HELLISH HORRORS NEAR HAYDEN! (STARRING: The Hunters 4 Hire!)

Seth was in the middle of frantically driving the rad van through the middle of the Arizona desert near Hayden, Arizona. There had been strange reports of gargoyles and other fire based monstrosities. The problem with gargoyles was their shell, which was incredibly difficult to pierce without explosives. Luckily, Night Walker always had some made up for arrows. He intended to take care of this issue on his own; but when he and Darwin had arrived to take care of the issue; they hadn't quite expected to be met with a 7 foot tall classical demon with goat hooves and all. Night Walker blasted the radio with Rob Zombie playing.

They had been in Hayden investigating the source of the gargoyles and monster attacks; but it seemed like whenever they got close to a lead, another monster showed up to distract them. But it wasn't until they found a kid who looked like he should be playing dungeons and dragons and sucking on his inhaler that they found this demon. He didn't seem to be very friendly when they met him, and after speaking some words that sounded suspiciously ancient; he sent them packing using Azazel. The demon wasn't very high on the totem pole from what he could tell, though considering Night Walker had no experience fighting genuine demons; the thing scared the shit out of him.

He threw Darwin his crossbow ”Man, I sure wish I had figured out how to make ice arrows before this! Use the explosive arrows, aim for the chest!” He yelled as he avoided a cactus and nearly drove them into a river before flipping the van around. They narrowly avoided being incinerated as the sand where the rad van had just been became black glass. He slammed his foot onto the gas and the demon followed.

Darwin had been in the back of the van, sliding around as Seth drove like a maniac "You could be a little more careful!" He croaked, as a crossbow came flying towards him. His hands fumbled with it, his eyes locked onto the explosive bolt. Darwin's hands had finally grasped it, about an inch away from the floor of the van, before being violently tossed about as the van rolled through the desert terrain. The van lurched back into motion, back doors opening and Seth's magazine collection spraying about in the wind behind them..Darwin locked eyes with the massive demon, and shrieked like a little girl "WHY IS THAT SO MUCH SCARIER THAN A WEREWOLF!?" His jittery hands aimed the crossbow towards it, firing, the bolt sunk into its chest letting out a large explosion mere seconds later.

Darwin moved about the back of the van the best he could, grabbing all of Seth's gear, and some extra explosive bolts, before tapping the young hunter on the shoulder "I think we found the source, dude..." Darwin's shaky finger pointed at a large obsidian obelisk that had been erected between two rock formations, an oozing green portal swirled, almost hypnotizing Darwin. The van came to a crawl as the radiator let out a loud shriek, forcing the two of them out, and on to the newly created black glass. Behind the demon emerged a child, puffing off his inhaler like a cigarette, who spoke in a deep, inhuman voice "Do we kill him? We kill him right? "

Darren ran a lot, so much so that half of the time he wasn’t entirely sure where he was. He’d even ran across the ocean and ended up in Japan a couple times, and there was that one time he ended up in Berlin where the guy with the giant cat was. However, most of the time his cross world adventures generally kept him in the United States, or at least North America. Which, he was pretty sure he was still in today. There weren’t any signs that pointed to him not being in the United States at least. Not that he’d even be able to tell otherwise, he wasn’t the most observant of people. It also didn’t help that when he was running near his top speed everything else was either moving in slow mow or looked almost stationary. As if someone was looking at the world through a television screen and decided to hit pause but nobody gave Darren the memo that he was supposed to stop.

Wherever he was now though Darren was quite certain the big obsidian obelisk that had been erected between two rock formations where an oozing green portal swirled, was not normal. In fact what also threw the boy blunder off was the fact that even now he could swear the portal was moving. Not at a normal pace or fast, but still eerily moving, slowly but surely. Moving around it while staying out of arms reach, he tried to look through it but saw nothing as he was distracted by the black van with lightning bolts across the side with two guys, two kids about Darren’s age even, standing just outside it on the. Wait hold up. Racing over to them Darren looked at the ground for the first time sense arriving wherever he was. He may not be the smartest man in the world but he was pretty sure the ground was not supposed to look like black gla-hey whats that kid doing?

Racing over to the child with the inhaler the world’s fastest kid snatched it out of his hand before racing over to stand between the three kids, still unaware of the 7-foot tall Demon at this point. Allowing his perception and body to slow down as the rest of the world raced forward to catch up with him. To those unable to process the movement at which Darren was previously at it would simply look as if he appeared in the spot holding the child’s inhaler in his hand. “Hey! Don’t you know drugs are bad for you! Jeez, you definitely shouldn’t be doing whatever this is kid. How old are you- Oh. Oh jeez. Okay don’t freak out or anything but there is definitely a giant demon thing standing behind you and I’m going to help get you away alright.” Said the shirtless Australian, wearing only a pair of swim trunks and a blue bookbag with a sword hilt sticking out the top.

