Casual/Date Night [RESULTS]

by **Zonkes** September 15th 2022, 10:10 pm

Short Story Competition

THEME: Casual/Date Night

WINNERS

1st Place: Patto

Score: 24.5 out of 25.5

Comments

Z: Comments: This right here, is my favorite so far. I’ve judged 4 others, but I think Pat hit the nail on the head best for what I think this contest should’ve been all about. In addition, he destroyed my expectations as to what I thought could be accomplished in terms of word count so I have decided to award an extra half a point. If this isn’t the winner, I have some real treats coming up for me.

Prize

400 flat XP
An art piece from the great Chellizard!

2nd Place: Mr. Goodbottom

Score: 22

Comments

Z: A scene from a movie. That’s the best way I can describe this. People always tell me that my writing is cinematic, and it finally fell into place reading your entry. Beautiful, impactful, left me wanting to see more. Excellent piece, Nate. However, an extra read through to check for typos wouldn’t have hurt anything.

Prize

Ghost Slot*
200 flat XP

3rd Place:Vexxy

Score:21

Comments

Z: A very interesting story that pits the slayer of demons Rai, against the demon kingpin Isroh… on a date to the death? Such a fun idea! Sadly, I noticed quite a few spelling errors that should’ve been addressed before submission, thus I had to dock points. Very fun though!

Bonus Dan Commentary: “If she weren’t absolutely terrifying for reasons beyond his comprehension, she’d actually be adorable.”

Never before has a quote so succinctly described a character. And honestly that theme runs throughout this short story. It’s an adorable concept executed quite well, though some things are glazed over a bit I would like to see expanded on. Every line is another bit of characterization; even if I wasn’t already familiar with these characters, the way they’re written and the incredible voice and direction given them makes me feel as if I’ve known them forever. Grammar and pacing issues prevent perfect scores, but one of my favorite entries here so far.

Prize

Ghost Slot*
150 flat XP

Honorable Mentions

4th Place: A tie between Vorik and Tea

Score:20

Comments

Z for Vorik: I want to start by saying that this was hilarious. Everything from the brand deals to the hyper mega death beam Karen was hilarious. However, the story did feel a little rushed. Like you were trying to get from one scene to the next as quickly as possible without lingering. Which is fine, but I had to dock you some execution points for it. As expected, the grammar is better than mine so I’ll give it a solid 5 out of 5!

Z for Tea: So. I have a little bit to say on this story, I can’t exactly call it a short story but I am happy to say that it was in fact good. That being said, there were some things holding it back. While I enjoyed the concept, I’m not sure it resonated super well with the theming, and to be quite honest, the end did fall apart. This wasn’t bad, by any stretch. But you should work on your casual writing skills, it’s something you will use forever.
Grammar was good, but not perfect as to be expected when rushing out a story. Ultimately, well done.

Bonus Dan for Vorik: Meta as hell and full of DANGEROUS shenanigans, I love it. Fluid, well-written, and with some of the best voice on the site, as have come to be expected. However, the plot of the story itself is kind of … everywhere? Or rather, it doesn’t go anywhere, skipping from one plot to the point to the other. It was an enjoyable read nonetheless! A few minor grammar mistakes prevent full marks.

Prize

100 flat XP

Congratulations, everyone!