The Littlest cancerpatient

The electricity from the massive, specially enhanced tesla-coil crackled omniously, lighting the room in an omnious shade of 'mad scientist blue' with every crackle, but doctor 0 did not mind. He had already callibrated his optical sensor to ignore the sudden, frequent bursts of light. As for the foreboding crackling and vicious crackling noises that it made, he actually found them soothing and comforting. Proof that his genius was indeed great, and that his theories were indeed sound, despite what those bony-headed, beady-eyed visionless little rats in the universities said. They though they were so great with their professor-titles and their classes and nobel prizes! decorated fools, all of them! He had acomplished more in his four short years in freedom than the had accomplished in their entire, misspent lives, and he had no plans to stop here! There was much more work to do, and it seemed that his usually technologically oriented research would have to take a brief detour into medicine

a few weeks ago Doctor 0 had gotten a hold of footage of a quite interesting, superpowered specimen. Unlike most such specimen this one seemed to be deathly ill, but this was not what made the boy oh so very interesting. The fact that he lacked any genetical disposition for his powers did. Even though the good doctor considered magic to be a rather unreliable form of bio-energy that contaminated the world, he cound not deny that it existed, and that quite a few people derived marvelous abilities from it. Nor could he deny the existance of dieties, since their offspring ran about pretty much everywhere these days. Most unhygeinic, he though. After all, one would expect divine gods and their heavenly sort aught to have the morality and the foresight to realize that breeding with their believers was not a very good idea indeed. However, very few gods seemed think like he did.

The point was that when he had found this boy with the designation Jack Maroon he had quickly realized that he had no divine parentage. Such things where easy to scan for. Nor did he discover any of the pesky magical signatures around him either, and as for genetic samples, it had been his good fortune that the little guy suffered from a potentially lethal tumor in the brain, thus the hospital had been quite a bit of data on him. he had hacked into the hospitals database where all the data known to man that concerned Jack Maroons genes was stored, and it seemed that he did not have the genetic disposition for superpowers either. No, mutant, metahuman genes, no traces of one of those lab-accidents that turned people into superhumans, nor did he have any trace of any of the known superserums that had been made by various scientists over the years.

This information intrigued him to no end. Where had Jack Maroon gotten his superhuman abilties from, and was it possible ot access that source and perform tests on it? At first he considered taking him in for vivisection, but soon decided against it. killing Jack now would prevent him from observing what might happen at a later stage. Perhaps Jacks strange powers might change, as he matured, maybe the source of his powers would vane, or maybe even increase! He needed to know!

A few days ago, he had sent a letter to Jack offering a free medical consultation and help with that pesky tumor, as well as free cookies. Doctor 0 might be a brain, and lack a sense of taste, but he considered cooking to be a subset off chemistry, and Chemistry he was mighty good at! In fact, he had entered his cookies in a baking-competition once under a false name, and he had won by getting eighty percent of the cookies, and he did not even have to put mind-altering drugs in the dough. That was how tasty the Cookies of doctor 0 was!

The doctor immediately saw his potential patient and/or guinea pig enter the stairwell leading down to his "not quite as secret as you might hope for"-laboratory. He had never really liked having his laboratory in a basement, but tenants of his own rather unusual kind could not be choosy when it came for adequate places to perform awesome science! He hurriedly hovered to meet his guest, so that he did not get disparaged by the rather unusual first look of his laboratory. After all, not many medical facilities were located in the basements of half-derelict ex-tennements, so he would have to assure the newcommer that he was indeed the best at what he did, and that what he did was so exceedingly difficult that he was the only one that did it.

However, he had no plan of meeting with the newcommer on his own. Jack was known to have a rather nasty, violent streak, and if he decided to go berserk, the good doctor would need protection of the bigger, burlier sort. He took two Atomic Robo-zombies with him for that very purposed. A pair of dead bodies that were animated thanks to simple but efficient hydraulic muscles and a small, primtive AI-unit implanted where their brains used to be. Their chemically perserved bodies where covered up by gray, sturdy jumpsuit, gloves and motorcycle-helmet, leaving no skin exposed whatsoever. Doctor 0 quite hoped that their faceless, intimidating presence would keep the boy calm, but he was quite aware that they may just have the opposite effect on him. Oh well, corpses where easy to find, and the Zombie-men where easy to build.

"Hello there young man!" The doctor said carefully as he appeared to greet the boy as he arrived. It was funny, but for some reason he had expected this specimen to be slightly taller.