Samael trusted Adam, his information networks and everything in between. Loved tended to blind people to possible risks, and the half demon was no exception. There had been some issues with a rift in reality for some time now, flickering in and out with much effect, Creatures breaking through that normally did not belong in Arizona or anywhere else on this plane of existence. Samael let the cigarette rest in the corner of his mouth, trailing smoke from it as he took a drag and released a cloud through his nostrils. Coming upon demons flying through said portal was an annoyance, but that did make it easier on him to find it.

Dressed in usual fashion, Sam removed the long sword from his back with a motion. The runes of enhancement on the silver blade, keeping the otherwise flimsy metal from being a problem. That was when he noted a demon chasing after a van, which was riding away from it. ”What the hell is going on here?” He muttered as the van nearly served into a monolith. Without putting much thought into it, Sammy rushed forward with a massive push. Letting the agility runes carry him faster than he normally would be able to, putting most motor vehicles to shame. Quickly breaking what distance was between him and  the large demon, a cry issuing from his throat as his weapons sliced through the Achilles tendon.

Blood splashed over him, thick and black on color as he rolled back from the swing that was intended for him. ”Come and get some you fuck!” Samael roared out loud, twirling the weapon as the blood flew off and prepared for the next swing.

Seth held up an arm to hold Darwin back from the kid. For all they knew; he could be an innocent in this after all. No reason to turn the kid into lunch meat just yet. He raised his arms slowly to try and say "Dude, there's a demon behind you." but before he could even speak; a burst of sand hit him in the face. When he cleared his eyes; he saw that a guy had showed up. He was apparently quite fast as he had already stolen the other kids inhaler.

Night Walker was pretty impressed by this display of speed, though when he mentioned drugs are bad for you; Seth had to say. "Actually, that's an inhaler. I think he might have asthma." Towards the taller kid.

The demon however; was quickly distracted by a red headed man in sunglasses sliced it's heel wide open, revealing black blood. The demon's slightly acidic blood bubbled onto the ground before spreading into the hellmouth.

Suddenly, the overweight kid jumped into the air and blasted lightning at the ground at Seth's feet. "Foolish humans!" He yelled with a slight lisp, possibly due to his braces. "I am the almighty Wiz-Kid! You should never have messed with me and my 6 sided dice of DOOM!" He said, and Seth could only groan.

"Fucking hell, you're one of those DND nerds aren't you? I bet you roleplay on one of those lame metahuman roleplaying websites... Fucking nerd." He then aimed a spare crossbow he had stolen from the van before they escaped and shot at the "Wiz-Kid".

The explosive only bounced off the shield and burnt the sand around it further. "FOOL! YOU WILL DIE FIRST!" He screeched, and the demons turned back for the group.

Darwin stared at the arm in front of him "I tooold you I hate it when you do that...it's so cliche!" Between the sand in his eyes and the dude with the sword slicing into the demon, Darwin was totally lost. "Okay who are you?" He pointed at the one who had gotten sand in his dreads and then turned to the redhead "And who the fuck are you?" He heard a lispy, whining voice come from the child, and groaned "Meh meh meh, almighty my ass."

Darwin dug his foot into the ground, and began to take a deep breath. Before letting it out, gurgling began to emerge from his throat, as a spray of liquid coated the ground under the demon, freezing it almost instantly. The freak made his way towards the redhead, deciding that since he had cut the demon with a sword, he could trust him at least slightly. "Okay, you run pretty fast, I run pretty fast,
that guy over there..YAH, GUY OVER THERE, LISTEN UP...we distract the demon by running around him in circles hitting him with all we got.
I'll use fire, you use your sharp thing...HEY FAST KID, DO WHATEVER YOU DO."

Darren had never actually seen a demon before. Or a kid with asthma. No, that wasn’t entirely true he had definitely seen a demon before. Somewhere. He was certain he had. Unless that was a kid with asthma? Maybe it was a demon child with asthma? That definitely sounded like something he had seen before. Of course, to remember if that was something he had or had not seen before he would first need one question answered. “What’s an asthma? Is it the weird thing he’s doing with his voice? That definitely sounds like a problem if it is; and he should get it fixed. Drugs however are not the way to do that. Drugs are bad for you. Just say no.” Excellent job Darren. He may or may not have been watching some old early 2000 videos about something called D.A.R.E. he wasn’t entirely sure what it was about but it made it clear that you should say no to drugs. Also, there was a lion. Lions were cool.

