more depth to your character's backstory. However, I feel that had you taken the time to spell check and fix any grammatical errors (no one is perfect) this app could have scored higher. Nice concept, though. I love the idea of a blue alien with a third eye. Power set is over-all classic, but not too bland.

Vorik: Numerous spelling, punctuation, and formatting errors. There was several misuse of wording and pronouns. Overall, I wanted more. As it stands I don't know much about the character othan than that they ran away, wears armor thats not descriped, and has a chip in his head. I hardly know anything about a Hum'ith whether it be, their culture, general streangth and weaknesses, or even what they look like. His armor and weaponary is very vague aswell in that I don't know a thing about what they do. How much is extra power for his punches. What can the Energy Mace do compared to a normal one,? How far can his morphing go when it comes to abilities? There is the foundations of a good character here but it is missing a lot of depth.

Zonkes: I like the alien writing, but I noticed several spelling errors and there was a lot of stuff that I wish you would've expanded on. All in all though, I do feel that this is a decent entry to the contest, if a bit basic for the Extreme ET theme.

Nomad: As others have mentioned, taking the effort to do the alien writing was a stroke of genius. Sadly, that's where it ends. There's not a lot of ... substance. Nothing to really get a grasp of the characters origin. Which can work, if you weren't entirely establishing a brand-new civilization. I did get a laugh out of the tag line, though.

Prize

Ghost Slot*
100 flat XP

Honorable Mentions

4th Place:Nekomonga

Score:0

Scores

Chelle: 22

Vorik: 19

Zonkes: 24

Nomad: 14

Comments

Chelle: Ancient roman aliens is not a bad concept at all, and I was pleased to see that you did some research to input more life into this character concept. This must be a character that you've had in your mind for a while, Neko, because I see the thought process you put behind of the history and how you broke it down from stage to stage in this characters life. I was also impressed with the addition of a bigger threat that pulled them to our galaxy in this universe. Well done. Just do some spell checking next time, bub! (:

Vorik: Firstly, well done with grammar and punctuation. I counted a total of just 2 mispellings throughout the app so you clearly had an eye on the details here. The point of the contest is to make an alien and I feel like you did that in some aspects but did not put enough uniqueness into it overall. I wanted to learn more about the Hawk Men, their society, and their world, but there was a lot of focus on what was essentially Space Rome which felt a bit like a cop out on being creative and making something truly your own. Despite wanting the concept to be more original I think you executed the idea we

Zonkes: Okay, so I'm going to be honest. I've seen this character. When I say that, I mean I can think of 30 different incarnations of space rome off the top of my head, and alien bird people have been around since Hawkman in 1940. I'm not saying that what has beeen done can't be done again, or that it can't be done better, but I didn't get anything out of it that I couldn't get out of any other space roman empire. Neko, I like ya man. But you gotta sprinkle in some allspice into your writing style to make it work, otherwise you're just throwing tropes at us until you inevitably get burnt out.

Nomad: As I stated when you first posited this idea in Discord, Roman Aliens has been a million and a half times. I'm severely disappointed you continued with the idea despite literally no one agreeing it was a good idea. The grammar and execution were ... okay, but again damaged just simply by it being done so much. I do love her name, though; it's unique and really roles off the tongue.

Prize

50 flat XP - divvied up among the 5 remaining contestants due to an unfortunate event.

*A ghost slot is a character slot that you gain temporarily to allow one more character to your roster. Once you choose to retire a character, you lose that slot. You do not gain a permanent character slot.

Congratulations, everyone!