"My designation and by extention moniker is Doctor 0, and it is indeed to finally meet you face to glass dome. I would be glad to shake your hand, but I appear to be suffering from some sort of limb-deficiency at the moment. Oh well." He said in a confused yet cheerfull manner as he lead the young man into his lair.
"Its a bit of a mess, I know. The place is littered with half-finished doomsday-devices and other scientific unpossibilities. Please watch your step." he continued as the door to the massive basement opened. It was a clutter of scientiffic equipment, with everything from advanced yet common computers to gizmometers that hadn't even gotten a proper name yet. However, it was all dominated by a huge tesla-coil with sparks and zaps traveling between its coils.

Doctor 0 lead his new 'patient' through the lab, trying to remember if he had any chairs tuckered away somewhere around here. He knew that the proper protocoll when entertaining guests was to seat them around a table and served sustenance. He had never really bothered much with chairs, since he had no bottom to sit on them with, as for his necrobots they pretty much spent all their time standing up, either way, since it took less space than to let them sit down when they where not in use. It might be just as well, since he did not really have any sustenance to offer jack at any rate. He himself did not eat, his meager need for nourishment taken care off by the biomed-gel wich his brain floated aorund in. As for his minions, none of them actually needed to eat anymore on account of them all being long-dead

His attempts to figure out how to be a good host, despite the fact that he lacked any of the material goods and the social graces necessary to do so was suddenly cut short as by his guests outburst. Seemingly he was impressed by how friendly everything was, even though some of his social programs were furiously looking for other synonyms for 'nice' "Yes, the technology and science here are both advanced and friendly. The sparkling of the tesla-coils is like the humming of angels. Science-angels, that is. Although, I don't recomend talking or speaking to it, sinc it cannot understand you." The doctor rambled on, his voice still cheerfull, although a little confused and lost. He was fairly certain he had missed some sort of social cue here, but he had no idea what it might be. Oh well, it would be a mystery he would have to ponder later on.

"Oh, ha ha! Yes, yes Of course! Forgive an old brain for ramblifying on like that. Heh. Its just that I so rarely get visitors nowdays." He quickly excused himself as Jack mentioned the reasons for wich he had come here in the first place.

"I like a young man who is not afraid to cut to the case when nessecary. Cutting is a rather enjoyable activity, don't you think? With ha scalpel or other sharp implement" He continued rambling before he remembered himself

Oh, I apologize! Cookies, yes cookies! he said, as a jump-suit-dressed masked Atomic Zombieman came marching towards them, clutching a bowl of seemingly ordinary chocolate-chip cookies.

"Take as many as you want. I finished this batch yesterday, so they are still pretty fresh. I use only the finest ingredients, as well as a healthy dose of chocolate and science!" The good doctor said proudly

"Oh, my happiness-levels are temporarily increased by the fact that you claim to like my home-made cookies" the Doctor said happily as Jack exclaimed that he was quite pleased by his offering, although in doctor 0's world cooking was nothing but a subset of chemistry, wich was itself only one of the many branches growing from the mighty tree of science! After all, there was nothing magical about making a decent meal or a good cookie. It was just about finding the proper ingredients, apply them carefully and in the optimal ratio to one another, for maximum tastyness.

"Oh, Robotics, electricity, transmission of energy and deathrays are my favourites, but I tend to dabble in all of the sciences occasionally when the mood strikes me. Althoug the Science of cooking was quite easily mastered. Unfortunately I do not eat myself, but I occasionally use good food to lull my enemies or victims into a false sense of security." the doctor said conversationally, seemingly totally unaware of the potentially lethal effect those few words could have, as he hovered through the lab, taking his patient to his first examination. He was pretty happy about how this turned out. Maroon had been quite cooperative thus far, and all he needed now would be a skin-sample and to put him threw a few machines so that he could locate the tumor, as well as to see if there was any way it had given him his almost supernatrually sharp combat-instincts, and if not, he might just stumble over whatever it was that had blessed him with his super-powers.

"With the help of science I have taken the liberty of downloadifying all of the existing files on you from the hospital, so I already know everything those cranially challenged doctors does, and unlike them, I think I will be able to help you. With science! But I need to run a few tests of my own first. Very Scientific tests." He said as he led his companion to a rather bulky machine that looked almost like a variation of the teleporter from 'the fly'

"This is. err. . . Some sort of Gizmo I haven't really given a name yet. If you come up with something I'll gladly take it under advisement. Simply calling it 'the gizmo' doesn't sound all that professional, and I am told that I was once Qui-et professional. Anyway, please step inside." The doctor said cheerfully, his voice grandfatherly voice somewhat confused, seemingly a bit embarrassed about the nameless machine.