It was around this time that a guy with some cool looking sunglasses, didn’t know why he was wearing them at night though, used a sword and sliced it through the demon’s leg. Black blood spluttered out and was ‘quickly’ absorbed by the weird green floating thing that still moves when Darren is at top speed. That wasn’t weird at all. Okay, no it was totally weird and he absolutely wanted to know how it worked. Like was it magic? Science? Scientific magic? That was a th-hey wait a second the red head guy had a sword! That was awesome. Darren also had a sword. It was kind of his thing! Meeting other people who had swords was always cool and led to fun adventures. Like that one time with the girl with the talking evil sword. That was weird. Or the time with the Darth Vader lady. Her sword was almost like a laser. Or the time with Neon Lights. Except her sword was really her hand now that he thought about it.

Fast kid? He was fast kid right? That made sense. He was the fastest boy alive. Or at least people told him. Most of the time they seemed pretty upset and it was usually followed by them telling him to slow down or stop talking. Point is he was definitely fast kid. Meaning the guy with the cool hair and ice breath, wicked cool by the way, wanted him to do something. Possibly in regards to stopping the demon. Right? That was usually a good thing to do. “Right I can do that! Should we do something about the kid with asthma? He seems upset. Do you think it’s because I took his drugs away from him? I can give them back if that’s the case.” Before anyone could answer the world around Darren slowed to an almost crawl as he raced over to the demon and using his sword sliced across its other leg, in a similar fashion to the red-head guy, following it up with a slash aimed at its mid-section before returning to his original position. Now however dressed in his official ‘hero’ uniform. Swordsmaster had arrived!

The black blood had been spilled, but spread into the Hellmouth, feeding into an unknown ritual that was taking place. That part did not make sense to him, but he did begin to worry as soon as things began to happen that were out of the ordinary. Add in some fat nerd screaming about being the almighty Wizkid and you had a recipe for disaster, Samael turning towards them with a low growl ripping from his throat. ”You have got to be fucking kidding me. You know what, no matter what they say Ashley is nowhere as stupid as this.” He muttered under his breath, curling the fingers of both hands around his weapon, stance shifting into a more defensive one as he noted the fast talking male that seemed to not know what he was doing.

Was he retarded or something?

A demon with a vile screech dives towards him, the screech translating to something along the liens of ripping out his intestines and flossing its teeth with them. Which he retorted by dashing forward, leaping onto its massive beak mouth and ramming the sword into the neck, putting all the strength he had into slicing neck half way through. Unleashing a larger splash of blood as the creature collided with the pavement, and slid further along with empty eyes.

Killed in impact if he could guess. Leaping from the body like an acrobat, and landing with a hard thud. That was when someone shouted at him, suggesting they work together or whatever. That demon was not the main concern, and he wanted to make sure that the others did not suddenly start attacking helpless humans, which meant he ignored Darwin and continued to slice through those he could reach and firing off silver rounds into those out of his reach.

Seth liked the idea of working together. In fact, that sounded like the best possible way to deal with this situation. Unfortunately for him; his entire team seemed to be working all but alone. Seth sighed, and heard a howl behind him. He shot a hellhound in the mouth as it dove from the large obelisk. Great. Now they were being attacked from all sides.

Wiz-Kid rolled his dice in a cup and spread them out keeping them telekinetically floating. "And a chalupacabra rained from the heavens, dealing... Oh my god, only 4 damage? This game is rigged!"

Suddenly, a large beast with a scaly face, red bug eyes, a mosquito mouth and a... crunchy and soft shell filled with beef, cheese, lettuce and tomato came from the sky. He then swiped at Seth with its spade tail before the thing skittered off to terrorize Mexican food restaurants.

Seth was going to go after it, but what felt like lightning struck his back as a demons jagged claws tore through him. He flipped around with his sword. Demons continued flying through the hellmouth, and dead bodies were dragged back behind them as everyone fought something.

Darwin made his way to the middle of the horde, demonic flesh surrounding him. The idiot peered into the green ooze, and then beyond it...catching a glimpse of what was behind the portal. The teen could see 4 cloaked demons standing around a circle, chanting over a young woman. "SETH, CODE 491, DAMSEL IN DISTRESS, BEYOND THE PORTAL!" Darwin's fists flew like bullets, connecting with demons left and right, sending their bodies flying. He could feel claws digging into his skin, leaving an itching sensation like a cat would. His mismatched eyes caught a...chalupa-cabra? "Hey kid, it's CHUPA...CABRA...Not CHALUPA..CABRA, get it fuckin right!" Darwin fought his way to the front of the portal, breathing ice onto the green ooze in hopes of freezing it..and sure as shit, it froze. He could see demon faces pressing up against the glass like ice, smushing and distorting their features. "Write that one down in your monster book...hell portals can kinda be frozen for a bit!"

The ice was only going to hold for a few minutes, and it was time to act...Darwin pointed to the ki- did he literally change into his hero uniform!? Regardless he pointed at the fast kid, and then the redhead "Don't mind me, just barking out orders, but you guys, try to get this kid knocked out..we're gonna have to go in and part of me thinks he's the only anchor to this world that they got.."

Darwin sprinted once again, lifting off the ground to meet eye to eye with the kid, attempting to snatch the dice. He couldn't remember a thing after that moment, though..there was a large flash of light, some snorting laughter that was followed by wheezing. When the teen awoke, he turned to the kid who stole the inhaler "Keep that thing away from him, fast kid! He might have an asthma attack if we do!"

To say Darren was confused was an understatement. Not that it was his default state of mind or anything. It was just the stuff going on right now was not his usual brand of crazy. Sure, he could totally get behind a mad scientist wanting to create some new breed of monster, or an angry ex-husband out to destroy the world because his wife dumped him for someone better. This though? This was not something he had ever expected to run into. First it started out with one weird glowing green portal type thing, a kid with an inhaler, and one seven-foot-tall demon standing behind the kid. A seven-foot-tall demon that was apparently summoned or at least under the control of the kid with the inhaler. Now there were more. Lots more.

He obviously hadn’t been paying attention because the demons seemed to come out of nowhere. The other three people there, that weren’t demons or at least as far as he could tell, were all doing their thing. Trying to take down as many demons as possible or even try to stop the kid that apparently was the source of all this nonsense. So, Darren did what he did best. He ran. Not away though, no he was going to have so much fun with this. He pulled out his sword and started just slicing his way through demons. Legs, arms, extra limbs and externalities that normal humans didn’t have. Knocking them out left and right. Strangely enough though none of the demons Darren came across were killed. Or at least it would be strange to anyone who didn’t think the way he did. Killing was bad. No matter who or what the thing was. Only bad guys killed, and he wasn’t a bad guy. Maiming them and making them pass out though? That was perfectly okay.

After cutting through a large sum of demons the boy blunder stopped to assess the situation. The guy with two different color eyes, very cool by the way and Darren would definitely need to tell him that, shouted out something about freezing a portal. Or maybe it was something about taking out the kid with asthma. He wasn’t entirely sure why they needed to hurt the kid, its not like he was the one sum-oh wait no. Inhaler kid was definitely the reason this was all happening. Right. He knew that. Before Darren could act, which was a surprise in of its self, Darwin shot out at the kid and in a flash ended up on the ground. Head cocked to the side Darren decided to try his luck. Bolting forward and blistering speeds sword raised and ready to strike. Only to effectively bounce of a shield that shattered like glass, sending him and dice kid flying in opposite directions. “Ouch. That so totally did not work. Like sense when can kids make invisible shields? I cant do that. Can any of you? Just not fair . . . “

Samael just did not have the patient to deal with children, let alone hyperactive ones that could break the sound barrier on a whim. Now they were more annoying, bordering upon the territory of impossible to deal with. Always talkoing, running and likely causing thousands of dollars in property damage when they decided to do anything like run. If he weren’t so against the concept, he would have done society a solid and put him out of everyones misery, instead flicking the demon blood from his weapon and standing fully to his feet. There were more demons, creatures rising to fight and kill.

”You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Within this chaos someone else appeared, wielding what looked to be dice but changing reality with each roll. Either they were some manner of powerful mage or an idiot playing with items they had no clue of what they were dealing with. There was the appearance of an odd, mexican food themed creature skittering off after attacking someone. ”Yeah, not telling Ashley about this one.” He growled to himself, removing one of the pistols holstered in his jacket and checking the rune put onto it. Explosive, now that sounded like it would do some damage against a shield people bounced from.

He fired off a few rounds, slamming into demons ad they were reduced to an explosion of gore, before firing off a fee at the one controlling all of this.