Jack's ears had caught the words 'lull into a false sense of security'. The floating brainbot was still rambling when Jack followed him, and didn't even seem to realize the possibly fatal slip of the tongue. Way things were, Jack could probably take the brain-geezer down with a slap and a tickle of his blade. Those minions of his, though dreadful looking, probably didn't pose much of a threat either. At least not to Jack fucking Maroon.

But what would be the fun in that? So far, the good doctor had been a good host. A bit chatty maybe, and a little confused and elderly, but considering his state of...'being', Jack could just forgive that. Jack was getting good vibes from the guy, and despite his crippling sense of naivete, Jack was rarely wrong about stuff like this.
Besides, what could happen? In the worst case scenario, he'd be ambushed and would be forced to fight his way out. In Jack's book, that was hardly an undesirable outcome. Nope, he welcomed it.
But still, he more welcomed the possibility of removing his lifelong curse, that infernal cancerous growth in his gray matter that had caused him so much grief.

Jack replied with mostly Hm-hm's and Alrights to the doctor's ramblings, but hesitated a moment before stepping into the machine. 'The gizmo' hardly sounded comforting, and it was a rather suspicious space-age-looking contraption.
But Jack mustered his frontiersman courage and stepped boldly into the machine. For Science!

(OOC: Maan, sorry for the delay. I am a bad person.)

"Oh, thats a good boy!" he said encouragingly and cheerfully as Jack stepped into the device, seemingly without any fear whatsoever. Most people would probably have spent some time questioning his motives for such a thing, but Jack did not. He apreciated the obedience and well-mannered temper of the boy, although he suspected that it might have something to do with the tumor. If you have only a few months left to live, you tend to be less hesitant in taking risks or exposing yourself to dangers

"Now, just let me fiddle around with these side-switchy whirlybobs and levers, and make some science already!" Doctor 0 said enthusiastically as he quickly hovered to the very fifties-looking control-pannel of the machine and telekinetically started moving a few dials and levers about in quite a mad scientific way. Copper-coils at either side of the machine flared up with electricity, sparking like crazy, and making rather distressing, electricity-like "Nnyett-Nnyett" sounds as the procedure completed. Sure their inclusion may not have been really nessecary, but doctor 0 found that the addition of electrically charged coils helped the device looking more scientific. The machine was not outfitted with a monitor, since it did not need one. The information streamed directly into the good doctors head, and it seemed that the dunderheads at the hospital had made at least a few estimaties correct. To them this tumor seemed to be inoperable, but to him it was merely very, very difficult, and in as far as it was possible, he would rather use medicine to slow its growth rather than to cut it out, because even as they spoke, he was uncertain if he could do it without severely decreasing jacks already slightly-below-average mental faculties.

He shut the device down, and the copper-coils at the side went quiet and the arcs of electricity faded into nothing. He figured he would have to tell the lad, even though it would probably dissapoint him something awful. Oh well, that's the life of a scientist he supposed. To a true scientists there were no good resuslts or bad results, no good news or bad news, no failures or successes, just answers, nothing more nothing less. "My boy, I'm quite sad to say that even though I could probably cut that tumor out without significant risk to your life, you'll probably be left severely cranially challenged." he said, the brain bobbing slightly within his case. He figured he aught to give the poor man some good news or options for treatment.

"Although, I could remove your brain altogether and replace it with a patented Cogitator-device of my own design, containing an advanced Artificial intelligence and personality-programme. Oh, and don't worry, I'd have it programmed to follow your thought-patterns. Heck, you wouldn't even know the difference, since I'd program it not to!" he said cheerfully, as he flew hovered back and forth through, as a man pacing.

"Another alternative would be cloning you a new body entirely and transfer your mind. But there is a significant risk of you losing your powers. According to the Gizmo, there is a 98 percent chance on the likely scale of your powers not being completely genetical in their nature. Quite remarkable, really... " He continued, sounding less enthusiastic. Replacing his brain with a cogitator and AI-program sounded alot more fun in his mind.

"Or, we could put you on some meds and chems whilst I figure out a way to increase your odds of keeping your brainyness after the surgery." he continued, stating the last option.